We walked inside the house and I was already preparing myself to what was coming. I wasn't ready to expose myself, but I was so tired of pretending that everything was okay. I ran upstairs, looking for more comfortable clothes since I wasn't going to school. I walked downstairs, and to the kitchen where mom was. I sat down in front of her.
'I'm listening' She said, waiting for me to speak. I sighed, but when I was about to open my mouth to pronounce something, we heard the door getting closed and somebody walked inside the kitchen. Christina.
'Hey' She greeted me, and I waved back. I glanced at the clock placed in the wall. 8:14. Where the heck was she... oh wait, she was dropping Jess at school... Jess... Jess. That's when it hit me, I can't tell, I just can't. Matt was Jess's boyfriend, Jess was living in my house. I can't, this is wrong, not for me but it's wrong. Nobody will believe me, and for much that I wanted to kick her out of, not only my house, but my life, I couldn't... I was more than that and I knew it.
'Spencer...' Mom called me. I looked at her and Christina, who was now sitting next to mom. I shook my head
'You know what? Just, forget it... it wasn't a big deal anyway' I said, getting up from the chair and running upstairs. Lisa was lying in her bed, glued to her phone. I felt her gaze as I walked to the bunk and suddenly I couldn't help but feel sad and guilty. I know people make mistakes and I was trying to fix my mistakes, she had been there for me, she comforted me when I needed. But despite of everything nice that she has ever done for me, I was still feeling betrayed and hurt.
I lay down on my bed for a couple minutes, until I saw the door opening and Lauren walking inside with a huge book on her hands. She threw it on my bed and I watched her as she climbed to her bunk.
'What's this?' I asked confused. I took it, only to see that it was a biology book.
'You have to read that' She demanded me, while she was reading another book with a red cover.
'No I don't' I replied, throwing the book to the floor.
'Hey!' I heard Lisa complain. 'Don't throw things to the floor' she said, taking the book and putting it on my bed again.
'Hey, if you want to be homeschooled then you have to read that or else you are going back to school' Lauren told me, clearly annoyed.
'Homeschooled? What the heck happened?' Lisa asked me, concerned.
'None of your business' I harshly replied, getting down from the bunk. What am I doing? I know I'm mad and disappointed at her, but why do I need to hurt her even more? That wasn't necessary.
I walked out of the room and sat on the stairs. I felt my phone vibrating on my pocket. I took it out. Emily.
- Hi girl - I greeted her
- WHY AREN'T YOU AT SCHOOL TODAY- she yelled at me. I guess I haven't told her the whole situation.
- I am being homeschooled now - I replied to her, crossing my fingers hoping that she wouldn't get mad.
- WHAT? WHY? - She yelled at me again.
- I don't feel like telling you this over the phone, we should meet up one day - I replied, feeling uncomfortable. I haven't told anyone about the rape thing and I wasn't sure about telling her either. She knew about the bullying thing, so that could be my excuse or maybe i'll figure it out in that moment.
- Okay, you owe me an explanation. Are you coming this friday? - She asked, all of a sudden. I frowned.
- this friday?
- To my party? My dad and my new stepmom are going to spend the weekend outside and I thought I should make a party, to celebrate - She laughed - And we won't be alone, because she invited her nephew and according to what she told me, he's coming with some friends to make sure that we don't burn the house.
- Okay, I guess I'll have to ask for permission. I'll call you later - I said, ending the call. Now I need to ask my parents and I guess it won't be that hard since we are in good terms right now.
'Can we talk?' I heard Lisa. I turned around, she was standing behind me. I raised an eyebrow. I know that deeply in my heart I wanted to forgive her and try to build again the relationship that we once had, but my pride wouldn't let me, I wasn't strong or mature enough to leave this in the past and move on, I was still hurt.
'We have nothing to talk about' I harshly replied, getting up and walking to where she was. She was standing in the middle of the aisle and I needed to go to the bathroom. She grabbed my arm once I passed her.
'Please' She practically begged me. I looked into her eyes, and saw nothing but pain. I turned around, ignoring her. I walked inside the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I let out a sigh that I didn't knew I was holding , I didn't knew that I was feeling sad. I wasn't expecting to feel the way I was feeling, I wasn't sad, I wasn't angry... I was empty. I felt my phone vibrating again, a text message.
- I haven't seen you in a while and I'm dying to see that beautiful face and make you feel the way you like. Hope to see you soon, we have business to finish. - Matt.
For a moment, I felt the world stopping. I was getting over this, well not getting over... I was suppressing my emotions, throwing them aside and moving on with my life, but everytime I felt like the world was making sense, he showed up to prove to me the opposite. I closed my eyes, letting some tears fall. I hugged my knees, trying to avoid the memories of his hands on my body, trying to calm the demons inside of me. But I couldn't. I took a blade that was under the sink and slashed my wrist as many times as possible. I saw the blood flowing down my arms, to the floor. I closed my eyes, allowing the pain to rip my heart. I was scared, I was alone, my heart was shattered into million pieces and I wasn't sure if the pieces were complete, I wasn't sure if it will heal again.
** It's been like 100 year lol well, MERRY CHRISTMAS!! It's not christmas here anymore, but it's never late for that hahaha.
Vote/comment or do whatever you feel like haha if you liked this chapter. It's short, I know but sorry ):
I love you guys <3
Ps: I'll be updating my stories this weekend so stay tuned
