Regret

Spear of Demise (Edith)

I don't understand. I just don't freaking understand. I tried to kill her so many times I've hurt her...why the hell would she save me?? She could've let that stupid monster end me and then killed it. But she didn't, she even thought someone like me was worthy of saving. I don't get it, I just don't freaking get it. Is that girl dense or some shit??

I ain't gonna lie. I was indeed crying, but it wasn't because I was sad. I was crying a mixture of anger, confusion, and a tiny bit of happiness.

Why happiness? Because she seemed dead serious about what she said, and if she really was telling the truth...

Then it would be the first time in my entire shitty ass life that someone actually freaking cared.

I noticed Sana's friend again, just sitting outside of the building where her dorm is.

I walk up to her. Why? I don't freaking know, but I just have a feeling if I ask her again, even if she did already answer me, if she repeats her answer, then what Sana said has to be true, and that she really did save me because she thought I deserved help.

I had to keep asking the question. My brain just couldn't comprehend someone risking their life for mine just because they didn't want me to die.

"Hey," She says, backing up a bit.

"Don't bother," I tell her. "I ain't gonna push you into a wall."

"You're not?"

I shake my head.

"No, I'm not. And even if I wanted to, I can't."

"Why not?"

"Cause that creep threatened to kill me if I even touched you."

"Creep? Oh you mean Violet. I guess that makes sense, she is one confusing girl."

"Tell me about it," I agreed, sitting beside her.

"I mean she saves me so many times but she acts like she hates me. Saying I shouldn't become a magica and whatever...I don't know it's weird."

"Well when I spoke with her she told me it was because your magical potential is dangerously high, meaning you'll probably cause a shit ton of damage if you become a magica. Maybe she thinks you won't know how to control it?"

"She told me that a while ago, saying I'll just screw everything up...but...I just don't see that as the reason...maybe part of it but I don't believe it's the main reason. Like maybe I can control it. If I have the power to alter the universe, you would think I would have control over it, right? Maybe it is a jealousy thing and she thinks highly of herself...or maybe it's something else? I don't know."

The girl shakes her head then looks at me.

"But enough of that, why did you come here? You obviously need or want something."

"I'll ask this one more time. Did Sana really save me because she thought I needed it or was it due to selfish desires?"

The girl stands up from her spot, shaking her head in the process.

"Sana and I aren't on good terms, but if I know anything about her, it's that when it comes to saving people, it's never out of selfish reason. So whatever she told you...she's telling the truth."

I look at her for a second before standing up.

"I guess it's settled then. Your friend is really strange. And once you two are talking to each other again...tell her I said thanks, I can't do it myself, so you'll have to do it for me."

"Don't worry, I will."

She smiles at me and walks inside the building. It was late so I decided to head back to my own apartment.

As I woke up the next morning I could hear birds and crickets chirping. It was morning yet the sky was still a bit dark.

I get up from my bed and head outside.

I didn't know what to do today, fight tristitias? Maybe later, don't feel like doing that shit right now. So I guess I'll just take a walk around the city, I mean why the hell not?

I walked through the city, my hands in my pocket and my hair held up in a high ponytail. I even bought myself a bag of small fuji apples on the way.

There were a ton of people walking the streets, and a couple of cars driving by. But I ignored them. I didn't care about them whatsoever.

Well that was until a small child came up to me and tugged on my sweatshirt.

He looked no more than 5 or 6 years of age. His blonde hair was a mess and he was crying.

I didn't want to bother with him so I just, as gently as I could, removed his grip.

"Please don't touch me, I ain't the type of person to offer help."

"The apples you have...can I have some...please? My family needs food...we don't have any money and they're really sick."

The child began crying, causing me to be annoyed. I wasn't good with this type of shit. But he looked like he needed the apples more than I did.

I let out an irritated sigh and gave him the bag.

"Here, just take the whole thing."

"Really??"

"Yeah. Now go before I change my mind."

The kid looks up at me and whimpers a small "thank you", before running off.

"Well that's highly unlikely of you," I hear someone say.

It's that black haired girl.

"Why did you give the kid you're food?"

"Because it was the right thing?"

"True, but since when do you like doing the right thing?"

"He was just a child, and he was poor, if he were an adult or rich I would've told him to screw off...besides, I...wasn't really that hungry anyways."

"I see so that's how it is."

"The hell you talking about?"

"Edith," She begins. "Was the reason you helped the child, perhaps by any chance, because you saw yourself in him? Because you saw your past?"

I just stare at the girl, not uttering a word.

"That's what I thought."

The girl began leaving, I was still silent.

"Oh and by the way," She says, stopping for a moment. "You should go talk to Sana, she really is trying her best to understand you. I mean who knows, maybe you two can end up being great friends."

The girl walks away, disappearing into the city.

Who the hell does she think she is?? She doesn't know shit about me! Maybe I did want to do something good for once?? I have the choice to do whatever the hell I want! Stupid freak.

I continue my walk through the city, stopping here and then to look at the scenery. Afterwards I decided to do some fighting.

I wanted to kill each tristitia I came across as quickly as possible. Why? Because I didn't want any savings. Especially from her.

I mean I've been doing this shit for 11 years, and that bitch ain't nothin but a beginner. Her saving me is down right embarrassing. I won't let it happen again.

Though, I do have to admit...I appreciated the help, even if I am way better at this then she is...the fact that she...

I shake the thought out of my mind.

Don't go soft now dammit! So she saved you! Big freaking deal! But...

I let out a sigh.

I guess her friend won't thank her for me so I'll have to do it myself. Besides, I may not be fond with this bitch, but...if what that black-haired girl said is right...about this particular tristitia...then I guess I'll have to work alongside Sana. After all, I can't let one stupid fight with her get in the way of defeating a powerful tristitia. We may be different but we have the same goal as magica, which is to kill those monsters born from the darkness.