Exquisite Mistakes | ✓

42 addicted

addicted (adj.) • physically and mentally dependent on a particular substance, and unable to stop taking it without incurring adverse effects.

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epilogue

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Mason

Dear chéri,

I've always loved calling you chéri because that's what you are: a sweetheart. You've always taken care of me, even though it was through a phone call. You never once judged me for who I am and what I do. You've always understood my jokes and you've always enjoyed my humour as well. I just want you to know why I did what I did.

Chéri, my demons took over and it all became too much for me. I was mentally ill, and no one could've helped me. Everything hurt so bad. I couldn't think straight sometimes. I'm going, to be honest with you, and I know you'll be disappointed in me, but I slit my wrists before this too. It helped me feel pain and know that I hadn't gone crazy yet. That I was still feeling something, instead of nothing.

I should've come to you. But I was being petty since we fought. You were right. I do run away from my problems. I always have, but I hate confrontation. I'll regret leaving you. You were meant to be my forever chéri. You and me, side by side. Sitting on the front porch of our ranch house, on the balcony of our mansion, or sitting on the roof of our simple house watching the sunrise. You're my drug. I'm addicted to you. I don't know if you're addicted to me, but I am addicted to you.

I started to be slightly happy knowing someone other than my own brother cares for me. But the other part of my mind and body just forced me to deny it. To ignore it. It made it seem like someone else caring for me was too good to be true.

But I love you, Mason Woods. You're my chéri. I'll always love you wholeheartedly and I'll never forget you. But you need to forget me and move on. Find someone who'll love you just as much as I do. I don't know how to get over an addiction but I do know it's possible. Everyone gets over it at one point. I just want to tell you to stay strong and to be happy. I love chéri, forever and always.

Love, Ivy a.k.a Biscotto

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I STARE AT the note in my hands, as a few more tears roll down my cheek. I wiped them away while shoving the note into my pocket. Today was a nightmare. But I didn't know what to do anymore. Soft music played in the background. I squeezed my eyes shut; this can't be happening. But it is, she's gone.

I don't move from my spot. I feel someone sit down next to me, and I open my eyes and look over to see it's Oren. He gives me a sad smile, "It's going to be okay Mase." Oren places his hand on my shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze.

I look directly in front of me, my eyes landing on the smooth, sleek, black casket. It was opened from the top, revealing her laying inside. The bottom half was closed, it was covered with the casket spray, in pretty white and pink chrysanthemums-her favourite flowers.

"How are you doing?" Lucas said, sitting down next to me. He had a blank expression on his face and I shrugged. "I don't know." A small sigh escaped him. "You've said that all day man." I scoffed, rolling my eyes, "Well I don't fucking know." From my peripheral gaze, I could see him clenching his jaw.

"I'll take care of him, Lucas." A soft voice came from behind us. I didn't bother turning around to see who it was, I already knew. "Thank you . . . I'm worried about him." He says whispering the last part. "I know you are Lucas. Don't worry. He's upset. He lost someone important to him."