Regret

Puella A Posterum (Kate)

[A/N - We're back to the original timeline or present moment]

Entering my dorm was...difficult. Usually I would see Sana lying on her bed, or would wait for her to come by...but that's not going to happen now that she's gone.

I lie down on my bed and stare up at the ceiling.

Why? Does the universe hate me that much that I end up alone...I mean...I still have Violet but...that's right, she's the only one left...perhaps I should visit her, but first, I should visit my family, I haven't seen them in a while.

Before I came to Nuverseri, I was raised in uptown Lumenast, not too far from the Safe Center.

This would be the first time I visit them since freshman year of highschool. It would be nice to see how they're doing.

My family lives in a decent sized apartment on the 5th floor. My aunt, cousin, and brothers all live together, along with my mom and dad.
I have two brothers, one in his 20s and the other had just turned 5. I get along with them pretty well, but I get along with my cousin very well.
She's like a sister to me, she's only a year older than my younger brother. We love doing things together, such as painting our nails, doing our hair, and coloring.

I ended up staying with my family for two days. I told them what had happened with Sana, well, I told them the same thing I told Cheryl. I also told them Violet, or...I told them that she was interesting...

"How she interesting?" My younger brother asks. Sitting next to me on the couch, along with my cousin.

Kyle is my younger brother, he has brown eyes similar to mine and fluffy dark brown hair.
"She just is," I reply. "It's hard to explain since I don't see her often."
"Are you Fwends?" Quinn asks.

Quinn is the name of my cousin. She has hazel eyes, like my father, and has blonde hair, like my mother.

I look down at her and shrug with a smile.
"I'm not really sure, to be honest."

That whole battle she was talking about is only 3 days away...there's no way she's planning to fight that thing on her own is there?

I get up from the couch to put on my shoes and jacket.

"Where's big sis going?" Asks Kyle.
"Just out somewhere," I reply, smiling. "I'll be back soon, okay?"
"Okay! Have fun!"

Both Kyle and Quinn wave goodbye to me as I head down to see Violet.

Should I seriously be doing this? Even when I mention about becoming a magica she gives me that look...a look that's like a "don't even think about it" look. Am I making a mistake here?

I shake my head as I knock on her door.

No. I'll get the truth out of her one way or another. I deserve to know.

After a minute, Violet finally opens the door.

"Hey, cool if we talk?" I ask.

She steps out of the way and gestures her hand for me to come in.

"I assume you're here to talk about Valenstia," She states.
"Uh, yeah, about that...are you serious about fighting it on your own?"
"Yes, I am."
"Oh, really? Cause I was thinking, maybe I can help."

She turns and looks at me. Her eyes piercing right through my soul.
"You don't listen well do you? You promised me you wouldn't become one."

I look to the ground and sigh.
"I know, but if you would just tell me why I would leave you alone. Please, tell me the truth and I won't bother you about this anymore."

I pause.

"Look, I know you're strong, you saved me plenty of times...but, I don't believe you when you say you can beat this monster on your own. I'm sorry for doubting you, but I just can't believe anything you're saying unless you tell me the truth."

She brings her gaze to the ground, clenching her fist.

"Why?" She asks. "Why should I tell you the truth? Even if I did you wouldn't believe a word I say."
    "What do you mean?" I ask, tilting my head. "Violet, after everything that's happened, I'll believe you, I promise."

    There was a moment of silence before she finally spoke.

    "Fine, you want the truth?"

    Still looking at the floor, she walks up to me and stops. Her breathing seemed funny, like she was trying her best not to cry.
    She brings her head up and meets her eyes with mine. They were red and full of tears.

    She's crying? But why? I hope it wasn't something I said, I didn't mean to make her cry.

    "I'm sorry," She says, her voice breaking. "I'm so sorry."
    "Vi, what's wrong? Why are you"

    I was interrupted when she pulled me closer and wrapped her arms around me.

    "I try so hard to save you...but everytime you make a wish I have to watch you die over and over," She states, her voice shaking. "Everytime this fight came, you always ended up saving me, even if I didn't deserve it...you still came to help me."

    She pauses to take a few shaky breaths.

    "200 times," She begins once again. "200 times I had to watch you suffer in agony. I don't want that, I don't want that to happen anymore. I wanted to redo everything so I could save you, not to watch you in pain."

    She pulls herself away from me. Her tears caused her brown eyes to sparkle.

    "There's your answer, my wish was to meet you all over again so I could save you from despair."

    I look at her, unable to think of anything to say.

    "I get it...to you I'm just some random stranger that appears out of nowhere, but you..."

    She stops as she begins crying a bit.

    "We used to be so close...it sucks, everytime I go back, your memory of me fades into nothing, you don't remember a thing about me and it's a painful thing to feel, it's like I don't even exist anymore. Do you realize how much that hurts? To know that your best friend has no recollection of you?"

    She pauses once more, this time taking in a few heavy, yet shaky, breaths.

"Back then when I envisioned our future we were both alive and happy, but now? all I see is your lifeless bodily, mutaled, and I am all alone. Do you realize how messed up it is? No matter how hard I try that's all I see...either you dead or in despair, or me all alone, with no one but the dark to comfort me, in a world where no one and nothing exists."

She wipes her tears a bit, a small, miserable smile.

    "But that's okay. Because if it means you get a happy ending, I'll be fine with erasing myself from your world. I will protect you Kathleen, I promise, I'll save you, and nothing's gonna stop me from doing that. Not even fate will stop me."