Heartache

Chapter 29 - Hope Is Lost

Chapter 29 - Hope Is Lost

Jason's P.O.V

"Good morning" a female voice faintly said. I opened my eyes to see Dian holding a tray, I rolled my eyes at the sight of the small plastic cup. "Up you get" she said handing me the cup. I shifted myself up or what was left of me to move and took the medicine. We both stayed quiet for a while looking at Libby as she slept. Her head leaning on her arms, with her face sore and red. "She's been crying all night you know, I heard her from outside your room" Dian finally said, my eyes glued to Libby.
"I know. I heard her. It was like I aware of everything around me but I was asleep" I said not being able to clearly explain my point.
"It happens. Our brain is a mysterious organ" she looked at me with her eyes wide. "Sorry, I didn't mean to..." I shook my head and smiled.
"Don't be. I think I've finally accepted it. Although I don't think I can accept this banging headache I have right now" the excruciating pain was getting sharper by the minute.
"Your meds will help with that. I'll be back soon again to check up on you" she said walking away, I carried on looking at Libby. "You are lucky to have her. Not many people find love that true and pure" she said I smiled at her.
"I know" I replied and with that I was left alone again with my sleeping Libby.

About an hour later, still looking at Libby, she yawed and stretched her body.
"Morning" I said my voice came out louder than I was expecting it to, instantly her eyes flung open and her body froze in an unusual stretching position.
"You're awake?" I nodded. In a flash she was hugging me, her arms tightly wrapped around my neck with her simultaneously kissing my face. I let her have her moment despite the headache. A few seconds later she lifted her head to reveal small tears running down her check.
"Haven't you cried enough" I said wiping the tears away.
"How you feeling?" she asked her eyes wet but a massive smiled appeared across her face.
"Okay but are YOU okay?" I moved her hair, her checks felt damp. How much did she cry?
"I'm okay now" she hugged me again. "I missed you" her voice muffled in my neck; tickling me a little.
"I was only out for a few hours" I laughed at her. Libby let go of me and got up moving her hair out of her face but I pulled her even closer to me.
"It was a whole day okay" she corrected me trying to get out of my grip but I held on tighter.
"Oh my gosh no. Wow that is so long. I'm sorry you had to wait a whole day for me. I should be punished" my voice got a little louder now as the meds were helping however I knew the tumour was still resting in my brain.
"Yes you should. And your punishment is that I will not let you out of my sight. Not even for a mille second" she said moving her hair out of her face again.
"That is my punishment?" she nodded trying to keep an angry face. "You should give me punishments more often ... You think maybe next time you can give me something... let's say... more physical" I asked smirking at her, her mouth dropped and slapped my arm.
"Ow. When did you get so strong?" I rubbed my arm. Or maybe I was just getting weak, I thought. She smiled and lifted her arm, showing me her 'flat' biceps.
"That's what you get when you mess with these babies" I pulled her closer our faces centimetres away. "Jase were in a hospi..." I tuned out and concentrated only on Libby. I softly kissed her neck, my arms tightly gripped around her. She didn't fight me off instead she wrapped her arms around my neck. My headache was still there but I ignored it keeping all my focus on Libby. Suddenly the door flung open, I stopped and turned my head to see Dian accompanied by my mother. Sh** why does this always have to happen to us? Libby flew off me, her checks turned bright red as did mine.
"OH were sorry. We'll come back later" they were about to close the door but Libby stopped them. We took a little to separate as we were a bit tangled with the tubes stuck into my body.
"Erm Jason I'll come back later" she said sorting her hair out and going outside. My eyes traced her as she left.

"Dr. Hyde said you have shown a little improvement but we will still keep you here under observation. I'll come back after an hour for your tests. I leave you two alone" Dian said going out again, she smiled at me the whole way through, I tried to ignore her smiling.
"How are you Jason?" Mom asked grabbing a chair and sitting next to me. I took her hands in mine and squeezed it.
"I'm okay mom. Don't worry" I said smiling at her. Her body relaxed and her eyes went softer but when her eyes sifted to my legs she tensed up again.
"I'm sorry about your legs." I sighed not really wanting to remember the fact that I won't be able to walk again. I fake smiled at her showing her that it didn't affect me even though it did. A lot.
"I'm sorry to but what can we do" Mom nodded in agreement. We talked for a while, mom cried too but eventually I told her not to cry as there's no need to. It was around nine when Dian came back saying visiting time is over. I was given my medicine and left alone again.

The next morning I woke up around 8 and then the door opened, with Mag and Dave coming in. We talked a while with the same questions being asked. Mag told me they made Libby stay home as she needed sleep and a shower. Dian came too taking my blood test, checking my blood sugar- glucose level and asked for a urine sample. I hated the urine sample as they literally made me pee into a small container but I didn't have a choice.

Two days past and I hadn't seen Libby since the previous days as the doctors wouldn't let too many visitors in the same room. A few friends came from my college and Caron came too. I was surprised to see her after so long but we had a good time talking. I had a visit by Kate and Lizzy but they only stayed a few hours mainly only to check up on me however despite all these people coming to see me I was anxious to see Libby. Dian came in telling me that I would be allowed to be discharged the next day and that night all I could think about was getting in my bed again.

"Good morning, Jason" Dian said coming in with a tray of my breakfast. I moaned at the food. I'm going to be so happy to get out of here.
"Morning" I replied. I ate my breakfast quietly while Dian stayed and kept me company talking about her previous patient. One good thing that happened here was that I made a new friend. She left after my breakfast and mom came with Mr. Peterson. I didn't say much to him but for mom's sake I behaved myself.

"Dian was telling me that Dr. Hyde would like to speak to us before you go" Mom said, I nodded at her knowing this wasn't going to be good. Dian came in a few seconds later with a wheelchair. She helped me get on the chair and was wheeled out to Dr. Hyde's office
"Come in. Have a seat" Dr. Hyde said. Mom and John took a seat while I stayed sitting in the wheelchair and Dian left us four alone. I took a deep breath and waited for the news.
"Is everything okay doctor?" John asked. Dr. Hyde hesitated then spoke.
"Jason... as a doctor it's my duty to tell you the truth. I'm sorry Jason but there is nothing more we can do for you. I and my colleagues have studied your case in depth but unfortunately there is not anything that hasn't already been tired on you. All we can do now is wait for a miracle." I blinked, emotionless at him. I'm going to die. That's the story of my life but that's not what scared me the most instead it was the fact that what will happen to Libby and mom when I'm gone? How would they cope?

Suddenly mom stood up with her chair flying backwards. She slammed her hands on the table and leaned closer to Dr. Hyde.
"Dr. Hyde it's the bloody 21st century there should be something you can do. You weren't made a doctor to sit around and watch people die. What kind of doctor are you. My son's fighting with cancer and your telling me there's nothing you can do" she shouted her voice echoing in the room.
"Mrs. Peterson please listen to..."
"NO YOU LISTEN, you are going to keep trying understand. YOU WILL KEEP TRYIING" John got up and held mom back, I was about to get up and calm her down but then I remembered I couldn't even get up. I looked at mom helpless, unable to do or say anything.
"I'm sorry. She got a little emotional. I'll just take her outside" John said dragging mom out. I looked at Dr. Hyde sympathetically however he looked like he saw a person running around naked.

~~~~*~~~~

Home. Mom wheeled me inside the house; I never thought I would miss home. Mom took me to my room and helped me on the bed. Everything in the house was the same except my room; it was clean. New sheet, no moulded food on the shelfs even the window was clean. Mom kissed my forehead then left the room crying again, not that we already had enough of her crying in the car. I saw john pass my room I paused for a second, then called out his name and he came in with a confused look.
"I was thinking... now that I'm you know, poof... I just wanted to clear everything out between us and you know... be friends" I said saying everything in my mind first. Surprisingly he smiled and held out his hand, I took it and he hugged me and slapped me on my back.
"Sure Jason. I've been ready for this day for so long. You don't know how proud you have made me" he said and I smiled at him. When he turned we saw mom and Libby leaning against the door smiling like weirdos at us. John left with mom and Libby came into my room. I shifted myself to the other end of the bed to give her space. I cleared my throat and got ready to talk but mom came in asking for Libby.
"Okay I'll be with you in a minute" Libby said to mom, she nodded and left.
"You just came and now you're going" I moaned
"I'll be back quick. By the way I'm happy you're clearing everything out" she said smiling she hugged me and I held on tight.
"Well if I going I might as well do good deeds right? I so wish I could freeze this moment in a frame and stay like this" I mumbled.
"Me too... Wait" Libby pulled her head away and looked at me confused. "What do you mean you're going? Where are you going?" she asked, I looked at her confused. I thought she knew. "You are not leaving me understand. Promise me you'll never leave" her eyes were soft and sweet and she waited for my answer. I pulled her into a bear hug and I kissed her cheek.
"I promise. I promise" I said, my eyes closed and fingers crossed.