Live to fight and fight to live

24 // Casey Blacks POV

After my first actual date with Taylor Johnson, I haven't been able to get her out of my head even though it was like that before the date, that date sparked something inside me seeing her actually happy and enjoying her time with me and seeing her excited about where I took her melted my heart, I've never felt like this before and it was starting to drive me crazy, the last thing I ever wanted to do to her was to hurt her I knew she's already been through a lot even if she hasn't spoken about it to me yet I just knew, I wanted to make her happy and feel special and that's something I thought would never come out of my mouth.

That date I figured out everything I figured out that I like Taylor Johnson and seeing her happy made me the happiest and luckiest man alive that's how I felt anyways, it was like I was a new man she changed me to become a new man.

Taylor wasn't like another chick I've met or slept with, she didn't care about fitting in and all the drama with teenagers these days all she cared about was her family and friends and I admired that about her, I'm a family man as much as that will shock a lot of people because of who I am but family's the most important thing and Taylor will go around the world just for her family and to make sure there all okay, she doesn't dress to impress any one else other than herself, she's rather watch movies than go to a stupid party and get drunk, she's a special kind of girl and for once I don't just want her because of sex I want her for her and who she is.

A knock on my door pulled me out of my thoughts
"Come in" I yelled out and in walked my cousin Gracie, she's only a year younger than me and she's more like a sister than a cousin, she's comes over for about a week every month or so either because her parents work away a lot or because she simply just misses us
"How's my favourite cousin going" she asked as she sat on the end of my bed
"I'm going fine you?"
"Nah what's going on since there's no little snarky comment in there"
I rolled my eyes and said "just shit on my mind"
"Oooh like what?" I knew I wasn't going to be able to not tell her so I just simply said "a girl"
"Wait my cousin casey black is thinking of a girl are you alright"
"Oh shut up" I said punching her lightly on the arm making her laugh
"So do you like this girl?"
I gave her a smile and said "I think I do yeah"
"She must be pretty special than if casey black likes her" which was true she was special
I rolled my eyes at her and said "yeah she really is"
"Just don't fuck it up than case because if you like this girl she's something else and special don't fuck it up and ruin it all if you like her just stay with her and be committed to her only" Gracie said
"I will" I replied
"Good"

I didn't want to fuck this up with Taylor and that's what scared me I can be a fuck up sometimes and do things without thinking but I didn't want to do that to Taylor truth is she did deserve someone much better than me but I couldn't jusg walk away from her without giving it ago and to actually think she has feelings for me aswell is just a shock someone as sweet as her deserves the whole world and more she deserves someone better than me but that won't stop me from trying and getting her.

I wanted to tell Taylor everything I've been through but I didn't know how to and I didn't know if I was ready for that yet even though I knew she deserved to know.

I wanted to do something special for Taylor to ask her to be my girlfriend but I had no clue on what to do that was special and romantic and I also didn't know if I was ready for a relationship just yet even if I knew I liked her maybe a few more dates won't hurt before asking the big questions because I wanted to make sure I was ready so I knew for sure I wouldn't fuck it up and hurt her that's what scared me the most.

I walked downstairs to try and get out of my own head and to see what everyone else was doing, my parents weren't home so it was only Kim Gracie and I, they were both sitting on the lounge Kim was watching some shit on tv and Gracie was doing something on her phone
"What are y'all doing" I said as I walked and sat next to them
"Watching cartoons" Kim yelled out excitedly causing both Gracie and I to giggle
"Hey Kim you know you're big brother the player likes a girl?" Gracie said making me to roll my eyes and Kimberly to widen her eyes
"Really? Is she pretty?" Kim asked looking over to me
"She's beautiful" I replied
Kim might only be 6 years old but she's actually really smart for her age and as much as I hate it she knows what I'm like and who I am, the player of our town
"Don't hurt her if you like her bro because that means she's different" Kim said
"She is different and I won't" I replied
I knew I couldn't hurt her for my sake for Taylor's sake and for my little sisters sake I had to be a role model for Kim and she had to see what a girl should be treated like and so far I hadn't shown her that
"Who is she?" Kim asked
I was taken by surprise with her question I knew it was going to come but I didn't expect it to be so soon and I don't think I was ready to tell them because if I did it would go back to Taylor and who knows what these two would say to her
"No one" I replied rubbing the back of my neck the girls looked at each other before Gracie replied "nah come on case who is it"
"No one" I said once again but I knew they wouldn't give up
"It's obviously not no one if my cousin casey black likes her"
I rolled my eyes at my cousin comment before replying "it's a secret and plus can't tell since I know you two won't be able to keep your mouth shut if you see her" they both giggled at what I said but let it go which I was so damn thankful for, I'll tell them when Taylor knows how I feel but for now I couldn't tell them since they both have big mouths and since Kimberly already knows her and has met her.

i went back up to my room to think more about Taylor Johnson and the next date id like to take her on, i wasnt used to this feeling and i wasnt used to trying to impress a girl, afterall i didnt have to do much to try to get a chick into bed all i had to do was show them my body but Taylor she was different i wanted to impress her i wanted to make her happy i wanted to show her the man i could be before i got my heart broken and turned into the big player i am, i wanted to take Taylor on a date that made her think that she was special to me that she knew i wanted this and so she saw and heard how i truely felt about her.

this is going to be harder than i thought, especially since im meant to be a bad boy and a player but this is what i want, ive finally admitted ive caught feelings for a very special girl and im going to do everything in my power to change the way i am and the way i live to prove to taylor even more than i have. im going to be the best version of Casey Black.