You are the Reason

Chapter 37

I was attentively looking from my left to right as I walk towards the elevator. As I patiently wait for it to open after clicking the button on the left side, I couldn't ignore the loud beat of my heart. My phone kept on receiving texts but I just couldn't check them.

Hindi pa man din ako umaalis, nawawasak na ako agad. Mahirap umalis, mahirap mang iwan. At hindi ko yata magagawang patawarin ang aking sarili kung mapunta man ito sa wala.

I know my girlfriend. Hindi niya ako paaalisin kung ang idadahilan ko ay para iyon sa kapakanan niya. I know her better than anybody else. Alam ko ang takbo ng utak niya at katulad ko, parehas kaming kapakanan ng isat-isa ang iisipin.

Galiza's manager asked to meet me at the open space of the building. It was three floors down from the roof. The only noise that I hear was the music from the party. Medyo rinig pero hindi ganoon kalakas.

I saw a woman maybe in her late 40's as I walk towards the said place to meet. Suot niya ang itim na malaking blusa habang may manipis na telang nakapalibot sa may kalaparan niyang balikat.

She wasn't shocked to see me but I was shocked to meet her eyes full of questions. Mukhang marami kaming mapag uusapan ngunit nangingibabaw sa akin ang kagustuhan na maunahan siyang magsalita.

"I did not ask her to not accept any project, first of all." I started, trying to defend my side even though I'm leaving.

I can't afford another heartbreak but I won't allow Glaiza to quit whatever she started. Marami na siyang naipundar at naisuko para sa karera niya. She's been in a lot of battles and now that she's at peak of her career, I can't let her drop it all of just for me.

Tumikhim siya sa gilid ko bago dumungaw sa tanawin. Buildings were lit up by different color of lights. Matingkad at makinang ang mga bituin habang malamig ang bawat ihip na ginagawa ng hangin.

Alam ko na agad kahit wala pa siyang sinasabi. Tanggap ko na agad kahit hindi pa man siya nagsasalita. Hindi maaaring talikuran ni Glaiza ang lahat para sa katulad ko lang. Masyado na siyang maraming napatunayan at ako, ni walang maisip na kung anong bagay na maging dahilan niya para manatili sa akin.

This scenery is almost perfect. From the view to how peaceful it is. The cool breeze of night that hugs my body. Bahagya pang nanginig ang aking pang ibabang labi nang maramdaman ang bagong ihip ng hangin.

I smiled sadly as I thought of my situation. This is how sickening my life is. It makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time. Nakakalula at nakakabaliw. Ang kaligayahan na madarama saglit, babawiin sa masakit na paraan. Parang palagi na lang may paraan ang mundo para bawiin ang kung anong nagpapasaya sa'kin.

"She received an email from a team in London. It was a tour of different singers. Mayroon din sa Amsterdam na gagawing pelikula pero tinanggihan niya." Mahina at parang nanunuyo ang boses niya.

It's funny how hard she's trying to make me understand this. Hindi naman na ako bata. Alam ko na agad ang labas nito.

"She declined seven offers just last month. Marami rin siyang hindi tinanggap na trabaho dahil sa apat na buwan niyang pahinga..." if she's trying to make me feel guilty about it, she doesn't have to. Aalis ako at hindi ko naman guguluhin ang alaga niya. Wala naman akong balak na guluhin ang buhay niya.

"Last month, she was offered a Concert for her comeback. Maraming fans na nagdedemand. There are fans who wanted her loveteam to be back on screen since both of them are single," tumagilid siya at humarap sa akin. "She declined all those because she wanted to have you back." Karen Beltrano looked at me deeply.

"Walang artista ang aalis sa gitna ng kasikatan. Alam mo sa sarili mo 'to dahil artista ka rin, Rhian. She said she's quitting showbiz and will start a life with you." Halos maiyak sa akin ang manager ni Glaiza nang sabihin niya 'yon.