You Are My Wildest Dream

WRAPPED!

Hannah and I are the last ones to leave set and head into the office shack for our break. Gosh, I'm going to miss saying "office shack." We take a seat next to each other at the table and settle in. "Oh shoot, I already forgot the fruit tart," Hannah gets up to grab a slice of it and asks if I'd like another slice too. "Nah, I'm good babe. Thank you though. I had enough fruits and tarts this morning to last me the next several years!" She giggles at my response and leans down to briefly kiss my head before venturing to find ~the tart~. I reach for my phone and a bag of veggie straws to distract myself as Hannah leaves. I open up my messages and type out a text to my mom:

Mom! I miss you with my whole heart! I can't wait to see you real real soon! Talk later around dinnertime? I'll text you when we wrap. Love youuuuuuuu

I send it with a smile on my face and immediately start snacking on the veggie straws. While I'm eating and waiting for Hannah to come back, I start zoning out and letting my thoughts wander. I can't wait to see my mom, and dad, and dogs, and Italy— gosh the lake. The perfect pretty perfect lake.

I reach into the bag to pull out more straws and suddenly my thoughts shift... Hannah and I still haven't spoken about "us" yet. I feel my throat drop into my stomach and toss the bag down onto the table. I know I was optimistic this morning about us, and I still am, but there's a side of reality to our connection too, unfortunately. Hannah is a world-famous singer-songwriter who is constantly creating, producing, touring, and doing, like, everything else. I'm an actor just starting to catch a break in the entertainment industry, in the process of moving out of New York, and heading back to Italy. Oh, and fuck, I have a new project starting super soon.

It's any new actor's DREAM to get a lead role, well, really ANY role, and especially for a movie filming in a country you grew up in. I'm blinded by the conflicting spectrum of emotions I'm feeling right now. I'm so unbelievably grateful and excited to start working on that project, but now my heart hurts a bit at my new circumstances. I can't stop my emotions from flipping between "things will be a-okay between us" and "things will totally not be okay and possibly end way sooner than I can prepare for."

I put my head into my hands to try and center myself to gain composure. I hear the shack door open and know it's Hannah. Before I can even hear her footsteps approaching, I yell out, "Hey, I'm okay, but we gotta talk." I now hear airy steps gently approaching me; they almost sound barely there. "About what, dear?" I lift my head up out of my hands and am met with a concerned pair of eyes— it's Paris?! I immediately sit up straight and try to fix my shirt. "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were Hannah," I say, sounding flustered. Paris stays standing as she reaches the table and places her hand on my shoulder, "Mind if I take a seat?" She asks me. "No, please do," I say while shaking my head. She stays holding my hand as she pulls out the chair. "What's going on in your pretty head, hmm?" I let her question be open gates to my honesty in an attempt to gain real advice and direction because of how lost and scared I feel right now. "It's Hannah. I mean, it's not Hannah, we're fine. But I mean to say, like, it's us. I'm just worried for after we wrap. I know we'll be okay, but what if we're not?" Paris takes each and every word I say and listens to me; she truly hears me. "Darling..." She sighs out with a smile, then continues, "I'm sure she's having these very thoughts about you too right now. In fact, she's still outside at the fruit tart table. When I walked by she was on her third slice." She pauses and tightens her grip on my hands, "Now, if you're both having thoughts that are worried about losing each other, doesn't that then sound like you both are not planning on losing each other? That's really all you need. That's really all anyone needs." Paris puts her forehead to mine, then brings me in for a hug. I can't help but begin crying into her shoulder, not out of sadness, but out of relief and a massive sense of affirmation. The only words I can find in such a state of release are, "Thank you." I hug her tighter and as I'm doing so, I hear the door open again. "You guys are having secret hug meetings without me now, huh? Okay..." Hannah teases as she enters the room, but her expression quickly drops as she feels the energy swirling. Paris loosens our hug and gets up out of the chair. "I'll see you two out there soon! MWAH!" Paris quickly leaves the office shack, knowing that Hannah and I need to talk. I speak up first, "Hey, I know we haven't had much time to talk about "us" after we finish up here today. But..." I feel tears starting to form in my eyes already again, but try to continue with the strength Paris gave me moments ago, "...but, I, I, don't want to lose—"

Hannah puts her pointer finger to my lips, then lets out a quick "shh." I watch her eyes intently for her next move. "I hear you and your emotions, and I agree; we need to talk and we will. I was thinking while I was getting the fruit tart slice, well, honestly several slices." Hannah averts her eyes from mine and briefly laughs at herself and the fruit-filled coping method. She continues, "Let's talk about it after dinner tonight? I know if we start now we'll wanna talk to each other so much, then we'll have to head back onto set anyway. Plus, it's our last day here and working together. I want to enjoy every second with you and not let emotions over "what ifs" muddle the memory. I'm here with you right now, and you're here with me right now. That's really all we need, right?" She looks at me with a soft smile, awaiting my reception. I linger on her last sentence— Paris! Gosh, Paris is really out here being our own *secretive* personal relationship therapist. I let out a light laugh at the realization, and also as a sign of relief. I nod in agreement with Hannah's proposal (or should I say Hannah AND Paris's proposal) and we hug before going back to set.

Hannah and I head back onto set and film the last few scenes for the chorus. The final scene is a stunning shot that starts pans the entire desert at sunset. We are placed at our marks, which are far away from each other. The assistant announces "Three bells. Roll sound. Rolling, ACTION!" The last line echoes through the speaker:

"In your wildest dreams, ah, ha"

During the beginning of the line, the camera starts in my direction with my character standing and staring full of longing at Hannah. With the progression of the line being sung, the camera moves steadily from me to Hannah, as if it's on an invisible string between us. Hannah is on the other side looking up to the sky at first, then at the very last millisecond during the breathy, "ha", turns to face me with a piercing gaze.

"CUT!" The director leaps out of his chair. Hannah and I stay in our spots, and I hear other crew members saying, "checking" amongst each other. There is then a brief moment of silence, and in that silence, I can feel the weight of all the hard work the crew has done this last week to turn a creative dream into something real. The silence then breaks...

"WE ARE WRAPPED ON "WILDEST DREAMS!"

Everyone cheers out and claps with hands full of joy and pride. Hannah and I, still standing far away at our marks, shake our heads at each other in disbelief. The good kind of disbelief, the one stemming from "holy shit I can't believe we did that; we made something so beautiful in the desert that took a week of 12 hour days, but here we are, still standing tall." I can see the grin on her face and can't help but let mine be just as wide. We begin running towards each other, then she springs into my arms. We kiss right there, in the night sky of the desert, in the middle of our invisible string.

The crew finishes packing up equipment and sending it off into other cruisers so that we can all meet for dinner at the same time. Hannah and I quickly get changed in the dressing room; no words spoken, just the same silly smiles of euphoria that we had when we kissed during the wrap. We don't want to waste time conversing in the walls of a shack in a desert; we wanna go to the damn restaurant and eat, drink, and maybe even sing. We race outside and meet Paris who is already outside waiting at our cruiser. We all leap in and Paris begins, "I cannot even express how proud of you two I am. Between making beautiful art, making beautiful love—" "Excuse ME?" Hannah interrupts with massive laughter. "What? Can I not say lovemaking, which is clearly happening between you two, is beautiful—" "PARIS, STOP IT!" Hannah interrupts again, and this time I can't help from laughing so hard that I'm throwing myself into the seat; I'm laughing that kind of laugh where you WHEEZE after.