Young Blood || Cimorelli

[30]

A giant thunder woke me up. I blinked a couple of times trying to adjust to the dark of the room and when I finally did it, I noticed that I was alone in the room covered with some blankets. The door was slightly open and it was dark outside. I got up, wrapping the blanket on my body and sat near the window. It was pouring really bad that it actually felt like the sky could fall at any moment. I sighed. I didn't know how much I slept but it didn't helped at all. It was hard to imagine that for a split of second everything bad in your life could fade away, and it did... until I woke up.

Every inch of my body ached and I was pretty sure my heart was broke, like physically broken. I knew that it was impossible to actually have your heart broken but it felt like that. It was burning in my chest. I closed my eyes as a tear rolled out of my eye.

I thought he loved me. I mean, I knew there was a chance that he'd be mad at me for disappear but also I thought he'd be happy to see me alive, to see that I wasn't dead or anything. He being mad at me was a possibility but I never thought he'd act the way he did. Since I've been here I've been trying to rebuild my life, to leave behind the past and actually become a different person. But all my insecurities were thrown at my face and now I was drowning again.

I opened the window a little bit, feeling the cold breeze of the night. I grabbed a package of cigarretes from under my bed and lit one up. The toxic smoke filling my lungs felt good, not as good as it could feel a joint or some pills. I closed my eyes and let myself fall apart.

***

''Spencer?'' I heard Lisa but I didn't opened my eyes until I felt her hand on my shoulder. ''What the heck is this?'' She asked and I opened my eyes, looking around me. I had smoked at least 7 cigarettes and the cigarette butt were everywhere. She sighed and sat in the bed, looking at me. ''This is not good for you, Spencer''

''What are you my mom?'' I rudely asked, getting up from the floor and walking out of the room, followed by her.

''No, I'm clearly not your mom but I worry about you'' Lisa said and I stopped, turning around. Behind her Peter and Alena were sitting, looking at me confused. ''What are you guys doing here?'' I asked them and Peter got up.

''Woah kid, don't be that nice'' He sarcastically said, laughing a little bit but quickly stopping when he saw my serious face. ''I was worried, we were worried'' He added, pointing at Alena, who got up too. I turned around and walked to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. ''C'mon Spencer''

''Look, I appreciate the effort and all that but I'm fine, I'm okay, I've never been better so you don't have to worry about me'' I replied walking back to my room with my cup of hot coffee, and closing the door behind. After a few second I heard a soft knock. ''I'm changing, leave me alone'' I yelled as I was changing to some black skinny jeans and a sweater. I put on my boots and my beanie and walked out my room again, grabbing my coat as I headed to the main door.

''Where are you going?'' Lisa asked me. I turned around, looking at her, Peter and Alena that were standing in the middle of the living room.

''I need some time alone'' I said and walked out.

I sat in the same bench as usual, looking at the water. I don't recall feeling like this in a while, like my heart had been taken out of my chest and it was empty, so freaking empty that sometimes it was hard to breathe. I closed my eyes, feeling the breeze brushing my hair away. I was so stupid by thinking that I could be happy, that everything could be good for me. But that was bullshit and now I'm back, feeling as shitty as the 16 year old me, broken and bleeding, lying in the cold and hard ground. I'm shutting Lisa out, she crossed an entire ocean for me, she lied to our parents... for me. And I'm turning my back to her.

I felt someone sitting in the bench next to me. ''Peter called'' Dante said, looking at the horizon too. His hands were hidden in the pocket of his jacket. ''What happened?'' He softly asked and I felt his eyes on me.

''Luke'' I replied and he nodded, sitting in silence. I knew it was probably hard for him to know that the reason of this was Luke but deeply inside I was hoping he could move on from that and be the friend I was needing. My only friend in the world.

''He's an asshole. He's a fucking asshole who don't deserve your love'' Dante spat angry and I looked at him. His jaw was clenched.

''He really is...'' I said.

''But that asshole... is the one you love.'' Dante added and I nodded, cleaning a tear that fell from my eye. ''Look Spencer. Whatever he did, whatever he told you... It's not true. He's just mad and hurt, he need time to process all of this''

''What about me? I'm hurt too! I was the once who got raped and then lost the baby, I was the one suffering and the one trying to fit in so perfectly. He doesn't know anything but he gets the chance of being mad and hurt, right?'' I exclaimed angry at dante's statement. He nodded, looking at me.

''You're right, he doesn't get to do that to you... but he did and you gotta move on from that or let yourself fall deeper and deeper. Your blue eyes aren't that blue anymore and even though I haven't known you for that long, I know that you're falling and drowning.'' He looked at me, cleaning a tear from my face and giving me a kiss in the forehead. ''You know how to swim, now do it.'' He added, getting up and walking away. I sighed, getting up too and walking back home. He was damn right, I couldn't let him sink me, I couldn't give him the power to control my feelings. But that was bullshit too. I was in love with Luke and his words were echoing in my head, as real stabs. Everything was hurting and maybe I wasn't ready to go back from that.

**Hi kids, I finally updated lol Be thankful haha. I'm really really really looking forward to a possible reconciliation or whatever, between Luke and Spencer of courrrrrse lol

So yeah, vote/comment if you liked this.

Love y'all <3

PS: READ MY OTHER STORY CALLED BREATHE ME LOL IT'S A ONE SHOT AND I UPDATED SOMETHING THERE!!

woah haha gr8 promo