Live to fight and fight to live

21 // feelings

It was a new day and I was finding it really hard to process everything that we've found out in the last couple of weeks and now that we had even bigger responsibilities, the boys have both been pretty quiet since they got to their new home and honestly I wouldn't blame them especially after what they have been through, it would be hard to trust people, so not only did we have a bigger family to provide for we also had to somehow gain their trust which hopefully shouldn't be too hard.

There was only really one person I wanted to hang out with and that was Casey but he still wanted and needed time to think things through and that one day he only spent with me was because I needed a friend and he was nice enough to be there but I also had some catching up to do with our new brothers.

So I walked downstairs to notice everyone was already here, Alex and Ryder were both cuddled up on the lounge watching tv quiet as a mouse while jackson and jade were playing on the floor and sasha and Mitchell were talking in the kitchen
"Goodmorning fambam" I yelled out
Everyone said Goodmorning besides the boys, I wanted to get them out of their shell so bad so I decided to go sit down next to them
"Would you two like to do anything today?" I asked
Alex jusg shook his head as Ryder stayed quiet so maybe it was going to be harder than I thought I took a deep breath and made my way over to Mitch and sash
"This is gonna be harder then I thought" I said leaning my elbows on the kitchen hence
"Yep" sasha replied
"But we can't give up" Mitchell said as sasha and I nodded our heads.

So I got the paper with information of the boys out to see if it said what their favourite movie was and it was both Spider-Man they must be like us more than I realise and adventures so I walked back into the lounge room and out Spider-Man on and there faces both lit up but still didn't dare to say a word at least they were happy I think, everyone soon joined us on the lounge watching the movie, Mitchell even prepared popcorn for all of us.

I was enjoying the time with our new big family but my mind was elsewhere during the whole movie I kept checking my phone to see if I had a message from that one person that never came.

I didn't understand why I couldn't get casey black out of my head when I was just trying to get to know my new brothers, I couldn't stop thinking about him needing space and time to sort things out for himself and then I also couldn't stop thinking about our amazing day we had, I felt like we really connected on that day but then reality hit me hard in the ass and it came back to me that he wanted space and as much as I liked him and wanted to tell him how I felt now that I knew myself I just missed him as a friend.

After the movie finished I went up to my room to lay down while all the kids were finally playing together downstairs, my head was racing so fast I couldn't even keep up with it there was so much bullshit that has been going on in my life lately and I just needed a break from it all.

As I thought about messaging casey to see if we could hang out I heard his laugh from outside my room, that laugh I would be able to recognise anywhere so I got up and opened my door to see if I was just hearing things but nope casey and Mitchell were out the front of his room talking and laughing, it kind of hurt a little that Casey cane over to see Mitchell and not me but at the end of the day they were bestfriend and I was probably jusg some girl to him, as I was about to shut my door he saw me and said "hey Johnson" I couldn't help but smile "hey Black"
"Wanna hang with us" he replied which could be for surprise since he did wanted space and all but maybe he changed his mind but he didn't tell me that
"Sure" I said as I walked over to where they were standing
"So you got two new family members hey?" Casey said as we walked into Mitchell's room
"Sure do"
"How do you feel about that?"
"Honestly I'm still unsure on it all I just hope it goes well and we can do it" I said honestly
"I'm sure you will be able to do it after all your Taylor Johnson" he said making me blush I tried to hide it but he obviously notice it didn't he pushed me gently making me smile once more.

This is what I missed being able to hang out with him and talk to him but we also couldn't just ignore our feelings since we both knew they were there he just needed more time to figure out what it was than I did.

The boys both started playing xbox while I just laid down and watched, sometimes even staring at casey fuck he was hot when he was tense, he noticed me staring and gave me one of his famous cheeky smirks which made me roll my eyes and giggle, what was this guy doing to me?
"Y'all need to get your shit together" Mitchell said out of nowhere making me confused as hell
"Ugh what?" I snapped
"Everyone can see that you two like each other even if you both can't see it so talk it out with each other and stop playing dumb"
Casey laughed while I'm as speechless how did he even know how could he tell??
"But break my sisters heart and I'll break your face" Mitchell said breaking the silence
"Got it" casey said as I laughed which casey just gave me a death stare for.

Mitchell was right we did need to talk and as much as I didn't want to be the first one to bring it up maybe I needed to so that's what I did "ugh Casey can we please talk"
"Sure" he replied as Mitchell gave me a weird ass look
So off we went to my room to talk in private I honestly didn't know what I was doing and I had no clue on what I was going to say
"What did you want to talk about" Casey asked as we sat on my bed
"Uh Mitchell is right we do need to talk about whatever this is but I jusg want to say I understand you needed space I don't know if you still do but if you do I miss you and being your friend like you're close friend and hanging out with you and shit"

"I know he is right we do need to talk I miss you too and miss being close to you aswell but we can't just ignore these feelings I know I'm a player and I don't know what it is about you but there's something there that I've never felt before I can't deny that and as much as I don't want to get hurt and hurt you I can't get you out of my fucking head" Casey replied

"I know I feel the exact same way and I've only just realised that I like you a lot and I'm always thinking about you I know we both don't want to get hurt but there's one thing if we do give this a shot there's no more girls and if you still want to mess with girls than we have to stay friends and not give this a go I guess it's really all up to you" I said just going with the flow

"I like you a lot tay and I think I'm ready to give this a shot I don't know if I'll be any good at it but I can promise thag there will be no more girls it will only be you" he replied making me smile ear to ear

"So what do we do from here then?" I asked still smiling which made him giggle

"We take it slow go on a few dates and see we're it goes from there"

"I like the sound of that"

"Good so tomorrow? Pick you up at 5" he replied wow he really wasn't messing around

"I'll see you then"

He gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and made his way back to Mitchell's room I can't believe how well that went and the fact that I had my first proper date with Casey Black, all I was hoping that it would all work out and that nether of us would get hurt but if we wanted this as much as we say then it should all be okay.