Please Don't Go (The Story of Us Book 3)

Chapter 15- Baby Steps

TW: mentions/ descriptions of depression

Amanda knew what it felt like for her depression to lessen, but then again, she had never felt the overwhelming gloom that had consumed her for the past three months. Perhaps that's why this time, instead of it getting easier and easier to do things, when she woke up to her empty bed and the light shining through the windows, it felt as if a giant weight had been lifted from her shoulders. As if she had been suffering a horrible bout of the flu and after days and days of agony, her fever had finally broken and she was beginning to get better.

She looked at the indentation in the bed where Spencer had laid with her the night before, after Derek had come and she had actually talked about her emotions, which is likely what helped. She knew where her boyfriend had gone. Early that morning, he had called Kristen and asked her to come stay with her because he was going to the park to play chess.

He hadn't been there for a while, not since Gideon left the team, and she suspected that he figured that he couldn't help her heal until he dealt with the leftover feelings from Gideon's departure. Whatever the reason, he was gone and when she checked her phone to see it was already 12:30, she discovered a message from Spencer saying they had a case.

For the first time in about two weeks, Amanda got out of bed and hopped in the shower. Her movements were sluggish and she was nowhere near the bright and happy person she prided herself in being. But she was out of bed and she wasn't planning on crawling back into it until that night. That in itself was a victory. A small battle that put her on the path to winning yet another war against the constant darkness that consumed her whenever it saw fit, trying to destroy her in every way possible.

While Amanda was in the shower, Kristen sat in the kitchen of the big mansion known to everyone in the area as Terror Manor. She knew that it was alright for her to feel drained while she took care of Amanda, but she still felt guilty anyway. Amanda was her best friend and Kristen would give her life for her and Amanda would do the same. It's just how they were. It's just how best friends were. But watching someone you love, especially someone that's like an extension of yourself, slowly become a shell of themselves, destroyed by their own mind, would take a toll on anybody.

And a toll it did take. Not only on Kristen but on Spencer as well, something that was evident to everybody on the jet. The usually energetic genius who always had a fact about whatever you were talking about on hand and ready to go hadn't boasted a fact since Foyet had been killed. The team had originally chalked it up to anger at them but now they saw it for what it really was: a mixture of worry and exhaustion. The already dark circles under his eyes were darker, his poor posture was worse, almost as if he were curling in on himself.

But nothing was worse than the phone calls. He used to go into the bathroom of the jet to make them so the team wouldn't notice but after Kristen announced Amanda's condition he didn't see the point so he just went to the small kitchen area for a bit of privacy which did nothing to stop them from hearing or seeing his reaction. They heard the broken tone of his voice, saw the way his face shattered every time Lacey or Kristen reported that Amy's condition hadn't improved.

Suddenly, the team, who had all unconsciously been studying their coworker, have their attention pulled to the small screen where Garcia had popped up. She gives them what information she can on the victims when the team notices her newly dyed red hair. They give half-hearted compliments, not because they don't like it but rather because it is times like this where Amanda's presence is really felt.

The preppy blonde would've gushed for a good 15 minutes about the change in hair color, completely sidetracking the team, and as soon as they got her back on track would have pointed out hundreds of things she had figured out in the 15 minute period that they hadn't even considered. Once they ended the video call with Garcia, Spencer stood once again to head to the kitchen area to make his daily phone call.