Heartache

Chapter 30 - I Am Here For You

Chapter 30 - I Am Here For You 

Libby's P.O.V

He was shaking violently on the hospital bed, I screamed at the doctors asking them to do something but no one did. The monitors stopped and everything went quiet. I looked at the doctors as anger rushed through me. They stood still like statues staring into space while MY Jason was on his death bed, looking paler than ever. I jumped on to his bed and shook him violently trying to wake him from his slumber but he didn't move. I cried and knew it was the end but I couldn't let go instead I carried on shaking him till I felt someone pull me off his body. The arms tightened around me rocking me as I cried at the sight of the lifeless, pale body of my beloved. Suddenly I heard a voice, repeatedly repeating my name. My eyes flung open.

"Libby. It's okay. I'm here for you. I'm here" I blinked and took in my surroundings. I was on Jason's lap with his arms wrapped around me and my face buried in his chest. A dream. It was only a dream. I looked up at Jason, his eyes full with distress.
"I'm okay" I whispered and his grip loosed. I was out of breath and noticed I had tears in my eyes. Jason caringly wiped the tears away and delicately kissed my forehead.
"What happened? You was crying and screaming my name" he asked confused. I knew if I told him about my dream he would have got worried so I said I just had a nightmare and with that he didn't bring the topic up again as he knew it was something that terribly distressed me.

We lay back down on his bed with me on his chest and both his arms wrapped around me. I concentrated on his constant heartbeat, it somehow relaxed me but mostly it told me I still had my Jason. I played with the side of his open shirt while he played with my hair.
"Are you scared?" I asked all of a sudden.
"Of what?" he asked, confusion in his voice. I breathed slowly now tracing my fingers across his bare chest.
"Death" I whispered, his heart beat increased but slowed down again when he exhaled.
"No, but I'm scared about you and mom" he replied. I lifted my head and looked at him, now I was confused. I narrowed my eyebrows at him signalling him to explain. He signed again but this time it was heavier, like he was carrying a heavy burden alongside him. "I'm scared about what will happen to you and mom when I leave. Mostly you though" he said.
"Why me?"
"Because mom has John. Promise me something will you?" I looked up at him.
"Depends what it is"
"Why don't you trust me?" he smirked
"Oh I trust you, more than myself sometimes. I just don't trust your promises, because, well it's you" I said not being able to explain my self clearly but he nodded in agreement.
"Point. Okay well then... promise me you'll move on with someone else after I go" he said his voice strong. I put my head back down and rolled my eyes.
"My point exactly" I said.

Jase got up with me sliding of him. I moaned but sat up straight looking at him.
"Please Libby I want you to move on. I want to die knowing your happy" he said.
"You mean knowing that I'm in someone else's arms" I corrected already not liking where this was going. He rolled his eyes.
"No I mean happy. Please Libby. Just find someone else when I'm gone. I really want you to be happy. I don't want you to live a miserable lonely, life" he said.
"Who told you I'd be miserable and lonely" I asked he narrowed his eyebrows at me. I won't be lonely right? I have my family.
"Libby please just go with some..." I cupped his face in my hands and cut him off.
"Listen to me very carefully... I can live without you but never will I be able to live with someone else. Jason your memories are enough to keep me alive" I said slowly like I was talking to a baby. I let his face go and held his hand tight in mine. "Jason just because you have cancer doesn't mean I'll leave you. You should know me better than anyone else. I'm not the type of person who would leave someone and go after another. Jase after my parents died I found happiness again, that lies within you. I'm not going to leave my happiness. You want me to be happy right?" he nodded innocently. "Well then, you are my happiness, you always have been and always will be. Don't doubt my love for you please" he lifted his head and met my eyes.
"I'm not doubting your love I just don't want you to waste your time with someone who's going to die soon"
"HEY, you're not leaving me soon or at all understand. We're both going to die old. Now shut up and lie back down. I'm still tired" I said pushing him back down. I laid beside him and he kissed my forehead. We stayed quiet and eventually fell asleep again, or more like Jason fell asleep I was just lost in my thoughts and too lazy to get up.