Heartache

Chapter 21 - Broken Pieces

Chapter 21 - Broken Pieces

Libby's P.O.V

2 Years Later

"Libs it's a dress, for goodness sakes just pick one" Dave moaned on the store couch. It's been two years now and finally the time came for mine and Jason's wedding. Unfortunately Jase had to go out for some work so I hadn't seen him for over six months. He said he would send me a letter telling me all the details about the wedding so I thought why not get ready whilst I wait for him, and that's exactly what I did. I went out shopping with Mag and Dave many times just looking for the perfect dress which I hadn't found until that very day.

"This is the one... It's perfect" I said twirling around in the white lacy gown in the fitting room.
"What do you think?" I asked them when I walked out the dressing room. They responded by their faces being mesmerised by the beautiful white wedding gown, until suddenly Mag began to cry.
"You look so beautiful" she said between her soft tears. Instantly I hugged her and began to get emotional myself.
"Alright now you two calm down" Dave said hovering over us. He looked at the shop keeper who seemed to be waiting for our answer. "We'll take it" he smiled and we headed home with me dreaming of the perfect wedding.

I woke up the next day wondering what it would be like to have Jason with me again.
"Libby hun come down there's something her for you" Dave bellowed from down stairs. Excitement rushed through my body as I grabbed my dressing gown and ran down the stairs.
"Ah here she comes. Libby this young gentleman will only give YOU this envelope although we all know who it's from" He said smirking at me. I quickly went to the door, signed the tab and grabbed the white envelope running to my room. Slamming the door behind me, I sat on the bed hesitating to open the letter. I gawked at my name in black block letters written on the front. Taking, my time I opened the envelope and took a white letter with sharp black italic handwriting. It was hand written.

Dear Lobster,

I know you've been waiting for my letter for a long time and I've tried my best not to make you wait, but whenever I was going to write to you something came up or my mind just went blank. Well I know it's been a while since we last spoke and I also know you won't forgive me after this but I have to tell you something. I don't really know how to start so I'll just come out with it.

 Libby you've become an amazingly unforgettable part of my life and you'll always mean the world to me. But I'm confused. I'm really sorry and I know sorry isn't enough but it's all I can say to you right now. There's nothing wrong with you it's just me, I'm not ready yet to take such a big step in my life. I mean we're still young, so we should explore the world first then think about moving on with our lives. I did want to tell you a while ago, I just never had the courage to tell you so I moved away, mainly to give myself some thinking time. I know it's a really cowardice action to make but I just couldn't face you. I'm sorry I can't marry you, but one thing I am sure of is that I always loved you from the minute I saw you and that too with all my heart and everything moment, every kiss we shared was true and unforgettable. I know you might never be able to forget about what I'm doing but I do hope you can forgive me.

I'll always remember you Libby Lentz. I truly hope you can move on in life and enjoy the rest of your life to the fullest. Take care Lobster.

Thank you for everything and I'm sorry it couldn't work out.

I'll never forget you.  

Jason xxx

I froze with the letter in-between my fingers. A tear rolled down my check followed by another. Anger and confusion rushed through my veins. I felt more confused than I did heartbroken. I didn't know what to do or say but what I did know was that Jason betrayed me. The words from the letter flashed through my mind like pages in a book. I re-read the letter many times letting the words sink in but for some reason my heart didn't want to believe what was written.
"Libby, are you okay?" Mag called from the other side of the door. I breathed in trying to speak but the words didn't come out. She called again.
"I'm okay, I'll be down in a bit" I said through my tears my voice cracking. Exactly a few seconds later I was alone again, complete silence filled the space around me. I got up off the floor, shoved the letter under my pillow and went to the bathroom. Quickly I washed my face, grabbed my bag and made my way down.
"Libby is everything okay?" Mag asked as I approached the kitchen.
"Yes everything is fine. Erm Mag I'm going out. I might be home late so don't wait up for me" I said kissing her on the check and walking out before she could say anything. I knew it was wrong to hide something that big from the two people who took care of me but I needed time to get myself together. Dave's car roared to life almost damaging my ear drums, I zoomed off driving as if I was in a race.

White chairs decorated with pink ribbons, a red carpet laid out for me, colourful flowers everywhere, everything would have been perfect than I would come out with Dave by side while Jason would wait for at the end of the aisle. Smile's on everyone's faces. That's how I imagined it to happen until I read THAT letter. Thoughts flickered through my mind as I drove and drank. In that time I began to doubt everything. I thought maybe I and Jason never really had anything and I was just an experiment. I wanted to blame him for everything, I wanted everything to be his fault, I wanted to make him look like the looser when in reality I knew it was me who was the loser. It was me who fell for him when I knew I shouldn't have. As I was lost in my crazy thoughts I hadn't noticed I had gone over the speed limit and had a police car right behind me. There wasn't much point in me going on so I pushed the breaks forcing the car to stop. I waited.
"Ma'am please step out of your vehicle" a tall police officer said holding a notebook in his hand. I knew what was coming so I stayed quiet.

Drunk driving. How stupid could I get? This wasn't me, I've always been the responsible one. I sat down on the bench in the cell I was given and tried to gather myself together but nothing. It was useless. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of me. After an hour of waiting a man came to the cell and opened the door.
"You've been bailed" he said but it sounded more like a mumble to me. I got up and followed him. Dave was sitting on a chair talking to the officer at the table, all eyes turned to me.
"Dave I..." before I could say anything he nodded at the officer and left, not looking at me once. I followed him, not saying a word. The ride home passed by in silence. As we reached home Dave got out the car and slammed his door shut leaving me alone.
"Go to your room" He said. I obeyed with my eyes full with water.

The next past days weren't my best, I mostly spent them in my room. The door was always locked no one came in or went out. Mag did come to check on me but I would just smile, she even had sent my friends to talk to me. I knew that they all knew that something was wrong with me but they didn't know what. Kate had tried to talk to me many times but I never had the courage to tell her what was wrong. All I could think about was that letter, day and night. I knew I wasn't ready for his goodbye yet I tried to convince myself that I didn't care for him. However deep inside me I knew his one letter was tearing me apart, piece by piece, I was losing myself. After a week my whole life just paused. I wouldn't eat, nor would I talk to anyone, I wouldn't even get up to go the bathroom. It was like my mind left my body. He'd become just such an important part of my life that I never learnt how to live without him.

A knock at the door. I didn't notice when I fell asleep or when the sun came out, I got off the floor and opened my door finding Kate out of breath.
"Kate. What are you doing here?" I said confused. Without further ado she came in to my room pushing me out the way.
"Close the door" she said catching her breath. I did as she said and closed the door walking back towards her. She sat down still catching her breath while I took a seat next to her looking at her wide eyed.
"I need... I need to tell you something" my heart began to race.