Young Blood || Cimorelli

[21]

Two days had passed since I told Luke about what happened with Matt. It has been awkward, maybe because he still feels helpless. I sighed and rolled out of bed. It was 3am and I couldn't sleep. I don't think I've slept in years... I just, I have so many things in mind that won't let me rest. I carefully opened the door and walked to the aisle. It was empty and dark. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and pointed out the lantern to the hall. Once I found myself on the kitchen I sat on the counter, looking at the wall. There comes a point when you really just don't care, where you just move on and don't mind about what the others think or the collateral damage. Unfortunately I wasn't there yet, I was still caring and that was killing me. I cared about Luke and his reaction, I cared about my siblings, my family... but I didn't cared about myself. Hard to believe.

I walked to the backyard and climbed the tree house. It was cold, it was dark but I didn't cared. I lay down and looked at the stars. Was this the beginning of a new life? A new start? Or maybe I was just stuck here, living in hell. I wish I could know, so I could be prepared. I suddenly heard some branches and I froze. I saw a silhouette standing in front of the window and I got up, slowly grabbing one of nick's bats. I was about to the hit the person with it when he turned around.

'No, Spencer wait! It's me Luke' He said, scared. I sighed, throwing the bat away and running to his arms. He embraced me and I felt warmth instantly.

'What are you doing here at this hour?' I asked confused, walking back to the tree house. We sat down and I cuddled on his chest.

'I couldn't sleep' He simply replied and I smiled. 'What about you?'

'Same'

'I couldn't stop thinking about you' He said and I smiled again. 'And about what you told me' He suddenly said and my face dropped.

'What a way to ruin the moment' I replied sarcastically, moving away from him. He sighed.

'We gotta talk about this, we gotta fix it' He said and I shook my head. If he only knew what's behind that simple sentence that I had said to him.

'There's nothing to fix' I replied, hugging my knees and looking away. This is why I didn't wanted to share it.

'C'mon Spencer, we gotta do something' He told me but I didn't looked at him. 'Dammit Spencer, why are you being so stubborn!' He annoyed exclaimed. I sighed, closing my eyes. He didn't understand... he wasn't able to see what was really happening. I couldn't bear with the pain of reviving those moments over and over again. I was moving on with all the consequences that it carried with it but he was holding me back, he was pushing me back to the past.

'I need to move on with this. You can do whatever the fuck you want' I replied, getting up and walking to the small wooden stair.

'Matthew Cavanaugh' He pronounced those two words and my heart froze, sending shivers all over my body. It was all real now, all the memories were back and I was hating Luke for making me experience this one more time. I cleaned the tears that had fallen from my eyes and walked out the stairs.

'Goodnight' Was the last thing I said before disappearing in the dark. I wanted to be alone and there was no way I could be able to close my eyes and get some sleep. I walked inside the house, where Lisa was waiting for me, sitting at the bottom of the stairs.

'I thought you had gone' She said, looking at me. I cleaned up the few tears that kept on falling without control from my face and she got up and embraced me. I felt warm and protected once again. We walked to the kitchen where she handed me a glass with milk. I hated milk.

'I hate milk' I stated and she smiled.

'I know, but doctor's orders' She said, smiling and sitting in front of me. I sighed and drank a little bit of it, feeling the need to throw it all out just because of the taste. 'So, are you telling me what happened outside?' She asked after a few minutes of silence.

'Nothing' I lied

'I don't know why you waste energy in lying to me' She said, smiling. I sighed once again, and put my elbows on the table, resting my head on my hands.

'I thought I was ready to say it... I mean I was, but it definitely didn't turned out the way I was expecting to. So no, I can't tell you about what happened because I don't want to deal with you too' I replied and she nodded,

'You act as if you didn't knew me' She said, sort of offended. I frowned.

'Well, last time I spilled one of my secrets you sort of yelled at me... oh and you got the whole house to be against me' I hardly replied and she rolled her eyes, getting up from her seat and walking to the stairs. I closed my eyes and sighed, running to her. 'Okay wait' I told her, grabbing her arm. She turned around.

'What do you want Spencer? The only thing I'm trying to do is help you and you keep pushing me away. I'm the only one you have... so take it or leave it' She said, giving me some sort of ultimatum. I looked at her, still debating inside of me if I should give her the opportunity, if I should let her in. 'Well, that speaks for itself' She said, turning around and walking upstairs.

'Damn it Lisa! It is hard enough for me to even think about it and you're just forcing me to trust in you'. I yelled from the middle of the stairs. She turned around right in front of our room and walked to me.

'Don't freaking yell' She whispered, dragging me downstairs. We sat on the couch. 'I know I can't force you to trust in me but you gotta understand... I can't keep watching you falling apart right in front of me. I'm not stupid, I know something happened' She said, looking at me. I nodded.

'Yeah... a lot of things have happened' I whispered, looking at the ground. Suddenly the house went quiet and I found myself drowning in that silence. I wanted noise, I wanted people yelling.... making me forget about whatever thought that could cross my mind.

'You can trust in me. I know I've made a lot of mistakes with you, but I'm learning' She assured me, holding my hands. I sighed.

'You can't tell anyone... you can't look at me the way I know you will. Just... be there and ...-'

'Spencer' She said, impatiently.

'I was raped' I finally said and I saw her face transforming into a confused/worried face. She looked at me in the eyes, the same way I told her not to and I saw a tear falling down her cheek.

'Who?' I heard somebody standing behind us. I turned around, Christina was standing in the door frame. Tears were falling down her eyes and I shook my head. This couldn't be real.

'It doesn't matter' I simply replied but she stepped closer to me.

'It does matter Spencer, it really does!' Christina practically yelled at me. I felt my phone vibrating somewhere in the room and I ran to pick it up, hearing some complains from Christina.

- Hello?- I asked confused. Who calls at almost 5am?

- You just gave your little boyfriend a death sentence - I heard from the other side. That voice, deep and raspy voice. Matt.

- Wait what? Is he there? - I asked and he laughed

- He was -

-Where he is now? - I asked desperately. The house phone rang and I heard him laughing one more time.

- You better answer that, sweetheart - He said, ending the call. I threw my phone away and I ran to pick up the phone that had been ringing for at least 10 seconds. I pick it up.

- Spencer?- The person said right away before I could even say anything. I looked at Christina and Lisa and I felt my world crashing down... one more time.

** Okay huge cliffhanger but I had to, I didn't want to make this chapter that long. Sorry for not updating in like 100 years haha

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Love you <3

oh wait, maybe i'll update on sunday... pray for me, sometimes I'm lazy hahaha okay bye