Tw talk of rape
Meredith woke up to an empty bed. Remembering where she was and the morning she and Derek had. She smiled to herself and turned on the tv. She remembered she still had attack on Titan to finish and clicked on it. She watched the first few minutes but got irritated at how poorly treated Mikasa has been by Eren. Meredith didn't understand what his problem is but izzie had watched the show and told her he'd get better eventually.
Meredith watched a little more until she became sick. But it was a different type of sickness it wasn't she needed to to use the bathroom sickness or needed to vomit..it was the sickness of being touched.
She hurdled into a ball and laid down in fetal position. Her body suddenly agonized in pain and she cried. Her body shuddered and she didn't know how to stop it. She felt like she did after she was first assaulted. She could barely breathe. She couldn't get up. She laid there crying and shaking hoping Derek or someone would come to check on her.
There was a new meal that came out and Meredith and Derek had talked about getting it so that was where he was. But the line was too long and he was Meredith deprived he decided to get it the next day with Meredith.
He got home and unlocked the door. He dropped the key on the island when he heard her crying.
"Meredith?" He asked worried
She didn't respond instead it sounded like her crying got louder. Derek ran upstairs and found her laying on her side crying. He took off his shoes and got into bed with her. He pulled her closer to him and held her. He kissed the top of her head.
"Mer what's wrong?"
She sort of resisted him.... She felt disgusting and didn't want it to spread over to him. She felt uncomfortable in his arms but she also wanted to be there..it was safe.
"De-Derek" she whimpered
"What's wrong love?" He asked squeezing her a bit
"I don't.. I feel-touched i was raped on multiple " she gasped. She couldn't get the words out. She didn't know how to explain that she felt how she did all those years ago.
"Oh mer, your ok. They're gone your here with me and your ok. I need you to breathe Meredith can you do that for me?" He whispered in her hair
She nodded slightly and took a deep shaky inhale of breath. And then she exhaled. She did this a couple of times until she was able to breathe normally.
She lifted her head off his chest and gave him a slight smile.
"Thank you" she breathed
"I'll always be here Meredith " he said brushing a strand of hair behind her ear he leaned in to give her quick kiss but she leaned back.
"Oh crap I'm sorry I'm so sorry I didn't mean-" she stammered
"It's fine Meredith. I respect your boundaries if you don't feel comfortable that's fine"
She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in the crook of his neck.
"I'm sorry" she whispered against his neck
"Stop apologizing "he said rubbing her back
"I don't know why this is happening...Derek please help me I can't do this again" she said as a tear fell down her face
"I'll do everything in my power to help you Meredith. Your not doing this alone I'm here " he said as he placed a kiss to the side of her head.
He could feel her cringe a little and felt bad for making her uncomfortable.
"No types if intimacy?"
"No..Derek I'm so sorry I'm just I'm sorry" she said as she broke down again
"I'm your wife I should want to kiss you and be kissed by you but I can't and im-"
"Meredith please..please stop it. Stop apologizing it's ok. I love you I love you so much you don't have to kiss me or want to be kissed if it makes you uncomfortable. Please stop apologizing " he said trying to pull back but her grip wouldn't loosen.
"Don't leave yet please" she whispered
"I'm not going anywhere "
They stayed like that for a while. The comfort Derek brought her helped a lot but not enough. She was upset because of how much this would set them back. She didn't get it,she made love to her husband this morning and now she couldn't even stand being kissed by him.It wasn't fair.
Not at all.
Meredith eventually pulled back and she got under the sheets and faced away from him.
"Meredith..what do you need? Do you need me to hold you? Do you want food or just what do you need?"
"I don't know..I don't know" she whimpered
"Can I hold you?"
She nodded and he could see her head move. He laid next to her and wrapped his arms around her. Her body shuddered at the contact and he pulled back. She turned over and signaled that he'd try again and he did. This time her body didn't shudder.. maybe because it didn't feel too sexual it was just hugging but laying down.
"Derek what's wrong with me?"she asked against his chest
"There's nothing wrong with you. You survived a terrible thing twice your allowed to feel Meredith"
"Why now? Why is this happening now?? We had sex this morning why am I now all of the sudden disgusted by the thought of kissing you"
"I don't know why it's happening now but it's a normal reaction Meredith..you will be ok again "
"Ok" she breathed
"I love you" she whispered against his chest
"I love you too"
YOU ARE READING
Everyone Deserves Happiness.
Romance⚠️TW⚠️ Mention of rape,suicide,alcohol,drugs Meredith has been broken and everyone has tried there best to lift her spirits. Will she remain broken? Or will there be a certain someone who will get through to her?
