will you still love me???- a Louis Tomlinson fan fiction.

Chapter one

"How could you do this to me?. I left for 2 months on tour and I come home to find you in bed with him!".

Eleanor didn't flinch. She just stared at me with an ice cold expression that told me everything she wasn't saying.

I felt the bile rising in my throat. I had to get out of there. I had to run. I had to do something. My feet felt like lead. My breaths leaving me hurriedly and in short gasps. It felt like a knife twisting in my side and I rushed to formulate the only sentance I could think of.

He was now laying beside her. A smile playing on his lips. 

"Well, I hope the two of you will be very happy together". It was the only thing I could think of to say. I picked up my jacket and left; the faintest whisper leaving my lips as I went, "I waited for you. I guess you couldn't wait for me!".

I didn't wait for a reply. I just saw her mouth opening and closing as if she was going to say something but had changed her mind at the last moment. I slammed the door shut and walked out into the cold, night. I stopped, sank to my knees and cried. I was never normally one to cry. I tended to keep things bottled up inside. Three years we had been together. Three years of Eleanor and me. All the times, we had said I love you to each other. All the memories and.....

Oh god, Louis, stop torturing yourself. She made her bed and I found her shagging someone else in it.

I started walking. I didn't care where my feet were taking me. Anywhere but here. Cardiff wasn't my first choice to live. Eleanor had loved it from when we had played some gigs there at the motor point arena. She always said she had wanted to get married at castell coch. The red castle, she kept telling me. I had to admit, it looked just like the castle out of the disney films.

I realised I had just walked out of there without even raising my voice. I started to think of all the things I should have said to her and to the bastard beside her. He had been smiling, yes smiling. As if he had won first prize at the local fair. Well, he can keep her. I wondered how long she had been seeing him behind my back. How many times they had made love in my bed, our bed. Did she love him?. Did she ever love me?. I praised myself for not ripping his head off. Well my mum always told me not to worry about the little things.

Stop it, I lectured myself, then realised I was talking to myself. Hey, it's ok if I'm in my own world as long as they know me there.

I stopped and looked around. That's where I need to be. The bright neon glow of the pub sign caught my eye and I found myself walking over. It was enticing me. Willing me forward.Time to drown my sorrows. Block out the thoughts and the images that wouldn't stop going through my mind. That's it. I'll bury them where they can't come back to haunt me.

I hadn't drank seriously in ages. The last time had been the Christmas do Harry had thrown at the hilton hotel. I can't even remember to this day how I ended up in Roath park, semi naked and hugging a traffic cone. The boy's certainly didn't let me forget though. They posted the pictures on Facebook and Twitter. I didn't live that one down for weeks.

The boys!. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and went to dial Harry's number. Then I realised how late it was and gently slipped it back into my pocket. It can wait till tomorrow. I'll drive up to London in the morning. I can always stay tonight in a hotel.

I found a dark corner of the pub and drink in hand, I sat and drank. The same line of lyrics kept going through my head, "some drink to remember, some drink to forget!". Well, here I was forgetting.

I don't know how long I sat there for. An hour, maybe two. I measured it by the number of pints that I drank. Ok, maybe I had drank enough. No, I have drunk enough as the room started to spin. I knew what I was doing was wrong. I should have called the guys. Told them what had happened. Told them to come and get me. Take me back to London. They would have known what to do. They would have helped me to forget. Maybe the alcohol wasn't the best idea. I hadn't eaten anything which didn't help and then everything went black. The last thought I remember was "sweet release!".