Belong To The City (August Alsina)

Chapter 30: What's Real

Chapter 30

What's Real

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"W-what?" I questioned. I swear he just told me that he loved me.

"You heard me Cyn, I luh you an I'm nervous as hell 'bout feelin' this way foe any female that ain't family. " He admitted.

My stomach immediately went into a frenzy of butterflies at his words. He loved me? I knew that our relationship was definitely developing into something big, and I knew that I loved him as well. I came to terms with that a while I go, but I couldn't say that in fear of him rejecting the idea of loving me back this early on in the relationship. Now that he's said it I feel amazing, but theres the realist side of me that doesn't want him to be telling me this, not until he knows everything.

He took a seat on one of the deck chairs at the table behind him and pulled me between his legs. I didn't realize I was still crying until he reached up to wipe some tears off of my face.

"Baybeh why you cryin'?" He questioned concerned. I shook my head feeling bad, he loves me, but he doesn't even know it all yet.

"August I don't want you to say that." I told him seriously. I watched as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he got a little angry.

"An why the hell not?"

"Because August, you just can't. You don't know everything about me and I don't want you to say you love me until you know it all, until you know what type of person I used to be. If you're going to love me, you're going to love all of me. " I explained.

"Whatchu trynna say Cyn? What typa person you used ta be?"

I took in a deep breath and let it out before biting down on my lip. I didn't want August to know everything about me because I do love him so much and I don't want him to leave me over it or see me as a bad person. I know its selfish and I should have let him know about this earlier before he caught actual feelings for me but its not something you just go and tell people off rip.

"Listen when I say this I do not want you to get upset with me," I began. He stared up at me for a while then nodded.

I wiped my sweating hands onto my pants and looked him dead in his eyes as I spoke.

"I used to be an escort ." I breathed out.

I watched as his face went from confused to hurt and then just straight anger.

"What the hell you jus' say?"

"I know, its horrible and I should have told you sooner, but I just couldn't find the right time or words--"

"The right time? How 'bout when I was defendin' yo ass all those times in Games face or anyone's for that matta, like you deserved that shit?" He shouted. I flinched at his words but steady stood still as he continued on.

"Wait a second, does that have anything to do with that dumb ass bill?"

"Yea." I mumbled looking at the ground. I heard him sigh heavily then stand up and throw his chair across the patio.

When I looked up at him I could see he was enraged and upset and it scared me, but then again he needed to calm down before he wakes anyone in the house up.

"August calm down!" I shouted at him. He immediately strided over towards me and stood in front of me breathing heavily.

"Calm down? I cain't be calm when the girl I luh goes an tells me she used ta be a hoe, I ain't too calm 'bout that shit."