Incapable of Love | IwaOiKage

All Their Fault

A/N

Hello!! I just wanted to say thank you for reading my stupid fan fic! I appreciate it! Just a little note, Kageyama, Oikawa and Iwaizumi's relationship will be moving fast, because of reasons.

——
Tooru was getting restless. It has been weeks since he and Hajime went to talk to Tobio. His hair was a mess, his eye bags prominent. Even his team was worried. He must've looked like a zombie.

Not that Tooru cared. His mind was occupied on Tobio. On the fact that Tobio might never except them again, and it's all his fault.

Hajime was all the same. Sure, his hair didn't really change, but his voice was gruffer, he himself was snappier. Besides, he was the one that asked Tobio to put up the block,

They were practically breaking,

Many nights were spent wondering, hoping, regretting. Eventually though, they accepted that they've fucked up so bad that Tobio would never accept them again. They were too late.

Hajime stared at his ceiling, the glow in the dark stars Tooru put we're slowly losing their glow. Hajime huffed out a sad laugh, the stars reminded him if Tobio. He could stull remember those doe-eyes, a deep shade of blue. He remembers how this eyes would always follow Tooru, and occasionally, hum. He remembers how those eyes would shine when Hajime complimented him.

But those eyes, he remembers how bloodshot they looked when Tooru almost backhanded him. He remembers how hollow and empty they were when  - Hajime - they asked Tobio to put up a wall.

The light from Tobio's eyes slowly faded, just like those stars, and it was all their fault.

All Hajime could think was how to get him to forgive them. He'd beg if he had to, - though that would seem like too much -

Tooru, instead, thought about what he should've done years ago. He had felt those eyes follow him, admiring him. Maybe, just maybe, if Tooru wasn't such an idiot, then maybe Tobio would forgive them. But he knew, he knew he would never be forgiven fully. He'd almost hit him. He made Hajime say those words, rejecting Tobio.

They had pretended nothing happened, they didn't even tell their parents. They lived their lives, ignoring the hard feeling on their chests, a side effect of the block.

But that night, the only night they've ever seen their soulmark change, break, changed that drastically. Maybe it was because the new wall was -somehow- weaker, they felt more seep through the wall.

When it used to be a soft flow in the background, hardly noticeable, now it was stronger. The mark, Tobio's section of the mark, usually showed dull colours, but after that night it was brighter, more vibrant.

But the colours they saw were rarely yellow. They were mostly blue, purple, or red. Sadness, hurt, anger.

They knew it was their fault.

They were slowly drifting to sleep after what seemed like hours of thinking. Then they felt it. An itching on their left hands.

———

Tobio sighed as he closed the door. They talked some more, mostly Keiji scolding Tobio about how he "should've told him sooner" and how he "shouldn't have gone through it alone". If only Tobio wasn't used to being alone.

Even though the two elder boys wanted ti stay more, they had to go back to Tokyo. Tobio felt guilty for asking them - well, actually only Keiji - to come all the way to Miyagi. There he was, being a nuisance. Again.

Tobio took a glance at the clock, deciding that it was way too early to be up on a Saturday morning and went back to sleep.

——

Tobio didn't think about them for a while. In fact, he didn't think about them for weeks. Until the prelims were near.

They were bound to meet, if not in a match then in the halls.

To be completely honest, Tobio was scared. That if he let's them in, if he put: down his walls for them, that they'll eventually leave again. Like everyone does.

A part of him wants them. Wants the warmth that he'd seen other people get from their soulmates, wants the feeling if being complete. Wants to out down the wall and give them a chance.

The other part if him repelled that idea. He himself knows how much they'd hurt him. Sure, at that young of an age, he didn't care if he didn't have soulmates. He was focused on keeping his father alive. But now, after four continuous year is pain from pitting up the wall, Tobio couldn't trust them so easily.

Maybe Tobio was too focused on his soulmates that Hinata started to notice.

"Hey, Kageyama", Hinata started one dat as they were running up a hill, "are you ok? You've been off lately,"

Tobio shrugged it off at first, but Hinata kept  nagging.

"It's nothing....", Tobio sighed, "My soulmates talked to me."

"What? When?" Hinata sounded cautious.

"A few weeks ago. We talked".

"About?"

"They....", Tobio's steps slowed down, "they wanted to start over, with me."

Hinata was silent for a while. "And? What did you say?"

"Said I couldn't. I needed to think about it."

"And have you?"

Tobio's steps now halted, Hinata following suite.

"I.. don't know."

Another silence.

"Do I know them? Your soulmates?"

"Uhh.... yeah? Iwaizumi-san and Oikawa-san from Seijoh."

Then, another silence.

"Talk to them." Hinata finally said, "tell them your feelings, tell them everything. Ask them what you want to ask. Then decide."

Tobio thought about it, and coupled with Bokuto's words, he decided.

He's going to talk to them, ask his questions, and if, if, they don't don't mess it up, then maybe, just maybe, he'd let them in.

"Thanks Hinata".

"Anytime Bakayama-kun!!"

——

Tobio let out a shaky breath. He was going to do this. There's no turning back now.

Tobio closed his eyes, willed himself to relax. He saw it, the light on the other side of the wall.

You can do this Tobio. Keep going. It's just for one second.

Tobio let the wall down. All of this for a message.

I have questions. Park near Karasuno. Saturday after Prelims. 2 pm. If I don't see you after 30 minutes I'll go home.

Tobio put the wall back up. Stupid bond. Tobio knew from experience that his writing won't appear if the wall is up. And he hated the feeling of building the block again.

Tobio sighed, falling asleep.