Jade Awakening

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Before I even set foot in my house, I could hear the typical commotion between my parents. The yelling became a regular occurrence about 4 months ago for reasons I don't know -- that is, they won't tell me why. The first time I saw them have an explosive fight was at the dinner table because Mom had forgotten to refill the salt shaker. It was the smallest possible inconvenience, which led to a small mutter under Dad's breath, which led to Mom making a defensive statement, which led to a fallacious comeback, and so on.

Neither my younger brother nor I knew how to react as they escalated, so we just sat in our seats trying to appear as small as possible so that we could be avoided in their attacks. After the first few, uncalled for fights had occurred, I think my parents tried to reconcile by surprising Jasper and me with the things both of us had longed for for quite some time. For Jasper, they bought the newest Pear product gaming console with a headset. He is almost always on that console now, playing some car chase game. For me, they had enrolled me into Hollywood Arts. I think Mom came to the decision to let me go to the school by herself, because Dad makes it very clear that he thinks it's a waste of time. In any case, I was overjoyed.

The gifts can only distract for so long, though. As I step through the front door, I wonder: What could it be this time? Did Dad forget to rotate the laundry? Did Mom have the TV on too loud? What small thing could be setting them off and going at each other's throats? I decided I didn't care and wouldn't let their yelling ruin the rest of my day.

I went straight to my room, avoiding being seen, and exhaled audibly after I closed my door. A heavy weight lifted after I plopped down on the bed. As I tried to ignore the muffled argument, I took just a moment to do nothing but look around the room.

The bedsheets I laid on were very plain -- the duvet covered in soft stripes, and the sheets solid white. I didn't have many things in my room anymore after I purged many childhood objects. Stuffed animals, dolls, make-up kits, and trinkets had been donated and left this room pretty barren. None of those things felt right to have anymore, but the rest of the room didn't feel right either. The only quality I actually liked here were the walls. They were covered in a beautiful dark wood wainscotting that had nothing around it to compliment. Maybe one day I could give this place the makeover it desperately needs.

My mind skipped over to another thought that had been tugging at me all day. Ryder. Up until this morning, I hadn't given him a second thought and, presumably, vice versa. But somehow, so quickly, he charmed me. The wink, the touch of his hand, the touch of our thighs together made me wobbly. This was the first time anyone had displayed interest in me so... directly.

Or maybe what I'm thinking is flirtation is just how he is. Am I reading into things? Or was he actually trying to be flirty? Maybe that's why he wants me to go to his house... so he can seduce me?

"Oh don't think so highly of yourself," I scolded.

I laid down completely on the bed and looked at the blank ceiling while I continued to let my mind wander. Okay, so he might not be interested in me, but for fun, let's imagine that he is. He could be my first real kiss! I pictured him leaning his face down to mine, parting my lips with his.

He could be my first. He's not bad looking at all... I wonder what he looks like underneath his clothes... He probably has nice abs, maybe a little "happy trail" of hair going down to his groin...

And then my imaginations got a little hazy. I had a general idea of what the male anatomy looked like, but not in any detail. Oh my god! I thought condescendingly. You wouldn't even know what to do with... that. But it's not likely that he'll want to engage in those kinds of activities anyway...

Thankfully, we live in an age where any information that we want to know is within reach thanks to the internet. I opened my PearPhone and went to Google. I felt a little dumb yet devious when I typed in "penis" into the search bar. Most of the images that popped up were basic textbook ones that I've already seen before. But I knew that that's not exactly what a real one would look like. So I tried typing "nude man" into the search bar. The images for this search were much more promising.

I inspected the photos carefully. I understood that when a penis is small and flaccid, the man is not sexually aroused and that when it is engorged and erect, he is aroused.

I thought about the men in these photos. On one site, almost all of them had erect penises. They all want to be touched. The thought of being able to provide another person that amount of pleasure was within itself arousing. I had been aroused before and knew how to take care of my own body — how to touch myself. But how do they like to be touched?

I, again, felt very foolish as I searched "how to touch a penis." I scrolled down until I found a video. My heart started beating faster again. I carefully studied how the woman in the video was gently stroking the man's penis with one clasped hand. Touching him right under the head of it seemed to give him a little extra pleasure. The sounds he made had a terrible effect on me.

The woman in the video moved down, took the man's member into her mouth, and bobbed her head. The member disappeared and reappeared as she moved up and down on him. I had never seen this act done before and, again, wanted to be the one who gives a man this kind of satisfaction. He was clearly enjoying himself even though the sounds he was making now almost seemed to be sounds of agony.

His body started tensing up and his toes curled. His breathing picked up all of a sudden until he wasn't breathing at all. He went rigid for a moment and held his breath until he grunted very loudly. On that grunt he pushed his hips a little harder into the woman's mouth while she continued her ministrations. After a short moment, she drew herself away from him, showed the camera the milky-white substance in her mouth, and then swallowed it.

Feeling as though I've committed a crime, I deleted the tab I was on, cleared my search history, and put my phone on the nightstand.

I closed my eyes and tried imagining what Ryder would look like again. He probably has nice abs, maybe a little "happy trail" of hair going down to his groin... a fully erect penis who needs my attention. His eyes have a glossed haze. He yearns to be touched. When I touch him there he lets out small moans.

My heart was still beating very fast and I felt a small pounding in between my legs — almost like a heartbeat. I slipped my hand under my underwear and felt the heat giving off and the dampness of the tender skin of my own anatomy. I'd been horny before, but not nearly as horny as this moment.

I used both hands — one to enter myself and one to rub my clitoris — while I thought of doing to Ryder what the woman from the video did to the man. I penetrated and massaged myself rapidly and climaxed at the visualization of Ryder orgasming due to my touch — both bodies going rigid in pure ecstasy.

I didn't notice before that the bedroom door wasn't locked, but thankfully my parents were still arguing with each other downstairs and Jasper was probably playing a game in his room. Once I came down from my high, I felt the need to pee and take a long nap. I quickly walked to the bathroom and saw that my lips were extra red when I looked into the mirror. I felt a little disgusted for what I did, but certainly didn't regret it. Finally peeing afterwards was its own pleasure.

I made my way back to bed and slept soundly.