This time when Wendla runs into Melchior, she tells him of her friend who gets abused. Having never been struck by anyone before, she shares that she wonders what it must be like to be hit or whipped.
"You know," I say in character, "I've never been beaten. Not once. I can't even imagine it. It must be just awful."
"I don't believe anyone is ever better for it."
"I've tried hitting myself – to find out how it feels, really, inside."
I pretend to pick up a small branch from off Beck's green carpet.
"With this switch, for example," I say. "It's tough, and thin."
I offer the invisible thing to Beck; he whips it through the air which, if it were real, would have made a "shoosh" sound.
"It could draw blood," he says.
"You mean if you beat me with it?"
"Beat you? Wendla, what are you thinking?"
"Nothing," I say, meekly.
"I could never beat you."
"But if I let you?"
"Never," he says seriously as he looks deep into my eyes.
"But if I asked you to?"
"Have you lost your mind?"
"Martha Bessell, she told me-"
"Wendla! You can't envy someone being beaten."
"But I've never been beaten my entire life! I've never... felt..."
"What?" he presses.
"Anything."
When he doesn't respond, I say, "Please. Melchior," and offer the back of my thighs as a place to strike.
After another moment of consideration, he concedes and pretends to whip me with the switch. I act as if I can feel the searing pain and hiss through my teeth. I tell him that I can barely feel it – that he should strike harder.
"Come on. Please," I say.
He grabs me firmly by my arm and snarls into my ear, "I'll teach you to say 'please.'"
The switch strikes harder against Wendla and though the pain is impossible to bear, she eggs Melchior on. For surely Martha's father doesn't hold back when he hits her – she wants to understand that excruciating pain.
"How's that?" he strikes.
"Nothing," Wendla lies.
"And that?"
"Nothing."
"You bitch! I'll beat the hell out of you."
As scripted, Beck throws the pretend switch aside and throws me to the ground. I knew it was coming, but it still caught me off guard when I felt his forceful hands on my shoulders as he shoved my body below his. I lost my sense of rationality for a moment and became frightened at the imbalance of power. I am thankful for the script telling me that Wendla should cry at this moment, and so I let myself feel my fright.
Melchior is horrified with himself for letting his rage overtake his better judgement. He abandons Wendla in the forest, still crying. The scene ends here.
"Wow," Beck says in his normal tone. "I wish I could cry for real on cue – that was amazing! I didn't push too hard did I?"
"No, not at all!" I assure him as I compose myself. And truthfully, he didn't.
YOU ARE READING
Jade Awakening
Fanfiction"So... acting is really about not acting. But instead about letting the emotions inside you come out and represent moments that deeply resonate with you.... I need to write that down!" An exploration of Jade West's backstory and the beginnings of B...
