Flutter |h.s|

prologue

Grace

I always believed I would have this fantastic life. That after graduating, I would have my dream job lined up. That my boyfriend would propose after 3 years of dating. We wouldn't get married yet since he would still have law school to get through. I had it all planned out. It was the perfect life. 

But life isn't perfect. 

There's a reason it's called a dream job. It never comes true. My parents always told me film school was a waste of time and money and that I should have become a teacher or something. Maybe I should have listened. Now I have a film degree and no plans for the future. 

When Jesse asked me to a nice dinner tonight, I was sure this was it. He was proposing. We've talked about it so many times, there was no way it wasn't happening. Even Holly was convinced he was popping that important question. 

Those words he uttered across the table, over our chocolate cake dessert and bottle of wine, didn't register in my brain at first. He couldn't have meant it. 

"I think we should end things." 

My glossy, blue eyes are on him. He's talking but nothing is reaching my ears. There was no ring waiting for me. No happy ending. Just disappointment after disappointment. 

I need to get out of here. 

My chest tightens as I scan the restaurant, looking for the quickest escape. He's still talking, trying in vain to make things better. Explaining how he loves me still, but if he did we wouldn't be here right now. 

In the middle of his speech I rise to my feet, the napkin on my lap falling abruptly to the ground. I grab my bag from the side of the chair, slinging it over my shoulder before following the path of least resistance. He's calling my name behind me to come sit back down, but he makes no effort to follow me. 

Everyone's staring at me, or at least it feels like it. I can't cry yet, I just have to make it to the car. But the tears are threatening to spill over. 

It makes sense now why he had me meet him here instead of picking me up. He was planning to break up with me for three days, all while seemingly being in love with me. He had me fooled. 

The warm June air hits my face once I plow through the exit. My empty hand blindly reaches into my bag in search of my keys and phone. Thankfully it's dark out still, so nobody can see the tears falling down my cheeks. 

I'm half expecting to feel his hand against mine, stopping me from leaving. I want him to realize this is a mistake or say it was a joke. I almost want the past few months to just be a bad dream that I'll wake up from. But I don't wake up, despite how hard I pinch myself. 

It takes me getting into the car to realize he's not chasing after me. This isn't a movie after all. Reality has a way of slapping you in the face. 

More tears fall as I race away, desperate to be as far as possible from that restaurant. The location my soul was crushed. Once I'm far enough away, I pull over into an empty parking lot. 

Holly answers my call right away, but her reaction just twists the knife in more. Killing me. 

"Oh my god! Is the ring perfect?" she asks the second she picks up. 

The sobs that leave my mouth sound almost inhumane. Every painful feeling I kept pent up the past few weeks finally releasing. 

I've always followed every rule, got good grades in school, had perfect manners, tried to follow my heart. All that's gotten me is student loan debt, a strained relationship with my parents, no plans for the future, and now a broken heart. 

"Grace! What happened?" The sound of concern heavy in her voice. 

"H-He-" I try, but the words won't come out. They're like poison on my tongue. 

"Where are you? Are you still at the restaurant? Are you guys safe?" There's shuffling in the background, most likely her getting ready to leave to find me. 

The words finally leave my lips after what feels like hours of trying. "He dumped me."

The line goes quiet. The only sound between us is my sniffling and crying. Never in a million years did I think it would end like this. This wasn't supposed to be how my life went. 

"Gracie, text me your location, I'm gonna come get you. And when we get home we're gonna book plane tickets to get out of here for a few weeks. Okay?" 

I pull my phone away from my ear to send my location, the tears blurring my vision and making it hard to see. 

After about thirty minutes of sitting in the car with Holly consoling me over the phone, she finally gets to the parking lot I'm in. She opens the drivers side door to my car, hugging me tight. She gently reaches over, shutting my car off and taking the keys before helping me out and into her own. 

As she drives us to the apartment, I look out the window, tears silently falling. The feeling of numbness finally starting to set in. It's a better feeling than heartache. 

"We can leave next week. We'll go to Europe and just travel all over for three weeks. We'll go, get all new clothes before we leave, if you want to shave all your hair off, I'm totally in support." Holly tries her best to make me feel better. 

But nothing will. 

Never again will I love something. It's only proven to hurt me in the long run and completely crush my spirit. It's stupid to follow your heart. I need to be realistic. Life isn't like a fairytale. 

I was stupid to believe it was.