You are the Reason

Chapter 39

"How did you even come up to that decision?" Kung nakita ko man ang nagmumulto niyang ngiti kanina, bumalik na naman ang pagiging seryoso niya ngayon.

Her glare was too intense. I couldn't look back at her. Tanging ang pasta sa harapan ko ang pinag tutuunan ko ng pansin.

Naghuhuramentado ang puso ko nang muling magsalubong ang mga mata naming dalawa. It's as if she wouldn't let this night pass without knowing what I planned.

Honestly speaking, I don't have a lot of friends. Simply because I don't trust people that much. Some of the individuals from my field of work doesn't like me. Some of them acts like they do, but I know how they hate me.

I know for a fact that some people are not happy to be with me because I'm not actually so good in a lot of things. But... I also know that there are few people who choose to believe and stay with me. There are people who see the good in me. And the person in front of me, she puts a lot of effort just to make me feel appreciated.

Hindi ko kahit kailan naramdaman na wala lang sa kanya ang nararamdaman ko.

Right at this moment, I just want to hug her and never let go.

Habang galit ang tingin na ipinupukol niya sa akin, lumalago ang paghanga ko sa kanya. Alam kong artista siya at magaling sa larangan ng industriya pero hindi ko alam kung paano niya naitatago ang pagmamahal sa akin sa sitwasyon namin ngayon. She looks mad at me. Just mad.

"You know what..." panimula kong sabi bago sumimsim sa straw ng orange juice.

She raised a brow as she fixed the way she was sitting.

"I may come up with the decision where I was left with nothing but to leave," I breathed out because I don't think I delivered my words properly.

"You know, I'll always choose you." I cleared my throat as I feel a lump in it. "Ngayon ko lang din 'to narealize... but the first time that I caught feelings for you, I never wanted anybody else."

"There are decisions that I didn't want to do. There are things that I never wanted to happen." Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at marahang pinisil. "It's just that... the universe left me with no other choice."

"What really happened, Rhi?" Pinisil niya sa bahagyang paraan ang kamay ko bago pa ako makapag salita.

Tumikhim ako at napaiwas ng tingin. Hindi sigurado kung aamin ba o mananahimik na lang. I'm not really sure if telling her would put her mind at peace, ayaw kong mas lalo lang madagdagan ang mga iniisip niya .

After waves of thoughts on how to tell her, I ended up composing my words regarding what happened.

"Well... uh," and even after thinking things out, I still couldn't find courage to tell her everything.

"Your manager talked to me about your decision to not sign a new contract." I showed her a slight smile. "You rejected a lot of offers... that's why."

"I want to settle down and have a simple life. I'm tired of staying in the spotlight. Gusto ko na lang matigil lahat at magkaroon ng tahimik na buhay kasama ka." Sa paraan ng pagtitig niya sa akin, alam ko kung gaano ka-totoo ang sinasabi niya.

"That's not what your manager wants." I felt my lips dried so I sipped on my juice. "She wanted to see you do more things. I've always been your fan and I know that you love your work so much. I don't want you to give it up just because of me, Glaiza." I chuckled as I realize that actually, even if I'll go, I'd support her from afar.

"I'm tired of working and waking up thinking about work. Ilang tao na rin akong nasa industriya. Gusto ko na lang ng tahimik na buhay kasama ka." Her eyes are weary. Her lips are a bit parted. Paulit ulit ang paghawi na ginagawa niya sa kanyang buhok dahil maiksi ito at paulit ulit na tumatakas sa tainga.