Live to fight and fight to live

27 // protecting and deaths

My plan was to go straight to my bed after work but that all changed as soon as I walked in to the doors, all the kids were cuddled up crying, sasha was pacing back and forth in front of them and the house was a mess
"What the hell happened here?" I yelled out and as I did so jade ran up to me and didn't let go of my leg
"Our fucking father came back made a mess and took Ryder" sasha yelled back, as if this kid couldn't catch a break
"Your fucking kidding me how did he find us?"
"I got no idea man" sasha replied
"And where's Mitchell!"
"He followed him"
"Fucking alone?" I snapped
"No casey was over when it happened and he said he was gonna call a couple of the boys on the way"
"Is his phone tracking thing on?"
"Yes" sash replied as I checked where he was, he was about an hour away from us
"Stay here with the kids"
"And where are you going?"
"To get my little brother"
"It's too dangerous tay"
"I don't care I promised Ryder nothing bad would happen to him again"
"Fine" sasha replied knowing I wouldn't change my mind.

The whole drive there I was just thinking about the what if's, maybe I shouldn't of gone to work today but how was I suppose to know this was going to happen? I felt like it was my fault and the blame should be on me for not being there, I promised Ryder he was safe and I fucking broke it, I felt guilty and helpless at this point I just wanted my baby brother safe and in my arms again, I didn't care about what could happen to me, I just hope I'm not too late.

When I got there Mitchell was at gun point by our father, Ryder was crying next to Casey and a few other boys, they were doing fucking nothing right now to keep Mitchell safe and I did the only thing I could think of and that was running my own damn father over, at this point I didn't care about what could happen after I ran him over, I had so much anger inside me and I was jusg trying to keep my family safe, how could this fucking happen again?

I got out of the car my whole body was shaking but I knew I did the right thing otherwise it would be my brother laying on the floor, I knew he was capable of killing someone especially his own child
"Don't you ever fucking come near my family again" I said to our father who was still conscious
"You okay?" Mitch asked while everyone else was still standing still in shock of what I just did
"Fine" I replied and walked up to my baby brother crying his eyes out "I'm so sorry" I said to him I didn't know what else to say he didn't reply he just wrapped his little arms around me
I let go and turn to my father again who was still laying on the floor, I didn't quite kill him, jusg made him realise what would happen if he messed with my family
"Next time you come near us it will be much more worse"
"Noticed" he said struggling to get anything else out
"Call his bimbo so she can get his ass to the hospital" I said facing towards the boys, I felt bad for what I did and wanted at least someone to be with him but it sure as hell wasnt going to be me, I wasn't going to be that ruthless and just leave him on the side of the road, the boys nodded and started to call her while my father struggled to speak again "it's pointless"
"Why did you fuck this one up too" I said giving him a smirk
"Yes" he simply replied causing me to evil laugh I turned to the boys that Mitchell called on the way here and told them to take him then but don't go inside they nodded as they took there car with a messed up father.

The drive home was quiet, casey decided to drive since I was shaking and Mitchell was still in shock with everything that just happened and one of the boys drove Mitchell's car back to our place, the only noises that filled the car was my poor brothers little cries, I wanted to take all his pain away but I was still shocked and shaky to even try to comfort him, never once in my life would I think to myself I would even do something like that let alone capable of that.

When we got home I told Mitchell he could explain everything to everyone else because I just couldn't deal with talking about what I just did, Casey decided to stay at our house to make sure we were okay and I didn't even look twice to see where he was or what he was doing I just wanted to be alone in my bedroom, I slammed the bedroom door on my way in and collapsed on my bed and jusg cried my eyes out having flashbacks of every single memory I had of my father and the worse one yet that happened tonight.

I truely thought we were safe from him and they he would never come back but I couldn't help to think the only realise why he did come back to hurt us once more was because shit different go right with his girlfriend because he fucked that up he came to torture us once again, I was pulled out of my thoughts when a knock appeared on my door, was it so damn hard to understand I just wanted to be left alone? I didn't answer but they obviously didn't care and just walked straight in anyways, I let a heavy breathe out only to feel someone climb into bed with me, I knew it was Casey straight away, just by his warm touch, he didn't say anything he just wrapped his warm arms around me and allowed me to cry in peace.

Even though I wanted to be left alone it also felt nice knowing Casey was right beside me, he didn't force me to talk he just wanted me to know that he was there for me and for that I appreciated him, I hadn't stopped shaking until now because Casey's big warm arms was enough to settle down my shaking.

After a while of feeling comfort by Casey's arms I finally found the courage to speak "how did I fuck this up again? I thought we were safe and he came in ruining everything once again" I was still faced away from him not allowing him to see my tears fall
"You didn't fuck anything up princess you couldn't of known this was going to happen but it's over and done with now beautiful" casey replied kissing the back of my head
I didn't reply to what he just said because I didn't know how to explain and talk about all the emotions running through my body at this time, I was scared for once in so damn long, I thought we had everything under control but we didn't and I felt like I failed to protect my family
"I know you don't want to talk about it but just know I'm always here" casey spoke once again, I turned around to face him and I gave him a kiss on the lips before bearing my head in his chest, I felt safe in his arms even after what happened, I felt alone when I wasn't and Casey made me realise I wasn't alone, this had to happen just after I was finally finding my happiness again, my father sure as hell knows how to ruin everything.

That whole night I was tossing and turning, Everytime I was about to fall asleep I had flashbacks back to the side of the road, I was scared to even fall asleep but casey never left my side and I was thankful for that, I'm pretty sure even when I was starting to fall asleep I was crying while sleeping, it's sad how one person that's meant to be family can have this much of an effect on me, I was glad sasha and Mitchell were strong enough to look after the kids right now because I sure as hell wasnt strong, I felt fucking weak to the bones, how was Mitchell like this? He had a damn gun at his head but yet he was downstairs making sure the kids were okay while I was up stairs crying my eyes out.

As much as I feel weak and broken at this moment, as much as I hate what my father did and as much as I was still in shock about what I did, I was still so damn thankful that my family were safe, I know I did what I had to, I had to do what I did so my brother didn't end up dead and so Ryder didn't end up with my father, I knew I did the right thing for my family as much as it's eating me up alive.