You Are My Wildest Dream

Paris in Paris

As our laughter begins to subdue, we finally start to pass around some hors d'oeuvres before digging into our bowls. We share black olives, vegan cheese cubes, and bread with olive oil. As we're all passing and snacking, we begin sharing stories about our favorite meals growing up. Paris beings to share about her mom making pizza fritta, which was her favorite dessert every Sunday. "They were these perfect clouds of chewy dough and sugar!" Paris exclaims. Hannah shares next and mentions how growing up her parents rarely cooked. So, her favorite thing to do was order takeout from a restaurant called "The Bistro" in Rhode Island, which I then learned is where her family owns a vacation house, and has for many years; it's a generational property. Her whole family would go out to The Bistro every few nights, but Hannah said it was "too fancy" for her liking at 14 years old because the "napkins were too stiff", so she'd call in delivery the second her family left. "I used to order EVERYTHING; from fries to crab legs to a mini charcuterie board. I had a very eclectic palate, even at 14." We all giggle in amusement, but also nod our heads in agreement, as this very much so sounds like present-day Hannah too.

Their stories jog my memory of the flashback I had earlier in the kitchen — the one of my dad on the lake back home in Italy. I tell them how little me would eat my lunch, which was grapes, cheese, and prosciutto, and watch my dad out on the water from our dock. "Wow," Hannah states, "..So you weren't vegan since the womb?" "No, I wasn't, I was eating my thin flappy meats, alright?" I continue to tell them how I'd watch my dad out in the water, and we'd scream those random noises to each other so that the mountains surrounding the lake would echo them back to each of us. "I can just picture you having to stand up to make your tiny voice louder. You're so soft-spoken, I'm sure you were even quieter as a kid," Hannah says. "Honestly? I was a bit more wild as a kid; I would swim all day, walk the beach, jump from our dock, and even ride the local cable car up and down the mountain all by myself." I pause to smile at all of these activities I used to do under the warm Italian sun. "Oh, and, don't worry about little Rowan's voice, I promise you it was very loud. I was almost at dolphin frequency one time."

As we all sit in the nostalgic energy flowing around the table from our shared stories, we start to contently eat our dinner. Paris digs into her penne, Hannah adjusts her bowties, and I twirl my angel hair. The majority of our meal is spent in comfortable silence, mainly because the pasta is so damn good, and also because of the internal reflection of the stories we shared sparking more memories. After one of my last bites, I speak up to tell Hannah and Paris how this all reminded me to call my parents after we finish up. I ask them if they'd be cool with me Facetiming my mom after we're all done eating, as she'd love to see the decor on the table, plus the very two brilliant women I've had the pleasure of working with these last few days, with one now being MY GIRLFRIEND?! They both happily nod in agreement and eagerly express their excitement to meet my parents ~digitally~. 

We all finish up and breathe out of our bellies as a sign of a lovely and very filling dinner. "Alright, is everyone ready to meet them?" I ask aloud. "YES!" Paris exclaims. "Yes, but, should we tell them about us? What's the plan, what do you wanna do?" Hannah asks. OH, fuck, yeah that's true. I have a brief moment of internal panic, as not only is sharing my intimate emotions with a partner a current learning hurdle but sharing the news of a partner with my parents is one I haven't had to do in a while either. Hannah immediately starts to pick up on my facial expressions because God damn I can hide everything else (unintentionally) but not those?! "Hey, we don't have to," Hannah says to me with support, but I can't help but notice the dull look in her eyes. "Oh, no, it's not that I don't want to; you are absolutely perfect." I pause to give Hannah a small affirming kiss on her cheek. "It's more like I simply haven't done this in a while so it's all the new jitters again. They're going to adore you like I do, for some reason it's just the act of saying things out loud. Sometimes I wish everyone could just read my mind." Paris chimes in to add, "But, they cannot." "You're right, they cannot. So, I have to do the next best thing; tell them myself." 

I click on my mom's contact and tap the Facetime button. It takes only a second to ring before I hear her enthusiastically saying, "Amore! My baby, how are you?" While blushing in front of Hannah and Paris, I reply, "I'm good! I miss you and dad! And, of course, Loo and Carmela; please give them each a treat sent lovingly from their favorite sister, Rowan." My mom laughs, then quickly becomes puzzled. "I don't recognize that background, where are you? Are you working right now?" My mom asks concerned. "No, no, I'm not working right now, mom. I was invited to a lovely dinner hosted by an even lovelier person — Paris!" I turn my phone to show Paris to my mom, as Paris waves eagerly. "Your daughter is precious! You two did a great job!" Paris states. My mom smiles so wide that I think I can see the very edges of Lake Como on her face. "Oh, mom, I called because I wanted to show you all the decor Paris did! Plus, you had to finally meet her and Hannah." As I begin panning my phone all around the table, I feel Hannah gripping my thigh out of nervousness. I know she knows how much my family means to me and how much I mean to them, but she hasn't been able to see just how much love we all have for everyone else too; there is love to be found and spread everywhere, which is our philosophy! My parents love and accept everyone as they are, and it doesn't stop there. They also advocate and encourage honesty and divine truth, but when you come from another household that isn't so open like mine, I know it's hard to believe when something like us is true and real.

"Oh my gosh, the little Italian flags! Paris, wow oh wow, you're delightful!" My mom compliments. Paris makes kissy lips and brings her hand up to them, then sends them off for my mom to catch on the screen. I laugh at their cute charades, then flip the camera front-facing to see Hannah and me side by side. Hannah waits for my mom to speak up first, which doesn't take long at all, "WOW. Hannah, you are breathtaking. You remind me of Milano in the wintertime; just absolutely gorgeous and beautiful and angelic." A side of Hannah I've never seen emerges; she immediately becomes shy and reserved at my mom's grand compliment. "Wow, thank you, you are just so kind and sweet!" Hannah replies. I think to myself that Hannah might be feeling uncomfortable right now, as my mom doesn't know about us, nor the rest of my family, OR her own family. I wonder what would be the quickest way to eliminate that feeling, as I never want to endure a sense of alienation. In a moment of quick hypothesis, and also just trying to channel some common sense, I speak up, "Oh, hey, mom. I totally agree with you; Hannah is completely gorgeous, and beautiful, and angelic, just like you said. And, as I've gotten to know her, she's also caring, and adventurous, and is already helping me be the best version of myself possible." I pause to turn to Hannah, whose eyes have filled with a glow now. That's enough confirmation for me to continue, so I do, "And, all of these reasons are why we are dating now. We're together!" My mom remains silent for a moment. I put my arm around Hannah's shoulders to bring her closer to me and comfort her. "Well, honey..." My mom trails, then continues, "do you want me to act surprised? I know acting is your thing, but I can try?" Hannah, Paris, and I all pause and look at each other, and then burst out laughing. "WHAT?! HOW DID YOU KNOW TOO, MOM?! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN HERE IN THE DESERT WITH US." Between more giggles, laughs, and sighs of relief, my mom speaks up again to us, "Let's just say, when the moon hits your eye... a mom can usually see the big pizza pie that's making the amore." This stellar comment from my mom earns her yet another laugh from all of us, plus a round of applause.

"Okay, okay, mom. Tell dad I said I love and miss him too, and that I'll talk to him tomorrow after work. We are going to get back to our night—" My mom interrupts me to say, "Okay my love. Please tell me too that you're still good to watch the house here after you wrap?" I instantly reply, "Of course! All good to come back to my favorite slice of heaven. Love you lots."

As I'm hanging up the Facetime call with my mom, I notice Hannah looking sad and puzzled; it's like she wants to ask about why I'll be going back to the house in Italy after we're done, but she doesn't want to overstep. Tonight has brought out sides to her that I haven't seen before, but instead of internalizing her characteristics, I'm removing myself from that equation and letting them confirm to me that she's just that much more human, which I love. But, I don't want her feeling upset. I decide that if she seems off tomorrow, I should bring it up and have a conversation with her about it. 

"Okay girls, next on my agenda for our evening of fun, I was thinking a Disney movie? What do we think?" Paris asks endearingly, looking to both of us for approval and ideas. "Well, since we already went to Italy, why not go to France? We should watch Ratatouille, that way Paris can be in Paris." Hannah jokes, and before we know it, we're all on Paris's cloud couch watching a rat be a professional chef for the rest of the night. Bon Appétit.