You Are My Wildest Dream

Scene 2

"So, I'll leave you two here to discuss the upcoming scene and vision. I'm sure when Hannah is ready, she'll come back out of her dressing room. She's probably just trying to calm down that channeled character inside of her!" Paris explains. "I know you said today we are shooting out of order because of the upcoming weather. Can I take a look at the script?" I ask her as I point to the folder still on the table, except by now it has a few coffee drips stained on it. "Oh, of course, angel!" Paris excitedly replies and picks up the folder to pass it to me. "If you have any questions you can ask me, I'll be outside talking to the crew! Or, ask Hannah, I know she'll be back out soon to start discussing it with you." She gets up and leaves to head outside to set. I sit here, alone at the table, internally emotional as hell, and petrified to see what the scene is for today. No matter what it says, I know my brain will shoot to the worst-case scenario. I lightly run my shaky fingers all over the folder and take deep breaths. "This is ridiculous. Just open it!" I say to myself. Before I give the anxiety any more time to take over, I toss it open and find the part of the song we're shooting:

You'll see me in hindsight

Tangled up with you all night

Burnin' it down

Someday when you leave me

I bet these memories

Follow you around

"Fuck." I whisper out loud to myself. I slowly close the folder, put it back down on the table, and lower my face into my hands. I sit there in silence for a few seconds and just let myself feel everything. I gain a moment of clarity and listen to my thoughts, "You know, honestly, this'll be a great scene to channel all the angst, emotions, sadness, and confusion. I'll let it out in the rawest way on set today. Yeah, today will be therapeutic. It'll all be okay."

I let out a smooth breath, and as I begin to sit back up in the chair I see Hannah coming out of her dressing room. I give her a little wave to greet her, and she immediately shoots her eyes down onto the floor as she walks over to the table. She takes a seat, "So, what's the script looking like for our job today?" I know she's asking this question out loud, but it's to herself. I can tell in her energy that she's barely even viewing me as a human being sitting right across from her. She puts her whole hand down onto the folder and slides it forcefully over to herself to open it up. I try to slyly watch her eyes, waiting to see any sort of emotion on her face as she gets down to her own lyrics that we're filming today. She displays nothing. Not a breath, not a sigh, not even a backtrack in her eyes that had to go to re-read it. She simply says, "Okay, cool. See you on set!" She stands up, pushes her chair in, and walks straight back to her dressing room. Ouch x 2,000.