Please Don't Go (The Story of Us Book 3)

Chapter 39- End

"I'm unsure which pain is worse-- the shock of what happened or the ache for what never will." -Unknown

There are certain moments in life that stick with you forever and when you think about it, the two major ones tend to happen in hospitals. Life and death. People say there is a fine line between life and death but most people don't really understand what that means. They liken it to the saying that there is a fine line between love and hate and it is similar but not in the way people tend to look at it. People look at love and hate as opposites and do the same to the other but the fact of the matter is, without one, the other ceases to exist.

Life and death are complex things and one could ponder them for hours. Most people think about how they will die. How the people they love will react, the cause, their funeral. What people tend not to think about is the people they love dying. How will you react when your best friend dies? Your sister? The woman you love? What was the cause? Was it your fault? Could you have done more?

Each member of the team fits in at least one of these categories as they sit in the waiting room of Virginia Medical Center, waiting for words from the doctors. Aaron clutches onto his girlfriend's hand while their baby rests safely at home under the care of Kristen's mother. Derek paces the floor of the waiting room, trying to refrain from punching a wall for not realizing they had walked into a trap from the moment they took the case. Garcia tries to keep him calm but she's trying her hardest to not freak out as well.

Rossi sits in the chapel, the only team member not waiting for the doctor. It isn't that he isn't worried, it is more that he is willing to beg for a miracle if it means that his team member doesn't die. JJ and Emily sit next to each other, both feeling guilty for different reasons, because it gives them the best vantage point of the other team member they need to worry about. Spencer Reid sits on the uncomfortable hospital chair, his entire front soaked in blood. Her blood. The blood of the woman he loves. The blood of Amanda Hotchner.

They can all tell the boy genius is in some kind of state of shock. It's obvious from his unresponsiveness just as much as his disregard of his blood-soaked clothing and hands but nobody bothers to try to break him out of it. They would all prefer the numbness of shock to the stabbing worry they are all currently suffering as they wonder if they could've done more.

Right as the door opens to admit Rossi and Director Sharp, the Emergency Operating door opens and a doctor walks out. They can tell that he was the surgeon by the sheer amount of blood covering his scrubs as he clutches his scrub cap in between his hands. He arrives in front of the group, the only ones there, and take a deep breath, preparing himself.

"Amanda Hotchner?" He asks and the team all nod, even Spencer is watching him, hoping for any lick of good news that may help untwine the knot of guilt tangling in his chest every moment. "When she came in, she was bleeding profusely," he begins. "We tried to transfuse it but we couldn't find the bleeding. We did everything we could, but I'm sorry. She didn't make it."

____________

~3 hours earlier~

Amanda sits in the conference room waiting for the rest of the team to arrive. The case had come directly to her and was time-sensitive. Despite the importance of the case, Amanda can't help but be distracted. She was still rattled from her conversation with Zach that morning. She had thought that pushing the team, her family, away would be enough to keep the monsters at bay, but she was wrong. Really wrong. According to Zach, her reaction had just proven that hurting them would make her suffer and that was his plan. Kill them and let her live knowing it was her fault.

She's broken from her thoughts by the arrival of the rest of the team and she stands up, her cold demeanor in place. "Okay, we're being called in by the Dale City Police Department," she reveals. "A woman reported her eight-year-old son Daniel missing 7 hours ago." She presses a button on the remote and a picture of a young boy with red hair, freckles, and a bright smile holding a soccer ball greets them.