Spiderkid oneshots

Baby Tony

Requested by @Fjgymbd. Hope you like it!

"May, I need help!" Peter's aunt had just gotten back from work when she received the call. The motion of picking up the phone was accompanied by a deep sigh. It's not that she didn't want to help Peter any way she could, she just was very tired after the 18-hour long shift.

"What happened? Are you bleeding?" her voice was filled with worry. She was proud of everything Peter was doing, but sometimes she just had to ask. Why can't I deal with bad grades?

"No, no, I'm fine, It's Mr. Stark. So, we and Bruce have been hanging around a lot, so today when I entered the lab he was mixing something in multiple lab bottles. Then he put a little bit of everything together, shook it all up, and before I could stop him, he called: "I can do better than Banner!", and drank the tiny bottle. And, and now I have a baby on one of the lab table and I generally don't know what to do." The boy finished explaining, his voice panicky at the end.

The woman on the other end wondered why she was not surprised, that Tony Stark had gotten jealous about Peter hanging out with Bruce Banner and turned himself into a baby: "Alright, I'll be there in half an hour, make sure he doesn't fall off anywhere or eat anything, or... just take him to a place where he can't hurt himself. I'm going to buy some stuff; we'll need and then I'll be there as soon as I can." Her voice lecturing.

"Alright, thank you!" with those words sounding of the other end May hung up.

Luckily, she had changed back to her civil clothes at the hospital, so now to get out of the house she only needed to open the door. Heavily she stepped into the elevator, walked out to the early evening sky, and made her way to the closest supermarket on foot.

For the first time, she walked through the aisle for Baby's, when Peter came into her custody, he already was 5. It took her a while to choose diapers and pacifiers. She didn't know for how long Tony was going to be a baby, but since she was in a rush, the woman chose not to buy baby clothes. In the aisle for baby foods, she realized that she had no idea what the man's allergies were. May wanted to kill the genius only partly, so she picked up a bunch of different mixes. On the way to the class register she grabbed a chocolate bar for herself, only then realizing she hadn't eaten anything in the last 8 hours of work.

"A new mommy?" the lady at the register asked with an understanding tone, while May was paying. The woman thought to herself that she must have looked terribly tired at the moment.

"Nope, a nurse," she responded and not thinking about the answer left the register.

Then she preceded to take a bus, till the stop 'Stark tower'. The bag thankfully wasn't too heavy. When she entered people looked weirdly at her, but the security system was manly run by Friday, and nothing was indicating that she doesn't belong here. The woman got into the private elevator, put the bag down on the floor to rest her arms: "Wherever Peter is," she yawned.

When she was on the top floor of the penthouse, May took the bag in her hand again, got out to Friday's announcement about Peter being in Tony's bedroom.

In the last hour, Peter had brought his mentor up the stairs to his bedroom and while watching him calculated that the potion was going to stay active for one more hour. When he heard plastic crunching and steps from the corridor, the boy still facing Tony moved in the direction of the doors. Immediately he took the bag out of his aunt's hands and brought it to the bedside.

When May saw the baby, she just shook her head. It was cute, but it also was dangerously stupid just like the grown-up version: "Welp, we gotta put the diapers on," her voice was the opposite of enthusiastic.

"Um, how does one do that?" Peter asked.

"One takes the package out of the bag, opens it, reads the instructions on them, and then follows them," she said while following her own orders.

Turns out baby Stark was quite active, and it took them both a while to keep him still for long enough for the diapers to be put on. After a hard fight, they finally accomplished their goal.

"And the next step is to feed him," May ordered. This time Peter took out one of the packages, read the instructions, and made his way to the kitchen, where he poured the context of it into a bowl and added some warm water, then mixed it up.

Before coming through the door, he saw May smiling and playing pika-boo with the baby. She looked happy, not tired, not worried, not stressed. This was a rare occasion.

Then he walked in with the food. May turned in his direction and took the bowl of him. At first, testing if the mash's temperature she fed the baby. Well, she tried to. Tony's arms were very against the spoon even getting close to his face. However, after a good portion of the bowl was spilled on Peter, his aunt, the bed, and the floor, after about 4 tries of the airplane it worked. May was a magician. Turns out baby Tony preferred trains over airplanes. As simple as that.

When the rest of the bowl was finished May looked at Peter: "We should take turns washing!"

"No need," an evil grin crossed his face, "He will be back to normal in 10 minutes, let's show him what happened.

May joined the evil grinning, in fact, their smiles were so matching that anybody would understand that they are relatives. They were right of course. Tony was helpless since in the next ten minutes the pair had not only gotten many more baby Tony's reactions to pika - boo, weird voice tunes, and train noises but also gotten him to nod to putting all the footage in one folder and placing it into the 'Never destroy' protocol. The man was in true despair.