Flutter |h.s|

29

Grace

"So did you go to a lot of college parties?" Harry asks, smiling at me.

We've been talking the entire flight to Vienna so far. My hand in his, I can't stop smiling. He's just so perfect.

It's been silly little talk, like getting to know each other more. It's been fun learning more about him and his past. He's definitely led a really full life.

"Yeah, definitely. Holly liked to throw parties at the apartment too. I didn't do much drinking the first few years, as Eli told you back in Dublin. But those parties were so much fun. People from every different college would come." I explain,

He smiles, leaning his head back against the back of his chair, "That sounds like so much fun. I'm sure you guys had a blast."

"For sure. But I mean, they must be nothing compared to the big fancy parties you must go to. I mean, you probably party with the best of the best."

"Eh, they're okay. Sometimes they could get a little stressful because you see stuff you're not supposed to and then everything just gets awkward." He shrugs, looking down at our hands.

He let me hold onto his hand for take off, but we just never let go of each other. Our fingers are all interlocked with each other and every once in a while his thumb will gently stroke against my hand. For such big hands, they're so delicate with every touch.

"Ah, so you get to see all the cheaters but you can't expose them? Eh, just a glorified college party with higher stakes. Probably with less chugging and shotgunning beers." I joke.

He chuckles a bit, nodding. "Exactly. I would have rather just had more fun."

I smile, holding his hand tight. My hand fits into his perfectly, like pieces of a puzzle. We've been sitting like this for the past hour and I have no intention of letting go anytime soon. I would super glue our hands together if I could.

Holly and Elias are like ten rows in front of us right now, but Holly's gone to the bathroom like ten times since we got into the air, obviously so she could check up on the two of us. But even as she walks past, we keep our hold on each other.

My eyes catch hers as she walks past. She glances down at our hands, eyes widening a bit as she sees we're still holding on. Harry's too focused on our hands, studying the way they look together, so he doesn't notice Holly.

She mouths, "Still?", but I just roll my eyes and look back at Harry, smiling.

I've never felt like I could trust someone with my past. Jesse knew the surface level stuff, but I never told him more than that. But I know with Harry, he'll make sure to give me the safest space possible to talk about my past.

He doesn't side with my parents. He doesn't pry and demand more information from me. He lets me go at my own pace. I'll never be able to thank him enough for the way he's handled me.

I surprised myself when I kissed his cheek. It was a thoughtless action and I didn't know it was happening until my lips were on his cheek. The feeling of his skin and stubble against my lips was weird at first. But in a good way.

It felt like I could do that again and again for the rest of my life.

Now's the perfect opportunity to admit my feelings to Harry. Holly and Elias are out of ear shot, we're both happy and not actively upset over an ex or our pasts. But the thought of things changing is scaring me. Once I admit that, things would never be the same ever again.

And if he doesn't feel the same way about me, it would be the worst feeling in the world.

But I need to try at some point. And this might be our only moment alone for a while.