Regret

Last Resort (Edith)

[TW - mentions of past child abuse]

We make our way back to the concert hall. I transform and pull out a spear to slice open a portal, not long after, we venture in.

    "Alright, here's the plan. I'll start fighting her while you stand in a safe distance and try talking to her, got it?"
    "Got it."

    We make it to the center of the latitat. It was dark for a moment, until the stage lights came on and the floor covered itself in mist.
    Then the monster appeared, emerging from the ground.

    "That's Sana??" Kate asks.
    "It's what she became."

    I pull out a spear and begin attacking.
    "Remember the plan Kate."
    "Oh right! Sana it's us! Edith and your best friend, Kate!" She shouts. "Remember us? Me and you go to the same school together! Well...went to the same school together."
    "C'mon Sana!" I yell. "Please remember us!"

    It still wasn't enough, she kept fighting back. In fact, her attacks were getting worse. It was getting harder to dodge and fight at the same time.

    Oh, I think I understand now. You still have a bit of anger in ya. Heh, you're seriously still mad because you lost a fight against me? That was a long ass time ago, you should be over it already...but, if you really are still mad, get over it soon, and come back to us...please?

    I continued fighting when a giant cd hit the side of my chest, knocking me back towards Kate, a huge gash formed on my arm in the process.
    "Edith! Are you okay??"
    My arm was bleeding, there was a deep cut in it's spot, and my ribs were completely shattered. I wasn't okay, but I had to keep fighting.
    "I'm fine," I lie.
    "But your side, it's bleeding. You're obviously hurt."
    "Hurt? Please," I scoff. "I've gotten injuries way worse. This ain't nothin but a paper cut to me."
    "Maybe we should leave."
    "No! We can get her back!"

    I struggle to get up off the ground and form another spear. I stood there and watched for a moment, holding my arm, and breathing shallowly and quickly.
    It wasn't until the creature grabbed Kate and began squeezing her that I knew I had to attack again.

    "Sana please," Kate says, her voice strained. "Please stop."

    I quickly healed myself to the point where I could breathe normally.  I then quickly run up to the creature and slice off her arm, releasing Kate in the process.

    "Damn it Sana!" I shout. "You told us you became a magica to protect others! To save them! What the hell happened to that?"

    She knocks me back with her other arm then stomps the ground, causing it to collapse and causing all of us to fall.

    At that moment, all my memories came flooding back. Memories of my past that I wanted to bury but could never accomplish it. They flooded my vision, and it was like I was a child again, with my family.

    "No stop! Leave them alone, they did nothing wrong!" I shouted, trying my best to hold back tears, I needed to stay strong for my younger brother and sister.
    Then I was hit...hard...and I passed out. The two thieves had knocked me unconscious with a crowbar, and they probably did the same to everyone else.

    Then another vision occurred.

    "Mom! Please! Let me in! it's so cold!"
    "If the cold bothers you, how the hell can you protect us? Filthy piece of shit. It was a mistake having you. Everyone would be better off if you were never born, or if you were dead." She spat.

    My mothers words tore through my heart. I was reliving my past. All the painful memories wouldn't go away.
    My mother hated me. She despised me so much she wanted to kill me, and she tried so many times.

    I was poisoned. I was electrocuted, I was burned, I was even torn apart limb from limb while being fully conscious, she wanted me to feel everything until my last breath.
    But I kept healing, and getting better. So she made the torture even worse, until she finally decided to end it all, taking my siblings with her.
    They hated me so much that they would rather die.
I walked the streets with tears running down my face. I cried, begged, screamed for someone to help me, to at least have someone to talk to me, and what did I get in return? Rocks, they threw rocks at me because they believed my mother when she told them that I was a demon. I was bruised so badly.
    I wanted to die. I just wanted to end my life. What was the point? I'm all alone with no one but myself. Everyone hates me. I didn't choose to be born in a shitty area, I just wanted to help and this is what I get in return? Why?
    Why the hell was I even born?

    For 11 years I was on my own, no one to talk to about my problems, my feelings. They wouldn't listen anyways. And even if I told them, they would just betray me, or treat me like I was less than human.
    Then I met her. Sana.
    I despised her at first. She was just like me when I was younger and I wanted to kill her for it.
    Then things started changing. I was growing more fond of her, I actually enjoyed being around her. She made me feel things I couldn't describe.
    Because in that short moment we hung out together, even if it was for a short moment, I didn't feel alone anymore. I felt as if I could tell her anything and she wouldn't leave me or betray me.
    And now that person, the only one I had a chance of becoming close with, was now gone.

    The memories faded as I came back into my current reality. Falling through the latitat as I felt tears fall upwards.

    This can't be it...This can't be the end. My whole life was pure shit. Filled with misery and agony.
Just once, please, that's all I ask...let me have just one happy dream.

    We finally land on the ground, the impact causing me to become covered in bruises, and causing the ribbon in my hair to be torn out.
I struggle to get up and pull out one more spear before transforming back.

    "Edith, what are you doing?"
    I walk over to Kate and slice open a portal back to the outside world.
"Go back. I can handle it from here."
    "But what about"
    "I'll be okay," I interrupt. "You'll only get yourself killed if you remain."
    "Are you gonna bring her back? Did you find a way?"
    "Just go!" I shout, ignoring her question.

    Without saying anything else, Kate exits the latitat and the portal closes. I then take my lipana and begin to force every last bit of energy into it.

    There was no other way. Even if I killed her normally, it wouldn't be long before I too became a tristitia. After all, my gem was darkened by all the fighting, and I had no way to heal myself.
   
    After placing everything I had left of me into my gem, I placed it on the ground. The gem began glowing brightly and the latitat began falling apart.

    "Loneliness sucks, doesn't it Sana? Believe me I know the feeling all too well. But I can assure you those feelings won't last much longer. We'll have each other, I'll always be right there with you...I promise."

My gem finally shatters and an explosion is finally set off. Killing us both.