Everyone Deserves Happiness.

Chapter 10

It had been a week. Derek was gone for a week. And Meredith well, she had never felt so out of place in her life. She tried calling but he didn't answer. Every single time she convinced herself his phone was dead maybe he was just as messed up as she was. Or he was at work.

She stopped drinking herself to sleep seeing as it was unhealthy and all. She didn't know what to do with her life. He was it for her. He was the one and she screwed it up. She thought various times maybe if I hurt myself and end up in the er he'll come back? I quickly dismissed that thought though seeing how toxic it was and all.

It was about 12 now I had no motivation to wake up early in the mornings nor clean after myself.I took a quick shower got ready and then sat there at my dresser until I heard something downstairs.

"Meredith!"
"Derek? I'm in the room"
He walked up the stairs to see her sitting at the dresser and gave her a soft smile. She reciprocated it and he sat on the bed behind her.

"Meredith we should talk"

"We should "

"A girl at a carnival kissed me and I backed away immediately "

"Yes"

"And you were upset or are still upset I don't know, and you kicked me out of our bedroom"

"Yes"

"We had sex and you confessed why you felt the way you did and we were good"

"Yes"

"Between then and the party what the hell happened? Because I knew we weren't Meredith and Derek but I thought we were better"

"Derek I don't know I was ok that confession wasn't a lie but I had some tequila and the feelings all came back and I was mad again and I wanted to hurt you"

"I don't-I don't know why.. why Meredith how many times do we have to go over this story I didn't kiss her she didn't even kiss me for a second she leaned in and I leaned out immediately I don't understand how you'd still be mad at me"

"Because her lips still touched yours that feeling made me sick I couldn't fathom why or how that would happen"

"I didn't ask for it but you on the other hand went and kissed some stranger to intentionally hurt me"
He stood up with that and started pacing the room

"I mean what the hell I don't know how to breathe anymore because I need you Mer I need you but I can't. I just you kissed another person and if I wasn't there I'm damn near sure you'd sleep with him and I can't shake that feeling. That every time we fight or I do something intentional or accidental you'd do something outrageous to get me back."

He stopped pacing to look at her. Really look at her. She looked like she hadn't eaten or slept she looked broken how he felt on the inside but wouldn't allow to be shown on the outside.

" what are you saying?"

"I'm saying..I don't know what I'm saying I'm angry and hurt but I need you but I don't know what you can do to help me"
He stopped pacing and sat down

"Meredith what do we do?"

"I don't know Derek all I know is I love you and I'm sorry"

"That's.. that's not enough but then again I don't know what would be enough so I-I don't know "

He stood up and walked over to where she was seated. She looked up at him and stood up. He hugged her he brought her in for a much needed hug and inhaled the scent that he missed so much. She sobbed. Her whole body shook as she cried in the arms of the love of her life. He brought her over to their bed. Their. And they laid there holding each other until she fell asleep.

He didn't though he was still so upset about the whole thing but the love he had for her was to great he couldn't do it anymore.

"Mer I love you so much" he whispered as she slept and kissed her forehead. He swore he saw her smile as she slept which made him chuckle.

He held her for an hour before she woke up. She looked at him and he looked back and they just looked at each other as if they were apologizing with their eyes until she leaned over to kiss him. But he moved slightly.

"Mer I want you I want to kiss you I do but we can't bury this with sex I think we should take a break from it for a little while until we fully sort through this mess."

"I think your right der." She kissed his cheek and laid back on his chest

"What did you do while you were gone"

"Well I ate junk food binged Tokyo ghoul and uh was more dedicated to work then ever before"

"Oh well I drank myself to sleep most nights .. and cried that was about it"

His grip tightened on that confession

"Oh Mer I'm so sorry I was gone for so long"
He kissed her forehead

"It's ok i deserved it"

"You look like you haven't eaten" he said sadly

"I couldn't I couldn't function without you Derek"

"Meredith I know this was hard but you have to take care of yourself during times like this I can't live without you"

"But you did"

"I didn't I survived without you it was hell"

There grips tightened around each other

"We should take a vacation just the two of us I think that would help tremendously"

"But you have work"

"I'm the chief of neuro if I want to take a break I will"

"Ok then where would we go"

"Hawaii?"

"Hmm I like that I've always wanted to go to Hawaii"

"We'll leave tomorrow and stay two weeks?"

"Yeah, yeah that sounds great"

"Derek?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you"

"I love you to mer" he kissed her forehead again and the two went to bed

A/N ahhh I'm so happy it was so hard writing them apart I wonder tho will they rlly be happy in Hawaii🤔