BLOOM - namjin oneshots | bottom namjoon. ✓

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𝙎𝙖𝙙 𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜/𝘏𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 !

𝙅𝙄𝙉 𝙋𝙊𝙑

I should've known, I should've asked, I should've been there for him but all I did was concentrate on my work. Its too late, I just stared at his coffin as solemn tears rolled down my cheeks. I had no idea about his depression, not even a single bit. I had lived him for a whole four years but why have I not noticed those scars in his wrist before but now I do but its too late...he is gone.Too late to mend anything.

I should've notice the small change in his attitude, I actually did but only during this week.He was happy, very happy. He went to his hometown ilhsan to visit his mom, hang out with his friends and did everything for me but I didn't spend much time with him even though he tried to. I just shooed him away with any excuses or even scolds...sometimes I had even raised my hand on him accidently, it wasn't intentional but I wouldn't have if I knew that this is his last week being with me but despite the incident he smiled through his pain the next day.

I was disgusted by myself, I slept with my secretary to release my stress, and namjoon saw the hickies but didn't quivered. I went rough on him that night, but he didn't protest. I had hurt him in very way he doesn't deserves. I cheated on him, right infront of his eyes and I was not even trying to hide the fact that I was sleeping around to him.

"Its time" yoongi whispered and patted my back, slowly. He would kill me if I told him what I had done to namjoon all these times along, none of them will be here for me but I know namjoon would...he would no matter what."There is something" hobi said pointing at namjoon's hand, i ran to him and fell on my knees as taehyung pulled out the polaroid which was in-between his palms, it was our first picture of our first date. His dented cheeks and my wide grin in that polaroid , made me shatter into pieces."P-put it back...let him bring it along with him" his mother whispered, My teeth chattered as they finally covered his coffin along with the polaroid, erasing a little trance of it. I should've question him when he returns with his bloody red eyes often, I should've been there for him as a cure but what I did? I stayed as a venom for him but he drank it gladly.

I thought that he was just sleeping so I didn't bother to wake him up, yesterday morning. I returned home and he was still sleeping in that same position, I yelled and left, I yelled at his dead body. I still remember the days he seek for me to just kiss him or just hug him but what I did? Yell at him for being clingy. I asked for a breakup but he fought for me telling me that he will work hard to maintain this relationship, when I was sleeping around. But when I returned from the bar at 3am in the morning,he was still sleeping there just like that with no movements.

I slowly walked to him with my trembling hands and flipped his body, he wasn't waking. I stirred and stirred but he didn't open his eyes but there was a small smile on his lips the entire time like he was in peace. I don't know what to do but I called yoongi who stumbled into my house along with hobi. Both of them were terrified, namjoon wasn't breathing. His body was ice cold, I don't know what got into me for these past months but I regretted everything at the moment namjoon's mother held his body and cried into his chest.

What have I done? I could've cured, I could've healed, I could've reassured....but I didn't.His face his touch his love, I killed him not physically but mentally I have been torturing me.

🐚 ⋆ 🐸 🎀 𝒯𝒾𝓂𝑒𝓈𝓀𝒾𝓅 🎀 🐸 ⋆ 🐚

I put the red rose bouquet infront of his grave, as solemn tears gushed down my eye dam. "Sorry..." I whispered. I could only apologize, holding our memories. "I hope that your happy up there...I miss you" I whispered, it was namjoon's seventh death anniversary.

Its been seven years but still I was the same...I lived for him, to mend my mistakes and regain my loyalty for him just by thinking about him and only him.Our memories were fresh as the first day, our first everything was beautifully carved in my mind like a tattoo. I was about to turn my heels when I noticed a little puppy behind my legs, I had never seen it here before.

It had brownish fur along with some white patches here and there, cone ears and doe eyes. "What are you doing here pal?" I whispered for which it snuggled up deeper into my legs, my lips curled at that.I lift it up and carried it to my home, to start a new beginning with it.

Little did jin knew that its namjoon's second life when he once saw the puppy sneaking out to namjoon's wardrobe where he found namjoon's diary, that's when he saw namjoon's silhouette behind him, he felt his love's breath behind him, he felt his love's scent. But he just smiled and left as if nothing happened and nurtured the happy till the last breath of his life.