Winter's Widow pt 1!

The Memory- Plane Ride from Siberia

You and Bucky knew that in 4 weeks Project insight would take place. Neither of you wanted to be apart of that so you knew this was your last chance to run.

You run on the plane after Bucky. He reaches his hand out and you grab it and climb in.

Y/N- was it really this easy?!?
Bucky- I'm not questioning it! *You laugh* *he picks you up and kisses you*
Y/N- Ask me again..
Bucky- Will you Marry me?
Before you could answer you are surrounded and restrained by Hydra agents. You start screaming for Bucky
Y/N- Bucky! No! Get off me! Leave him alone!!
Bucky is fighting the men holding him back. He is screaming as well.
Bucky- Let her go! Don't touch her! Y/N!! If you harm her I will kill you!

-Everybody needs to calm down
You look around to find who's speaking. Alexander Pierce walks through the group of men straight to you.
Pierce- let's talk
*You swing your leg out and kick him in the knee.
Y/N- Go to Hell!
You were waiting for a retaliation but nothing came. Pierce motioned to the agents and they moved you to another part of the plane. You could hear Bucky screaming as they escorted you away.
Pierce- y/n you have 2 options. Option 1 you tell Bucky you never loved him and you were only using him to get out of this God forsaken place. If you choose this one you live out your life with us and he goes free or option 2... we kill you and make him watch. Obviously this isn't a great option because you'd be dead and he'd be with us.
Pierce- Look we can handle loosing one of you but not both... so you get to decide... who.. goes.. free. So which do you think he will actually be able to live with? Knowing his Girlfriend died for him and for nothing at that point because like I said we won't loose both of you or knowing she never loved him and was just using him... I know I know they are not great choices.
*pierce leans in close*
Pierce- but you didn't think we would ever let you leave...did you? You're our best. So why would we make this easy. Either you stay with us or you die.
Y/N- If I do this you won't hurt him? He gets to walk away and you will never bother him again?
Pierce- I won't touch him.
Y/N- fine
Pierce- Wow I honestly thought you'd fight a little harder for your man... guess you really don't love him.
Y/N- I love him more than you could ever know. But if lying to him gets him free and away from Hydra... then you bet your ass I'm gonna do it. Do we have a deal?
Pierce- Deal

You walk to where they are holding Bucky. You say to yourself "okay Y/N this has to be your best performance yet" you think *this is to save Bucky*
Bucky- Y/N! Are you okay? Help me get out of these we can take them.
Y/N- James stop! Look you're nice and I needed a way out and I thought you were my best option but then you got feelings and ugh... fell in love.
Bucky- what?? Y/N what is going on?
Y/N- I was only using you to get out of this Hell hole James. And well you couldn't even get me out without getting caught so... I'm just gonna go back. I mean my life wasn't so horrible.
Bucky- Except it was! You hated every minute with them. This isn't you...
Y/N- actually it is.. *Bucky interrupts you yelling at first and then he softens his tone*
Bucky- No! This isn't the women I love.... The women I would die for... the one I want to Marry... remember! I don't know what they did to you but remember!! Don't let them turn you into the monster you fear.
*you turn away because you can't contain the tears any longer* *this is all to save him*
Y/N- I will always be a monster.. just..like..you. Goodbye James.
You walk away.. you hear him start to cry. He had poured his heart out to you in your time together and you just used every fear he had to break his heart and save his life. *at least he will be alive. Maybe in time I can fix this*
You go stand next to pierce.
Pierce- okay now that we're done with that wipe his mind and get her out of here.

*Present day*
You are still asleep on Bucky's shoulder but you start to mumble in your sleep and he can tell you are having a nightmare. He kisses you on the head and holds you tighter.

*Your nightmare continues... Plane ride from Siberia*
Y/N- YOU SON OF A B*TCH!!!
*You run at Pierce with all your might and head-butt him*
Bucky- Y/N!!!
Y/N- WE HAD A DEAL!!!
They've already started the process and Bucky is screaming. You try to stop them but you can't.
Y/N- YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T HURT HIM!!!
A big guy come up from behind you and puts you in a choke hold. Pierce gets in your face
Pierce- I said I would not hurt him... and guess... what... I'm not.
Y/N- I will kill you.
The last thing you hear before you pass out is Bucky/WS talking to Pierce
Bucky/WS- Ready to comply.

You wake up in the same room and you hear the door behind you slam shut and lock. You turn around to see Bucky but he is brainwashed.
Y/N- Bucky it's me... you don't have to do this.
Bucky comes at you full speed. You can't fight him off. He grabs you by the neck and walks you toward the door of the plane. He rips the door open and leans you out of the plane.
Bucky/WS- you wanted to leave... here is your exit.
As you are crying you reach out and cradle Bucky's face with one hand while you hold his wrist with the other.
Y/N- Yes Bucky Barnes... I love you and I always will. I would've loved to be your wife.
You see the trance break and you can tell your Bucky is back if only for a moment.
Bucky- ...y/n *he whispers*
Y/N- Don't let them get me. Don't let them win Buck. Please let me go.. *you let go of his wrist and rest your hands by your side*
Bucky- You said yes...
Y/N- I love you James Bucky Barnes but you need to let me go. They can't have us both. You know what they will do if they get me. Believe me this is a kinder fate..
Bucky- Don't ask this of me..
Y/N- Please I can't go back you know that! Let me go..

Bucky looks deeply into your eyes and you can see his heart breaking in the moment he decides to do as you have asked.
Y/N- It's okay Buck... we will be okay. I love you so much!
Bucky- I love you too Mrs. Barnes *he pulls you in for one last kiss* -Please forgive me.
Bucky yells and with one swift movement you are falling from the plane. All your remember from the fall is the look on Bucky face and him being pulled back from the door. No pain... just utter freedom.
You wake up 3 weeks later in a remote hospital in Budapest. You find Natasha sitting by your bedside.
You try to sit up but you can't.

Nat- Hey take it easy! You really know how to make an entrance. Even with super soldier serum you are lucky to be alive.
Y/N- They have him Nat... they still have him.
Nat- We can get him back don't worry.
Y/N- He was willing to kill me just so I could get away. No, I'm not about to risk being captured again. I would have put him through all of that... through loosing..... *your voice cracks* it would have all been for nothing if that happens.
Nat- what do you want to do then
Y/N- I need to disappear... *you look at Nat with tears in your eyes*... He asked me to Marry him. We were escaping and he took the time to ask me to Marry Him. He had asked so many times before but I never answered because there was never going to be a future for us....until suddenly there was. We talked about starting a family Nat..
Nat- You never had the graduation ceremony?
Y/N- No. Hydra saw promise in me and needed me right away. They didn't want to wait for me to heal after surgery so they said they would "deal with it later" but they never did. I let my guard down for one second and started to make plans... the next thing I know I'm falling from the sky.
*you are filled with so many emotions and you begin to cry*
Nat holds your hand and wipes the tears from your face.

You hear someone walking down the hall and they enter your room.
Clint- Hey the jet is here.. if we are going to move her we have to do it now. Also Furry called.. needs you to get Cap and get ready for a mission. Something about a boat and pirates.
Nat- okay thanks
You sit there waiting to leave... and the only thing you can think is * Bucky please forgive me*

You jolt awake as the jet touches down outside the compound. Bucky brushes your hair out of your face
Bucky- Hey it's okay. You're safe. Welcome Home!
*you look out the window of the jet*
Avengers compound