Boyfriend Privilege (Sam YU AU FF)

Messed Up

A/N: I know I know, I'm sorry this took a bit long. Don't be mad okay?

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"What did you expect me to do Yu? He was bleeding to death and your blade was what caused it. Do you expect me to just let you stay and get caught by the police!?"

A towering man yelled out, resounding through a mansion surrounded by man-made lawns. Yu was hugging his knees, leaning his backs against the side of a wooden bed. There weren't tears on his face but anyone looking would've known he wasn't in his best shape. His dark rimmed eyes blankly stared at the yelling man.

"You know they won't, Evan. I should've gone with them when they offered me-"

"What Yu!? What did they offer you? And at what expense? Your family? Your friends!?"

Yu closed his eyes shut, relieving the stinging sensation of his dry eyes. His chapped lips trembled.

"Give us the Maruyama's family's ledger and the list of all involved, testify and we'll put you in witness protection. You won't have to worry about your life anymore. Start anew."

Yu remembered sneering at the suggestion on his hospital bed, before a man named Lin Zi Hong ever stepped into his life. The two detectives were sputtering nonsense, Yu thought. Yu knew, his life was worth more with the information sealed. The list of Chinese and Taiwanese ministers and conglomerates whom had vowed allegiance, and the list of all the heinous crimes that made them bowed to Oyabun in the first place. And the ledger, wrote in detail the in and out of the cryptocurrency, a form of money laundering through the exchange of virtual currencies, gained from various means of lawful and unlawful activities of the Maruyama clan.

Having the largest network in and outside of Japan, Maruyama was a name to be feared of in the common and political world but Oyabun decided to put a stop to the illegal activities. He wanted his 'children' to be righteous businessmen. He wouldn't want the death of his trusted partner happened to the any of the others too. But as a matter of course, doing so required something in return. Being righteous means no more easy money. The objectives that needed years of planning and careful strategies were shared with Yu, the only one that had kept his hands clean despite being raised in the family from his crawling age.

Yu was happy. He was excited and out of his excitement he made a mistake. He told every plan to a man, save for the fact that Oyabun had him keep the files for safekeeping.

Machida.

The man had worked too hard, he was too close. He was the first lieutenant of the group despite his young age. Yu wasn't aware of all the things he had done to reach that stage or maybe Yu wasn't willing to know. The man was too kind, too gentle, yet too wicked. With his own hand, he had Oyabun killed and took the place he thought was rightfully his but the files were still missing; the files that could escalate or destroy his newly obtained position. So he lied, and the other brothers bowed to him out of fear he would cross them too.

"Please, just go." Yu asked, his voice toneless.

"We'll find him and when we do, you'll need the strength to face him. So please, have a bite." Evan took the tray of steamed rice and minced meat on the table and placed in on the floor near Yu. He had been doing this since that day they found Yu. Like Machida, they also thought that Yu was dead in the accident and through following Machida for a few months that they found out that he's alive.

Find him? Yu knew Machida was no longer in the country. Yu knew Machida would flee to Japan when he failed to capture him. Afterall, Japan was his turf, like he knew how Taiwan would be Yu's once Yu made use of his information. He'd be an idiot to not run.

Yu clutched his shirt over his chest. His fractured ribs had healed a few weeks back but why did it still hurt?

"Go. It's not a request."

It always took two times for Evan to follow his order. Once Evan bowed and took his leave reluctantly, Yu took out the crumpled piece of newspaper peeking from under his bed. The writings had gone blurry, some parts were already torn apart but the headline on the front page was still clear.

Robbery gone wrong,
young neurosurgeon stabbed to death.

He hugged his knees closer, swaying back and forth and taking deep breath in the attempt to hold his tears in. He was sad but he was angrier. Angry at Machida for ruining his life, angry at Sam for leaving him and angry at himself for being selfish, for thinking he could save everyone when the fact is, he couldn't save the one that mattered the most. He held the almost limp paper on his chest, refusing to believe that it had all ended. That it ended in his own hand.

He looked through the large glass door leading to the open lawn surrounded by tall stone walls. The red oak trees higher than the walls themselves were starting to turn redder as the weather was getting warmer. The falling leaves reminded him of the time Sam took him on one of his walking therapy session out in the park. Walking in the park scared him at first, he always thought that somebody could found and followed him but Sam was eager and too thrilled at the thought of bringing him out of the house for fresher air and whatnot.

"I think your legs are taking longer to heal cause you don't have enough energy. Look at you, you are too skinny."

"Mm.."

"You need to eat more so that your body can build muscles faster."

"Mm."

"What? You don't believe me? I'm a doctor okay."

"I.. Of course I believe you."

"But it's the third time I've said this but I haven't seen you finish one bowl of rice."

"Uumm. I'll try harder?"

"You don't sound confident. Fine then, I'll just hand you over to Ray, he might be a better-"

"No! I'll try harder!"

With a bitter smile, Yu pulled the tray of now cold lunch towards him.Sitting on the dinner table with empty chairs around felt too foreign and toolonely so he settled on eating on the floor. Yu sat on his calves, picked upthe bowl and chopsticks to have his meal. But he put down the bowl after threespoonful. Instead of chewing on the food, he started chewing on his lips. Hesniffled quietly. He didn't know what hurts worse, the fact that even eatingreminded him of Sam or the fact that he knew, even he if cried the tears ofblood, Sam wouldn't be there to wipe them for him.