Flutter |h.s|

25

Grace

The sound of the ocean is so peaceful. Just the constant, soothing crash of the waves against the shore.

I look out to the ocean from the balcony, hugging my knees to my chest. Sleep is impossible tonight. My mind is too full.

Full of hurt and anger for Harry about his fans. Of sadness that he has to live a life giving up his privacy. Of butterflies thinking about his lips against my forehead.

Everyone's already gone to bed, including Holly. So I came out to the balcony to just let my mind wander for once. This whole trip has been so crazy and I can't believe it's not even close to being over.

I sigh, resting my chin on my knees as I watch the ocean.

I want Harry so badly. I want his arms around me, his lips against my skin. I want his green eyes to look into mine. I want to hear my name fall off his lips. Every time he says it it's like I'm hearing that word for the first time.

He didn't acknowledge the forehead kiss, which could only mean he didn't think much of it. If he thought it was inappropriate he would have apologized. But it must have been just a friendly gesture. I mean, I kiss Holly's cheeks all the time.

I take a long sip from the soda bottle I'm still nursing. The party was okay, not as fun as the one in Paris though. We were all kind of tired and called it a night after an hour. I couldn't really get into it much because of the whole kiss thing.

His lips are so plump. And so soft. I would have never expected a kiss like that to come from him, and now all I could think about is his lips on mine. I wonder what they taste like. Probably gum since he's always got a stick of it in his mouth.

I shouldn't be thinking about him like this. He's just gonna end up hurting me. Ripping my heart out and stomping all over it.

It's so stupid to think this would ever work out. Okay, so we start dating during this trip? Then what? I go home to New York, he goes home to London and we have a long distance thing? Those never work out. Plus he's famous. If he could have anyone he wanted, why would he choose to be with someone thousands of miles away?

Why would he choose to be with me?

I'm nothing special. I look like any other girl with dark hair and blue eyes. If he wants someone like that he doesn't need to look too far.

Before I could continue putting myself down further, Holly's opening the sliding door. "Gracie? Why are you still up?" she asks.

I sigh a bit, shrugging. "Couldn't sleep." I mumble, looking down at the bottle in my hands. She closes the door behind her, going to sit on the lounger across from me.

"Wanna talk?" she asks.

I'm quiet for a minute, looking out at the ocean.

"I can't believe we're in Barcelona. That seems so fake to say. We're in Barcelona in Spain." I say, glancing over to her.

She nods, "I know. I had a moment like that yesterday. We were walking after dinner and I just looked back at the Eiffel Tower and just took it all in." she says.

"Paris was beautiful. It was my favorite so far for sure." I smile a bit.

As chaotic Paris felt, I loved it more than anything. I'd definitely want to come back and spend time over there. I can't imagine any other city being so amazing and magical.

"How are you feeling about Jesse?" she asks, sitting back to watch the waves with me.

I sigh a bit, staying quiet for a minute. Might as well tell her. "Jesse texted me the other night."