"Melchior Gabor?"
"Wendla Bergmann?! Like a tree nymph fallen from the branches. What are you doing alone up here?"
"Mama's making May wine. I thought I'd surprise her with some woodruff. And you?"
"This is my favorite spot. My private place – for thinking."
Beck and I had run through these lines an uncountable number of times before. With a strong use of imagination, it felt like we were reliving a memory over and over again. In place of the green carpet of Beck's RV, I could see the spring meadow of the woods that I, or Wendla, was wandering through. In place of the script in my hand, I saw myself holding the basket of flowers to give to Mama. In Beck's hand, there would be a journal in which Melchior writes down his most curious and deepest thoughts.
"Oh," I stammer, "I'm sorry-"
"No-no. Please."
A beat.
"So," he asks. "How have you been doing?"
It was such a cathartic feeling for Beck and I to be acting out two characters who have a sense of attraction toward each other, but are unsure of what to do about it. As we carry out the conversation between Melchior and Wendla, he discreetly inches closer to me. When I have to ask what time it is – afraid that it might be getting late – he suggests that I sit with him for just a moment longer. We can't express it directly, but both in character and in reality, we don't want to leave each other.
"...When you lie here, such a strange, wonderful peace settles over you," he urges.
"Well, for a moment maybe."
I move to sit next to Beck on the floor of the "meadow," and lean with him against the base of the oak tree (his futon). As our characters, we have to create tension on stage by barely even allowing our shoulders to touch. But as myself, I desperately want to lean into his side and know the feeling of his arm over me.
The duet we enter from here is a perfect one. I feel as though the words I'm singing are exactly what my heart wants to say. The line separating Wendla from myself at this moment is blurred beyond recognition. I wonder if it feels the same for Beck.
Just too unreal, all this
...
Haven't you heard the word of your body?
...
Haven't you heard the word of my wanting?
...
Just too unreal, all this
Watching his world slip through my fists
Playing with her in your fantasies
Haven't you heard the word of how I want you?
...
There's a slight awkwardness to singing with each other without the music playing in the background and without the presence of Sikowitz and the cast in the wings. Still, I sing every line with intentionality and admire the way our voices harmonize with each other. Slowly, our characters move to an embrace and have a private pas de deux. When we come to a close, Wendla says:
"The sun's setting, Melchior. Truly, I'd better go."
He reaches to hold my hand and suggests, "We'll go together. I'll have you on the bridge in ten minutes."
YOU ARE READING
Jade Awakening
Fanfiction"So... acting is really about not acting. But instead about letting the emotions inside you come out and represent moments that deeply resonate with you.... I need to write that down!" An exploration of Jade West's backstory and the beginnings of B...
