Finding The Truth

Chapter 6: Flashback #2

Bucky is with Sam, running through details for the upcoming mission.  He looks up from what he's doing and sees Sam looking at him, frowning.

"What?"  Bucky asks, frowning back at his friend.

"You gonna tell me what's happening between you and your girl?"  Sam asks, smirking as he says the words 'your girl'.

"Don't call her that, you know she's not mine."  Bucky says shaking his head.  "It's a long story anyway Sam.  She thinks I did something bad.  She basically thinks I'm a monster."

"And let me guess, you didn't right?  You wanna tell me more about it?"  Sam replies.

Bucky takes a breath before beginning his side of the story.

"Back in the day, we were taken and made to be part of a research team.  This serum was put into us to make us into some kind of super soldiers.
I didn't want to do it-none of us did.  But they found a way to make us all.  She thinks I went happily along with the whole thing-little does she know, I was under their control.  She was injected to sedate her, but me?  They tortured me, and triggered my trance state with words from a book.
I had to stand by and watch as they tortured her then froze her.  She tried to fight, I remember, but they were too strong, and she was too weak.  I couldn't shout, I couldn't even speak under their control.  Inside, I was screaming for her."

Sam looks down at the floor, unable to meet the eyes of his friend-the emotion in them too raw for him to comprehend or cope with.

"It wasn't until they began the freezing process with me,"  Bucky continues, "that I remember being able to feel anything,  It was like the triggers from the words was wearing off, and I remember, just as the process began, feeling like my heart was actually breaking in two."

"Sh*t man...."  Sam says, shaking his head.  "She thinks you just stood by and watched her."

Bucky nods, blinking away tears that have begun to form in his eyes.

"You have to tell her man!" Sam says forcefully.  "She thinks you're the bad guy-and look at you!  It's clearly still breaking your heart as much now, as it was then.  You have to speak to her-clear this whole mess up!"

Bucky shakes his head this time, a small smile spreading across his face.

"Ah no man.  I'm too scared-I'm not afraid to admit that.   I can't tell her all of this-have her hear the grim truth, and then more than likely not believe me anyway."

"You've gotta try though." Sam says.  "I feel like, deep down, there's more to you two, underneath all of this.  You owe it to yourself, as much as you do to her, to make her understand and move forward."

Bucky thinks for a moment before responding.

"You're right man."  He says taking a step forward.  "You're right....I need to clear this up, once and for all."

Sam smiles at his friend as he watches him leave the room.