[18]

442 18 5

by foreverhisa

by foreverhisa

[Discretion Advised]

A week later.

I sat on a bench of the park, waiting for Lisa to pick me up. Luke had just left to Australia for holidays, so I was alone. Not really alone, but you know what I meant. I sighed, I'm gonna miss him so much but I have to make up the idea in my mind that probably I won't see I'm as often as I would want to. Disadvantages of having a boyfriend who's part of a famous band.

'Spencer' I heard behind and I jumped in fear. I turned around, annoyed.

'What the fuck do you want now?' I asked rudely. Matt just smirked at me and sat down in the same bench, next to me. I tensed up.

'I care about you, you know that right?' He asked, touching my cheeks. 'I saw you with him and I'm not very happy about it. You have to understand Spencer, he'll never be as important as me' He replied, cracking his knuckles. I shook my head,

'He has something that you don't... He has my heart, he has my love' I snapped at him and he got up annoyed. 'I'm not scared of you anymore!' I lied, getting up from the bench and walking out. He grabbed my arm and threw me to the floor. I groaned in pain. He lay on top of me, tracing with his hands my shoulders and neck. 'Stop' I whispered, holding back my tears.

'He doesn't have the power on you. Do you remember this?' He asked me, placing his lips on my neck. I closed my eyes, avoiding all the memories. This can't be happening again. I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him, trying to get up. He hit me on my face and all I could think in that moment was... another bruise, another wound to explain to my family. I got up, a little bit numb and he grabbed me by the neck. 'Stay away from him or you know what will happen' He threatened me, smirking. I felt a tear rolling down my cheek and I heard a car pulling over a few meters away.

'WHAT THE HECK!' Lisa yelled, jumping off the car and running to us. Matt ran away just in time and I stood there, ashamed. 'What was that? Are you okay? Who was he?' She asked and I shook my head.

'Take me home please' I told her, between sobs. She nodded and took my hand, guiding me to the car. A few minutes later she pulled over.

'Spencer... talk to me' She asked me but I wiped my tears away and got off the car. I heard her following me behind, yelling my name... but I didn't cared, I ran to the bathroom and lay there not able to hold inside of me anything else. Why was this happening again? Why was he back? What the hell does he want from me?. I desperately searched for my blade, that shiny metal and without even thinking, I slashed my wrists. I heard somebody knocking on the door.

'Spencer' Lisa yelled from the other side.

'Leave me alone!' I yelled, still holding the blade. Each cut was deeper and deeper until everything went blank.

I slowly opened my eyes, everything was blurry and my head was hurting like hell. I looked around, white walls. Where the heck was I?. The door slowly opened and Lisa stepped inside, her eyes were red. I was still confused, until I looked at myself. I was lying in a hospital bed, my wrists were wrapped and you could still see some blood marks. I sighed, closing my eyes again. I felt Lisa stroking my hair. A tear rolled down my cheek.

'Hey' She whispered and I opened my eyes, looking at the empty white wall in front of me. 'I love you' She told me, kissing my forehead and I nodded, looking at her. She still had some dry tear marks on her cheeks and her shirt was covered in blood.

'I'm sorry' I whispered back, pointing at her shirt. She weakly smiled at me but I frowned. 'You should've let me die' I whispered even slower. She shook her head.

'Don't' She told me, tears were falling down her cheeks. And I felt guilty to be the reason of her pain, of her tears. I moved aside and motioned her to lay down next to me. She did it and rested her head on my shoulder, grabbing my hand strongly. I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

I woke up, Lisa wasn't sleeping next to me. Mom and dad were sitting in a chair next to me.

'Why?' Dad slowly asked and I looked down. How am I supposed to tell them? I'm not that strong, besides... I needed to fight this battle alone. Being a burden wasn't really my intention, but I knew I was being a burden right now. I wiped my tears away as the doctor walked inside.

'Hello Spencer. You're being discharge right now' He announced and mom nodded, looking at me. He then excused himself and walked out, followed by my parents. Lisa walked inside, holding a bag. She placed it on the bed and handed me some clothes. I carefully got up from the bed and grabbed the sweatpants she was holding. I put it on and then I grabbed the hoodie from her hands. We were quiet. I was ashamed, and she was probably angry at me. The doctor walked in again, motioning me to sit in the bed, while he sat on the chair in front of me.

'Do I need to leave?' Lisa asked but the doctor shook his head.

'It'll be nice if you stay' He told her and she nodded, sitting next to me. 'Listen to me Spencer. I'm gonna give you some pills for the pain of your wrists and body. We're very concerned about you right now and about your weight. It seems like nobody noticed how underweight you are and that's not good.' He softly explained and I nodded, holding back my tears. My parents slowly walked inside the room and stood in front of the bed. 'I'll give you a very strict diet to follow. You wanna get better?' He asked me and I nodded, 'I can't hear you'

'Yes' I whispered.

'Then you have to follow the indications that I gave to your parents. You have to do this because you're putting yourself in a lot of danger right now.' He told me and I nodded, once again. 'Okay, we're done then' He said, handing to my parents some papers. I got up and walked out of the room. The doctor stopped me. 'They say stars can't shine without a little darkness... but the sun is always shining, no matter what. Be the sun, don't let anyone hurt you, and more important... don't hurt yourself' He told me, patting my back and walking away. I'm the sun... I'm the sun.

'C'mon Spencer' Lisa told me and I turned around, sitting in the wheelchair. Once we reached the parking lot, I sat in the back of the car and Lisa sat next to me. I was tired, exhausted and I wanted to sleep. My eyelids felt heavier but I managed to stay awake throughout the whole ride. Dad pulled over at the front of the house and I slowly walked out of the car. The cold breeze of the night hit me in the face, but Lisa held my arm and we walked inside. The house seemed empty, until we heard dani yelling from the kitchen.

'CHRISTINA WHERE'S THAT PIECE OF PIE?' she yelled.

'COMING' Christina yelled back from upstairs, annoyed. She appeared at the top of the stairs and ran to me, once she saw me. She stood in front of me, tears were falling from her eyes. 'I love you so much' She told me, hugging me tight. She kissed my forehead and helped me walk upstairs. I stood in front of the bunk.

'What's wrong?' Lisa asked. The window was open, the room was cold.

'I don't... I don't want to sleep alone' I blurted out, turning around. The look on her eyes softened and she nodded, half smiling. She opened the bed for me and I got inside. She lay down next to me and I curled up on her chest, closing my eyes, falling asleep.

** I know it's a really sad chapter, and it contains a very delicate subject. I'm sorry if last chapter was all happy and this is all depresive, but a lot of things are coming and we needed this.

Hope you enjoyed it. Vote / comment if you did :)

Okay, I know it may seem weird and cheesy, but giving the circumstances of this chapter I felt the need to tell you that... You're perfect the way you are and no matter what people say, you're enough. You deserve all kind of beautiful things that life can give you, so hold on there ... life is full of surprises.

I love you!!