Abditory [H.S]

1

Here goes nothing.

Luella Jones

"Thank you" I say as I leave the bakery shop, looking back at the young man who just handed me the bag full of bread.

It's a sunny day, surprisingly for a day at the end of November, the sun hitting my eyes as soon as I step on the block. I walk straight ahead the London streets, my black shoes hitting the floor in repeat.

I keep my head down, avoiding anyone passing by, it's not like they want to look at a girl at 7am dressed up in grey sweatpants and a large black hoodie.

Yes, it's 7am. I don't even normally wake up at a time that early, but I can't say I even slept for an hour. I've been awake since yesterday.

It's also Sunday, meaning I need to finish my Monday’s school homework. It's my last year in school, and I'm so ready to get out of there.

Some people say college is even harder, but I'm taking the risk to get out of my parents' house anytime soon.

Just this morning I went down to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich. Yet there is no bread. How am I supposed to make a grilled cheese sandwich without the toast? Do I look like a baker?

Well, I do bake in my free time, but I've lost motivation to learn anything but cake, or those Christmas cookies I do for my siblings in winter.

I look up as I reach the road I'm supposed to cross, not bothering to look both ways before walking. I walk carefully, yet slowly, not wanting to trip and make a fool out of myself in front of the old people sitting on the bench nearby.

Knowing myself I'd definitely do so.

That'd be like top five most embarrassing moments in my life.

I arrive at my house after a couple of minutes, reaching into the keys and unlocking the door to see my dad sat down on the couch, tying his shoes to get ready for work. Great, just my luck.

He looks up and notices the bag in my hand.

Here it goes.

"What's that in your hand?" He questions as he stands up to walk to me. Really? Not even a good morning?

I put my keys on the table beside the door, taking a deep breath before answering "It's toast, I went to the bakery to get some."
I cut him off before he has the chance to ask "I found a few bucks on the counter and took them to buy some of it."

He sighs "Luella, we've talked about this, you can't go buying toast every couple of days, you can make something other than a sandwich."

I knew where this is going, and that's why I was in such a hurry.

"Its fine, it wasn't that much. Plus, it's not like I have a sandwich every day." I murmur the last part, not wanting him to hear about the fact I barely ever have breakfast.

"Still, you know how we get in the last few days of the month, don't go spending money on useless stuff like that, just crack an egg and call it a day." He says as he holds onto the door knob, twisting it to get out. "I'll see you when I get back. Bye." He says as he shuts the door behind him rather quickly.

"Bye" I say in a soft tone. Going into the kitchen to put the toast on the counter.

I stand there hopelessly staring at it, thinking about whether to make that sandwich or not.

They always do this, I don't know why but it just demotivates me to actually eat any longer.

I sigh. "Fuck it" I say to myself, heading to the stairs leading to my room. Maybe my siblings will eat it when they wake up, for now, I, myself, have lost the appetite.

I enter my room shutting the door behind me quietly, so I don’t wake anyone up.

I push the chair of my desk to sit on, ready to sit down on it for the next few hours doing homework.

I'm always like this, waiting for the last minute to do them. I know it's bad, but it kind of motivates me more.

                                   ~~~

Short chap but it's only the beginning so whatever.