Incapable of Love | IwaOiKage

"Tobio?"

Before we start, I wanna say if anyone hasn't done the feedback chapter please do so if you have time ^^

Also,, I'm bored so if you have any questions about the story or ig- me as the author you can leave em here. I need comments to fuel my ever deteriorating mental health UwU (also if you've read the chapter and came back to put a question, please don't put any about this chapter) or you could- idk ask for a fun fact about me (probably not fun but like- eh :D)

Also thanks to drarryxloves for beta reading as always ✨

Ok- on to the chapter.

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⚠TRIGGER WARNING!⚠

This chapter contains self-harm, panic attacks and a bad mental state in general throughout the chapter, including a graphic depiction of blood, so please, read with caution. Please take care of yourself ^^

To those who wish to skip this, there will be a non-graphic summary in the next chapter, either as an actual summary or in the form of a flash back or a dialog from someone but you'll be able to know what happens in this chapter don't worry. Again, don't force yourself.

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Tobio's chest felt heavy. Tobio's hands were numb, eyes red.

Red like the floor.

Tobio sighed, shaky, cleaning the remains of yesterday's activities.

He though- he thought he could stop! He'd been clean for months! Since- since they came back into his life.

Tobio threw away all of his disposable razors.

I don't need them! I don't!

Tobio wasn't sure if he was talking about the razors or...

He shook his head, going in the shower next.

You have an important match today, don't think about them.

Yes, Tobio would not think about them.

Are they here?

The crowd shook with cheers- mostly from Shiratorizawa, and Tobio couldn't help but wonder if he could catch a glance of chestnut and cocoa hair in the audience.

Why would they be here? You ruined their last chance at Nationals. HAAH! They even put up a wall. I'm surprised they didn't do it earlier.

Shut up- shut up! Shut up!

Tobio shook his head, shooing the thoughts away. They were at center court -for interhighs at the least- and up against the strongest players in Miyagi.

Tobio could do this. He just hoped his bandages stay in place.

——

They- they

They won.

They were going to Nationals.

They-

They're going to Nationals- OMG

Tobio felt like crying and laughing and yelling and full on feinting if he could. The crowd's cheers seem to reverberate, Tobio could feel it in his chest. Or maybe that was just his heart beat. He could hear muffled yells of his teammates, and warmth surrounding him. It was- It was just-

-black.

——

Tobio woke up to the ceiling light glaring at him. He hissed, willing himself to sit up. As if on que, the door opened, revealing Sugawara.