Jade Awakening

Home Not-So-Sweet Home

As soon as I believed that the two attackers had entirely abandoned the scene, I let out a breath that I had been holding for too long. My heart beat caught up with my adrenaline rush and I thought that it might burst out of my chest. It was quiet enough now that I could faintly hear the beating in my ears. Suddenly, I felt very unsteady and thought that I might be having a delayed panic attack.

On my short, remaining walk home, I tried to regulate my breathing so that I would not completely lose my sanity or pass out. I clutched onto my new, rusty scissors as an object of security – they felt oddly grounding to have with me now.

I noticed that the black BMW that had been absent for the past couple weeks had found its return in my driveway. Dad was back home. I hoped to God, if there is one, that he would be asleep so that I could just go straight to bed and forget that the past 20 minutes ever happened.

After quietly shutting the front door behind me and stealthily creeping toward the staircase, someone loudly cleared their throat from the living room. I felt a new wave of exhaustion flood over me knowing that I was about to hear a lecture from Dad and I wouldn't be able to get out of it.

"Where do you think you're going, missy?"

I moved only so far so that we could see each other's faces, but I didn't enter the living room.

"To bed. I'm tired."

"Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Late, that's why I'm trying to go to slee-"

"It's past midnight. What the hell have you been doing all night?"

"I was out with some friends from school. And I let mom know that I was going to be late, so what's the big deal?"

"Watch your tone. The deal is that you're behaving like a little brat and you have been ever since you started going to that damned school. You should be home and studying after school, not goofing off for all hours of the night. Wh- what were you even doing with those vagrants, huh? Playing spin the bottle and smoking weed?"

"Jesus Christ, Dad. First of all, my friends are not vagrants and they're better than any friends I would have made at North Ridge. Second, this has been the only night that I have ever been out and it's the weekend! We just had dinner and watched a movie. Can the interrogation be done now? I want to go to sleep."

"You're telling me you didn't do anything else tonight? Because your hair is a disaster and I know that look on your face: you're hiding something."

There was a moment of silence between us. I would rather die than tell him what happened after the movie and I cursed at myself for not noticing that the attackers must have messed up my appearance.

"Oh now you have nothing to say? What the hell were you and those scoundrels doing all night? Hm?"

"Nothing. Will you drop it? Don't pretend that you actually care about what I do when you've been gone for weeks! What about you, Dad? What have you been doing all that time – spending some quality time with your new girlfriend?"

He got up from his seat and marched to me with a face of fury but I didn't stand down.

"What I do is none of your business, little lady. You better get your attitude straightened out before I pull you out of Hollywood Arts early."

"Oh, so you can judge me but I can't judge you, is that it? You're literally cheating on Mom and you feel like you can tell me how to act? Dad of the year everyone!"

Behind me, I heard Mom's distinct footsteps coming down the stairs.

"You two are going to wake up Jasper with all this commotion," she hushed at us. "Jade honey, you're not in trouble, just go to bed."

I felt that I had made a small victory against my dad and owed some thanks to my mother. I took no time to take my leave.

As I ascended the stairs, I could still hear some of the conversation between my parents and curiosity forced me to listen in on their words.

"You shouldn't even be here, William. I packed the rest of your things hours ago, you should take them and leave."

"Excuse me if I wanted to see my kids first. They clearly need an authority figure around here."

"You're going to end up pushing them away from you if you keep being so hard on them – especially Jade. Can't you see that you're only making her resent you?"

"I don't care what she thinks about me. She'll see things my way when she finally grows up a little."

"For your sake, I hope you're right. Then again, I don't care much about your sake anymore. In fact, I would be glad to never see your face in this house ever again."

He didn't say anything in return, understanding why she said what she did. Why can he understand her and not me?

"Your lawyer will be hearing from mine soon," he finally said as he picked up a tote and walked out the door.

***

As much as this house should feel like a safe haven from the rest of the world, I found that I didn't want to be here much at all. Half the time I approached the front door all year, I had to brace myself for some form of impending doom. At least with Dad being out of the picture now, presumably, I wouldn't have to worry about that quite as much. Still, I didn't have a space that felt entirely secure to me.

As I tried to fall asleep in my bed, I decided that I would make small changes to my room to make it feel more like me. The thought had been in my mind for quite some time, but I had more of an impulse now to act on it. Maybe I could benefit from some real change.

I set an alarm for myself and put the phone aside. Though I tried to suppress my endless train of thought, I couldn't help but to recall the terrible events of the later part of the evening. I was sick of terrible things happening to me and feeling like I might break from an overruling of emotion. Tears broke free as they always do and once they did, I gave into the grief.  

The next chapter will be posted very soon!  Stay tuned!