You Are My Wildest Dream

I can't always be super poetic. (Hannah's POV)

HANNAH'S POINT OF VIEW

As Paris digs around in her bag to pay for our dinner and Rowan heads inside to use the bathroom, I completely zone out at the table. I find myself tangled in my own head listening to my thoughts. This is the first time I feel something real, and it feels even better than the magic I write about. But, most don't know that a majority of my songs are fictional. People constantly try to pin my lyrics to someone I'm papped with, and it just makes me laugh. Only a handful are based on real experiences, and the rest are major romanticizations that branch off of that. Seriously, like, what the fuck is love? I don't know. I've dated a handful of people, and they were all so different. I surely thought I was in love at times, but hindsight shows it was being in love with the idea, not the person. Dear God, definitely not the person.

It's not like all my relationships were bad or something, I've learned a lot on the way within the maze of balancing "love" and my career. I'm sometimes the one to blame for the flames of burning emotions, jealousy, and even anger. I get so caught up in my insecurities that I just shut down; my brain literally turns off. Some people think it's a look of bold confidence, but it's really a haze of me being so over my own shit.

I don't even know much about her, and my creative side kinda likes it that way; you know, as a professional romantic and stuff. But, my non-career side wants to know her, like right now. I'm building up so many ideas for songs, I think I seriously filled ten pages just after the first time we met, and that was only thirteen hours ago. She got off the cruiser and gave me this look like she knew everything about me before we even shook hands. Her brown eyes cut straight through all of my "what-ifs" and sunk into my heart. And now they're just there, hanging out with my blood vessels. Ew. Okay. But you get the idea, right? I can't always be super poetic, cut me some slack. Especially because I'm so excited that I found someone who makes me feel this way, and I can't even tell how she feels back? She seems super friendly and kind to everyone she talks to. You can tell she's good at reading people, so what if she read me and shrugged it off? She hasn't been receptive to my compliments, and some were so bold that I can't even believe I said them out loud (like, I told her she looks good in the car with my biggest puppy eyes.. Who does that?). I almost feel like I should stop, because I don't want to give off the impression that I'm The Creepy Boss who gets with every music video co-star, especially since my attempts haven't been reciprocated. I'm looking at her like a once-in-a-lifetime type person and she brings up chairs. CHAIRS?!