Promise. (Manthony)

Thirteen

     I accidentally bump into Mitchel as I walk down the stairs, "Sorry," he mumbles as he rushes up to his room. I frown as I was the one who bumped into him. I shake it off and sniff the air as the fresh smell of French fries fills my nose. I look around and see my friends chatting as they eat some fast food they had brought home.

"Where's mine?" I question with my hunger becoming worse.

"Kitchen counter. Mitchel took his upstairs." Jesse tells me. I hum in response. Mitchel and I were avoiding each other again.

"Have you spoken to him?" Clinton asks. Stuffing a bite of his vegan sandwich in his mouth. My memory backtracks to what happened between Mitchel and I the other day. I shrug. Unwrapping my burger and setting it on a plate. 

"Sort of," I mumble. I throw away the excess trash that was highly unnecessary and unhealthy for the planet. Clinton and I hadn't spoken much either. My apologies didn't rewind time and erase what I had caused. All I could do was give everyone time and mind my business.

I had a feeling I was failing miserably at this task.

"He's ignoring me," I say aloud as I walk into the dining room. I sit in my seat and take a bite of my food.

"I don't blame him." Clinton snaps at me. I glance up at him. I was a little too vulnerable to be able to put with more shit. I push past it and focus on my food again. 

"Give Mitty time. He plays some fault in this and we all know it." Jesse reasons with me. He gives me a reassuring smile. His tone telling me to ignore Clinton's pettiness as much as I could.

"He wouldn't have gotten involved if Christian hadn't been an idiot. Plain and simple." Clinton tells Jesse.

"Okay? You got involved too. We all did." Pat says to Clinton. He scoffs. Rolling his eyes at Pat.

"I was trying to help out my brother who was getting beaten up by some asshole." He retorts. "And this is Christian's fault."

"I know," I cut in. "I know it is...but is it really necessary to remind me every time you speak to me?" I question calmly. It seemed a bit unfair to me and I didn't understand how reminding me would help solve anything.

"I guess I do since you're questioning why Mitchel's ignoring you," Clinton shakes his head disapprovingly. "I really don't get why the fuck we all aren't ignoring you." He adds, his hands curling into fists.

Jessie sighs. Pushing his plate a little further ahead of him. He'd lost his appetite due to the argument we were now having.

"There's more going on that just that stupid party." I say to Clinton. I was defending myself but to be fair there was more going on than he thought. I wasn't ready to tell anyone yet, but it was ignorant for him to believe that the only thing happening was the fight's consequences.

"Tell us then. We're sitting right here. Why can't you just be honest?" I frown at the last comment. It hurt more than it should've. Although,  I suppose that was intentional. My hands start to feel clammy. I was getting uncomfortable with the tension that was worsening as time ticked by.

"B-be honest about what? I've been nothing but honest?" I knew that was a lie.

Clinton fake laughs. Crossing his arms and sitting back in his seat.

"You've dodged all our questions. Why did you take the drugs? What was wrong? What made you go that far? Who were you talking to? What fucking else is happening that's so secret you can't tell us?!" Clinton stares into my eyes. Making me feel uncomfortable under his gaze.

The long sleeve shirt I'm wearing was making me feel overheated and I didn't like it. I swallow hard. Putting down the French fry I was holding.

"Look, I know you want all of those answers and you deserve to too but I'm not ready to say anything."

"Surprise...surprise." He replies, twirling his finger in the air, which means "whoop-de-do". He gets up from his seat and takes his dish into the kitchen. Clinton still had half of his sandwich left, but I figured he didn't want to be near me anymore. Good enough for me. I didn't want to be near him either.

"Just ignore him, Kras. He's just mad." Jesse says to me. I don't reply.

"Oh, I'm not mad. I'm way past fucking mad." Clinton raises his voice, looking directly at me. "You ruined everything!" He continues, making me flinch when I remember the way Mitchel's dad yelled at him and I. It was as if he had never yelled before and just figured out how to.

"Why are you being such an asshole? Back off a bit. This sucks for Christian too." Pat says to Clinton. I appreciated Jesse and Pat sticking up for me.

"I'm being the asshole? Did everyone forget how much we were humiliated? We lost our manager, our publicist, our tour, our chance to get bigger...and who fucking took it from us? Him!" Clinton yells. Pointing his finger right at me.

Clinton definitely got his anger from his dad.

"I'm sorry. There's nothing more I can do than say I'm sorry. I know it doesn't change what I did, but I am sorry." I try again. My throat was becoming dry and it was difficult to swallow.

Clinton leans his hands down on the table. Standing right in front of me and leaning forward so he was about two inches away from my face.

"You ruined all of it for us. Your sorry is meaningless." He takes a moment to glare at me before backing away. He snatches his drink from the table and leaves the room. Jesse sighs and gives me an apologetic look. Jogging to catch up to Clinton who was half way up the stairs already.

"We know you're sorry. I think he's mad at himself too. Don't beat yourself up over the things he said." Pat says to me. He pats me on the back and leaves as well.

I was left alone...again. I had only sat here to avoid being alone with my thoughts. All I wanted was to get my mind off of the shit with Mitchel but it went the exact opposite.

My food no longer looked tasty. Pain, sadness, and anger coursed throughout my entire body. I wanted to break everything around me. It took everything out of me not to push everything off the table. I wanted to hear the way the plate would hit the floor and shatter because that's what my heart was doing. It was constantly crashing against a wooden floor and smashing into a million pieces. I wanted to cry uncontrollably. I wanted to bury myself six feet under, but all I could do was sit in this chair silently. I bite down on my lip harshly. My eyes watering and my throat now feeling like it was closing up.

I had fucked up so badly. No body had been so angry at me like that, not even when I was a small child.

I cover my mouth with my hand as I sob to myself. My shoulders were shaking. I take a few deeps breaths. Wiping my eyes aggressively.

"Are you okay?" I jump in my seat. My face immediately heating up when I see Mitchel standing in front of me.

"I-I'm-"

"Don't say you're fine. I just saw you crying." I look down. I wanted to now bury myself ten feet under.

The chair beside me moves. I see Mitchel sit down out of the corner of my eye.

"I heard what he said. He's just mad. The same way you are, I am, and everyone else is. I'm sorry he took it out on you like that." Mitchel pulls me into him. My head resting against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me comfortingly.

"It's okay to cry." I was .5 seconds away from sobbing all over again but instead I enjoyed being held and hearing the heartbeat of the person I loved most.