Lily Black

Chapter 42: What Took So Long?

Weeks later I was supposed to go back to my dorm but Sirius and Lupin came and said they were going to take me to number 12 grimmauld place for a little bit. I still had to do my work. It was sent by an owl but at least I was not at school.

"Here you go." Lupin said delivering my breakfast.

"What took so long?" I asked, looking down.

"What do you mean?" Lupin asked.

"What took so long to find me?!" I asked standing up out of bed.

"Lily we tried-" Lupin started but I cut him off.

"Don't give me that 'oh we tried'!" I screamed. Sirius came running in.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"What took so long to find me! I was tortured for 2 weeks!" I yelled.

"We looked everywhere." Sirius said.

"Why did you not think to look at Malfoy manor? You know they are bad people so why did you not put 2 and 2 together!" I asked

"Hermione noticed you were not on the train but they thought you were with George. When they saw George later they asked where you were. He said he thought you were with them. They got concerned and looked around at dinner when they could not find you, they told Dumbledore and McGonagall. Who then told us. It took us a few days to try to come up with who took you then we had to locate you then figure out how to get you out." Remus said.

"It may have been only 2 weeks to you but it was a lifetime for me!" I said.

"Lily tell us what happened!" Sirius said.

"Fine you want to know what happened to me? I was crucio'd 5 times for 14 days. That's 70 times? And you know what I am still here to tell you about it. I did not go insane!" I screamed.

"Lily, I am so sorry." Lupin said.

"Oh that's not all. I was given 2 oz of water everyday. I got no food!" I said starting to cry.

"Lily-" Sirius said.

"I am still not done! Bellatrix used legilimency on me to find out the order secrets. I had to hold her out after being crucio'd 5 times! I never wanted to be part of this stupid order and now it almost got me killed because my dad if freakin Sirius black!" I said.

"Did you let any order secrets out? If you did we need to know Lily." Sirius said.

"Really? I just told you I was tortured and starved and had my brain dug into and I don't get an 'are you ok?' I get a 'did you let out any order secret.' No I did not, you have no idea how hard that was!" I screamed.

"Lily-" Sirius started.

"Get out." I said. "Get out!" I screamed, pushing them both out the door and closing it with magic.

The next day I asked to be moved back to Hogwarts. When I came down I heard Sirius talking to what seemed like other order members in the kitchen.

"I am going to kill the Malfoys and Bellatrix for what they did to her!" I heard him yell. "I am going to storm that stupid manor of theres and...." He said but stopped.

"And what?" Moody asked.

"I don't know." He said with his voice quieting down.

"We already stormed their house once. Everyone got off ok with some scratches. The next time we could not be so lucky." Kingsley spoke in his cool tone.

"She was tortured there. She has tremors in her hand and she won't let anyone touch her besides Remus." Siruis said. "She jumps at the smallest sound. She wakes up screaming."

"I am sorry." I said in the doorway.

"Lily-" Sirius said.

"I am sorry. I am sorry I have tremors in my hands and I won't let anyone touch me. I am sorry I jump at the smallest sound. I am sorry I wake up screaming." I said.

"Oh Lily." Molly said coming to hug me but I jumped away. She backed up. Everyone looked at Lupin. He walked over to me and put his arms around me lightly.

I started crying in his arms. I put the full force of my body into his arms knowing that he would not let anything happen to me. Everyone was silent as I stood there crying in Lupin's arms. When I felt like it I pulled away from him.

"I know the screaming and the no touching is annoying but you can't judge me. I was- I was tortured there for 14 days. Until you know what that's like and know the pain you can't judge me. Trust me I don't want it either." I said.

"Can I give you a hug?" Sirius asked.

"No, I am sorry but not right now every time I look at you I see your cousins." I said. I could see that my words hurt him.

"Lupin, I would like to go to Hogwarts now." I said walking out of the kitchen. I stopped and turned back around peeking into the kitchen.

"And thanks for risking your lives to come and save me." I said before exiting the kitchen with Lupin close behind.