Her Captain, The Gamemaster

Health Is The New Wealth

~Flashback~

I grab a ball from the cart and begin throwing it against the floor to untense my shoulder muscles. It was one of techniques that Li taught me and I turn to said Chinese girl. She was sleeping peacefully even though practice had already begun. She slept basically throughout the whole school day and disappeared to the library during break and lunch.

I get the feeling she's scared to talk to the other girls. We've been at this school for a whole week already. Math has been difficult and I've already been struggling to get up in the morning. She's been 'studying' in the library which I know is a complete lie because I saw her sleeping on a random textbook.

'She's studied ahead of the whole year's syllabus. I highly doubt she needs any help. She's even doing well in chem and bio and she HATES it,' I think to myself as I twist my hips and neck. 

Hearing a clap snap me out of my thinking, I see the Zinovenko sisters watch me stretch in curiosity. I motion for them to come join me, seeing as they don't have much knowledge about volleyball other than intimidating the opponents with their intuition. I had to re-teach them all the basics yesterday.

I smirk as an idea popped up in my head and I begin to lean against Esme's back and her screams fill up gymnasium 4. I apply a tiny bit more weight against her, hearing her voice reach an impossible pitch before walking off with a stupid smile on my face.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I see our OlYmPic cHaMpiOn, Annie scoff at me. Over the past week, we've grown closer and we're syncing up with each other now.

Kind of.

Well, actually all of us have been struggling to sync up with each other. The triplets can't hit it on time and Annie's hit are too inconsistent with my setting. It's been hard and our last first-year hasn't actually practiced.

I feel an irk mark make it's way to my forehead and a slight twitch in my lip as I glared at the sleeping form of my roommate. Annie walks over to me and pats my head while I grit my teeth. 'Can. She. Wake. UP?!?'

I see Li's form move and she opens her eyes to look at me, chuckling internally.

'Practice,' I send her and she rolls her eyes before walking over to me in her sportswear, taking off a large sweater.

She walks past me, picks up a ball and begins throwing it around at all angles. I ought to feel a sense of victory but I feel more annoyed that she isn't playing with me.

'Isn't she gonna stretch?' I hear - I think Isla? - ask.

'She doesn't need to right now. She doesn't even stretch when she wakes up. Apparently it's because she doesn't want to put energy into anything that's not sleeping,' I explain, slightly confused at my words.

'What's she doing right now?'

'Practicing,'

I watch her spin a ball at a left angle, tossing it to the floor a few feet ahead of her and just watching it drop.

'Umm, how is that gonna help her in volleyball?' Annie asks.

'She analyzing the fall so she's prepared in a situation in a game where a ball might have an oddly angled spin or an irregular speed ball or both. Like quick attacks, floats, lefties and others. She's watching the ball,'

We stand there in silence for another second before-

'With her eyes closed?' asked a doubtful Isla.

I sweat drop.

'Umm yeah, she's responding to the sound of the drop and guessing it's angle. She doesn't like opening her eyes much,'

'Why?'

'To her, opening her eyes is like opening the door of a soundproof and comfortable room into a war of chaos and loudness. It affects her concentrated hearing and disrupts her body flow,' 

'Hmm. She's odd,' Annie notes and I laugh.

'Yeah, but she's amazing. She can control her every move, deliver anything from any angle and position perfectly to me. It's thanks to her receives that I can pull off a smooth set,'

We stood there in silence for a while before Annie pumped her fist in the air with a shout. 'Let's have a game!'

There were shouts of reply and the triplets pushed me towards the blind figure who was bouncing the ball. I yell across the room, ignoring the stares of students passing the gym corridor. 'Li-ah! Wanna join us?!?'

*Li's POV*

I was at peace in my own haven, listening to the soft beat of the ball as it syncs with my heartbeat. I walked around to somewhere, losing track of time and space, clearing out my thoughts to bring myself back to the same room where I spend hours dreaming in almost like I've never left.

Keep me out from the noise.

I ask myself for impossible things all the time. I can't avoid some things forever, just like the estranged voice of my grandma when I called her last night. Or the blank will on her desk and the echoing voice of my grandpa slowly fading away.

I ignore these thoughts. Keep this up and I'll be locked out of my space. Few things wake me up and even fewer things lock me out.

Because even in my own world, there are things I can't control.

I walk around my room, looking at the walls covered in nothing, then pastel, then artworks, then marble, constantly changing, according to my thoughts. The furniture which constantly changes itself with a single idea. I return to my first room, the room I used most. A soft mattress on the floor with infinite layers of duvets piled on top, a stack of books next to it. A clean room with thick bedding-like carpet. 

A room where you can sleep anywhere, dream anywhere.

I lay down on my white plain duvet and sink into the layers, my head resting against another messily folded duvet. Nothing in this room was clean, but it was not dirty either. Everything was fresh but laxly cared for.

This was my haven.

A place free of pain and bad memories.

Those thoughts no longer run through my head and I push past my thoughts that have bugged me since my move to Japan and the pain of yesterday's call. I think back to my plans. 

This is my weapon and my shield.

This is what I'll use to get through this.

And maybe,

just maybe,

I won't feel anything anymore.

Author's Note:

jfc soo-ah already has shitty parents so why not just add sum more ✨trauma✨

cuz we all need some. ur not my friend unless you make fun of my trauma with me

anyone who ever needs anything or just a checkup, pls pm me. ik what it's like to be in pain or just rlly bored.

also why tf does her 'plans' sound so effing evil? i swear it's actually rlly innocent

thxx.