Abditory [H.S]

26

TW: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.

P.s: I'll let you know when to play the song.

Luella Jones

The mighty waves crashed beneath the salty haze in a rhythm as the moon shinned brightly against the clouds, high up to warm the ocean vessels under the stars.

Shells scattered across the sand, little stones either hiding underneath it or on top of the ground in a line.

The sound of the waves coming like a song through my ears, I laid down on top of a blanket I have brought with me to the beach.

I have been here for hours, lost in the night sky I'm staring at while the stars danced around in it.

I brought a blanket with me because I knew I'd want to lay down, and I wasn't gonna fill my hair with sand tonight.

I keep counting the stars, but everytime I'd try to begin with it I end up doing it again because I'd get lost mesmerized by them all.

I slipped a bit of the alcohol on my jumper earlier, went in fully to soak down my breast.

It was chilly, I felt a bit cold but I dealt with it. Looking down I notice that there's just a big stain now, replaced by the wet one from the wine.

I stole this from the many, many bottles of wine on the kitchen counter that were gifted from our neighbors as a congratulations from them on the new car, so I doubt my parents will notice one is gone.

The one I took had a card on it, poorly written a 'congratulations', so I grabbed it and went away, doing my usual stroll to the beach I'm in right now.

I still haven't finished packing, I left my suitcase opened on my floor and snuck away from my window after I grabbed the wine bottle.

As I walked here I made sure to glance at every spot on the beach, wanting to see if Harry is here as well, but I didn't even see an expensive car once.

I'm kind of sad about it, but I don't wanna let it effect me, he ditched me first.

Fiona has been texting me about something, but I don't wanna check my phone now because I know it's probably about Rylee since I saw the first text from the notifications.

I'm too tired for her boy problems right now, even when I feel bad about leaving her on delivered when I'm awake.

                         *play song here*

I'm just not in the mood to talk to anybody. I'm annoyed by everything and everyone. I want to cry so bad and sob for hours but at the same time I wanna punch a brick wall. I wanna yell at my heart for feeling this way but I also want to protect it from every little harm that comes to it.

I wanna hug someone so badly, just holding onto their arms tightly and never letting go of them for absolutely no fucking reason.

I think I've reached a point where nothing hurts me as badly as it used to do anymore.

I just simply don't care anymore.

I take the last long sip of my bottle, tossing it on the sand beside me as I get up.

I feel like I'm out of my mind right now.

I take off my shoes, getting my hair tie out of the low pony tail I had put it in, putting it around my wrist and moving towards the water.

I step onto the wet sand, my naked feet pushing into it with every step I take until I feel the waves around my knees, pushing me back but I hold on steadily.