Jade Awakening

Dinner at the West House

I didn't pin much hope on my audition from Friday. When I left the theater, I felt weak from the scene that I had to act out with that Beck guy. Even though it wasn't his fault, I couldn't help but feel revolted with him caressing my body. It was like reopening a wound; a very fresh wound. Having the memory of Ryder's hands and body on my skin and having the feeling of pain and emptiness return completely threw me off. I had to hand it to Beck though. The way he delivered his lines were perfectly responsive to the way I was acting. If anything salvaged my chances for this show, he would be to thank.

Now sitting on the couch in the living room, I was scrolling through the announcements on the school's website, hoping to find more opportunities. Even if I managed to get into the ensemble for Spring Awakening, it wouldn't be big enough to prove my dream's worth to my dad. My searching didn't yield many worthy results though. All I could find was a pantomime play and a retelling of Little Red Riding Hood -- neither of which gave me any promise.

Eventually I gave up searching and opted for scrolling through social media instead. Cat shared a picture of her stuffed animal collection on The Slap, Ginger Fox's new song just went viral on YouTube, and Tawny Walkerblack shared her excitement for her new movie on Twitter.

A few years ago, Tawny Walkerblack was in Hintless, which was one of my favorite teen romcom movies. I made a mental note to myself that I should go see whatever her next movie is in theatres.

Suddenly, I could smell the product of my mother's work coming from the kitchen. She was making eggplant parmesan for dinner while Jasper and I kept to ourselves in the living room. He would occasionally hit his toys together which drove me up a wall, but I kept my frustration contained as I continued scrolling aimlessly. After several minutes, Mom called us to dinner and Dad's car pulled into the driveway much later than usual.

I grabbed a small helping of food and braced myself for an inevitable argument. As soon as I went to sit, my dad entered the room and gave my mom a thanks-for-making-dinner-how-was-your-day kiss on the cheek. I take notice of another scent in the air, but I can't quite pinpoint what it is.

"Wait," she said as he turned to grab himself a plate. "Why are you home so late?"

Oh. Picking fights already, Mom?

"We had a ton of paperwork to complete and two guys took a PTO day, so we were swamped," he gruffed.

I picked at my eggplant parmesan, not interested in their adult conversation. I still can't put my finger on what that smell is -- jasmine? Rose?

"Shrek has a swamp!" Jasper tried adding. "Were you in a swamp like his, Dad?"

"No, son."

"Aw man. That would've been really cool. I want to be like Shrek when I grow up -- he does whatever he wants in his swamp."

"Hmm. It seems both of my children want to live in a fantasy," he jabs as he sits down with his plate.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask defensively. This time it feels like I'm picking the fight.

"Oh, don't you start. You know very well what I mean. Acting is not a serious profession."

"Well, it's better than anything you'd choose for me. The last thing I want is to be a statistician," I say with some snob.

"Ha! You want to talk about statistics? Here's one for you: did you know only one in ninety thousand people actually make it as a professional actor? That's with 4 zeros, Jade. That makes your dreams worth as much as a big, fat pile of garbage."