Incapable of Love | IwaOiKage

Why am I Surprised?

The funeral was a few days after. He stayed with his neighbour while the whole legal thing was getting settled. It took a long time, about two months.

He didn't come to school for a week. He didn't come to practice for two weeks. He didn't talk to anyone for three weeks.

——-

"Hey, King. Are you ok?" Kindaichi asked as he approached Tobio for the umpteenth time that day.

"Don't call me that", Tobio mumbled, burying his head in his arms. Kunimi looked at Kindaichi, confusion and worry in his face. Kindaichi took a seat beside Tobio.

"King? Why'd you skip practice?"

"Don't. Call. Me. That." Tobio spat out.

"King-"

"SHUT UP!" Tobio covered his mouth with his hands. "sorry...." Tobio managed to blurt out and ran away.

——-

"Pftt... Oikawa! Why's your finger glowing? Did you eat a glow stick or something??" Makki asked, snickering alongside Mattsun. Tooru, caught of guard and thoroughly confused, looked at his finger. It was glowing all right, not that bright but noticeable. The odd thing though, was that it wasn't the tip that was glowing. It was the little heart that has been a dull blue.

It was glowing a very, very deep blue. Misery. He looked at his soulmate. He had the same glow, the same confused expression on his face, the same realization. A thought passed Tooru's mind. He should check up on his soul- no, he's not Tooru's soulmate. Just his kouhai.

"Alright, everyone start your warm ups", the coach announced. Tooru and Hajime gave each other a short glance and went to practice, covering up the glow with tape.

——-

Tobio was woken up by the bell ringing. He groggily sat up, glancing at clock. It was a Saturday and his neighbour usually let him sleep in. Tobio walked downstairs to see not only his neighbour but... a familiar looking lady. Where has he seen her?

"Tobio", his neighbour spoke when she noticed him, "you'll be living with your mom." Oh, that's where he's seen her.

"Tobio. Pack your stuff, you'll be living with me and my husband", she said, her tone deadpanned. Tobio nodded, silently going back upstairs and packing what little belongings he had.

Walking beside his... mother, Tobio felt on edge. She looked reluctant to take him. He got into a very expensive looking car, his school bag filled with belongings placed on his lap. In the driver's seat was an unfamiliar man. Kageyama noticed a fading mark on the back of his neck, still uncoloured. He knew what that meant.

He had no soulmate.

Tobio had researched about soulmateless people. Their marks usually start to fade at the age of twenty.

Oh, that's mom's new husband.

The car ride was silent, and they stopped at a tall building in the city. Tobio's mom stepped out of the car, grabbing her handbag. "I'll see you tonight, honey", see said as she gave her husband a peck on the lips and walked away. Tobio didn't really pay mind to that, he was busy remembering his mother's name.

R- Rei...? No.... What was it....

Tobio's chain of thought was cut off by a question. "So... You're name's Tobio right?" the guy asked, and let out a small hum of confirmation. "My name's Akaashi Nobu", the guy, Nobu, said, a bit awkwardly. Of course he'd be awkward, Tobio's mother rarely speaks of Tobio.

Tobio hummed again, fidgeting with his fingers and his bags.

"Um.. I heard you play volleyball?" Tobio's eyes lit up a bit, but then he slumped back. "I do.." he answered, a sad tone prominent in his voice. He missed playing with papa. "My son Keiji plays too. He's a year older than you I think." Noticing Tobio's confused look it the mirror, he continued. "He's not your mother's son. I had him with my ex girlfriend. It wasn't intentional and she didn't want him so we broke up and I took care of him." Tobio didn't know why Nobu was telling him his life story, but Tobio just nodded, liking his warm tone.

——-

They stopped in front of a decently big house, definitely larger than Tobio's old home. The exterior was modern to say the least. Parked in front of the house was another car. Tobio shuddered, everything looked so expensive that Tobio was scared to touch anything.

Tobio followed Nobu into the house, hugging his bag. "So um, welcome. You'll be living here. Me and Rei work in Tokyo and Keiji has school there, so you'll be alone for most of the time", Nobu looked at Tobio, "you'll be ok right? I can hire someone to watch after you?" Tobio was a bit unnerved by how easily he offered to hire someone. How much money does he have? Tobio shook his head, he could live alone.

Nobu showed him his room, decently sized with a single bed. It was at the end of the hall, secluded from the the rest of the house. Nobu left him to himself, and Tobio started to unpack his bag. Some over-worn t-shirts, his books, a volleyball and... a picture of his papa. He placed it on the desk.

——-

Tobio's temper got worse. Especially in volleyball.

"Faster!"

"You could've received that!"

"That was a perfect set! Try harder!"

——-

"Tobio, we'll be going back, please don't trash the house. Your money's on the table as usual." Akaashi Rin, Tobio's mother was typing furiously on her phone, not paying attention to Tobio. "Don't skip your guitar classes, I'll know. That stupid sport already made you incompetent in your studies, please don't let your only other talent go to waste." Tobio resisted the urge to tell her that volleyball is a talent, but then again, that hasn't been going very good lately.

Nobu gave sorry glances to Tobio, inward giving his sympathy to him. Tobio stayed silent, knowing arguing with her wasn't an option. Tobio wondered if his "half-brother" was treated like him. Then again, this "Keiji" lived in the "main house" in Tokyo. He probably isn't left alone for weeks or months.

Rei stepped out, Nobu following behind her. The door locked with a loud "click". He was alone. Tobio let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

——-

The ball fell to the ground, no one even jumped to spike. "We're tired of your dictatorship, King. We're done."

Ah, this feels familiar. I'm sorry papa. I failed you again. I guess they were right. I'm incapable of love. Why am I so surprised? I've been through this so many times.

Tobio didn't cry when he was benched, he didn't cry when the team lost, he didn't when they were in the bus. He didn't cry when he reached home. He didn't cry on his way to his papa's old house, now belonging to him. He didn't cry when he closed the old creaky front door. He didn't cry, until he saw the old pictures of his dad, still hanging on the walls. Tears fell like rain, it hurt. It hurt so, so much. His phone dinged, Rei was supposed to visit that day. She was probably looking for Tobio, but he didn't care.

He felt weak, alone, useless. He was tired. He wanted to lay down and cry himself to sleep. He was worn down, hungry, empty. Tobio wanted to let go. The weight felt so heavy, he was exhausted. The wall fell, the first time in three years. Tobio couldn't care right now. The faded writing turned a solid black, the writing he tried so desperately to ignore now standing out on his pale skin.

Tobio gave it a short glance, but it was blurry from his tears. Good night, papa.