being alive | glee

10. I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND

CHAPTER TEN |
i want to hold your hand

***

TWO WEEKS AFTER THEY LOST REGIONALS, Kurt came to Jason's dorm room. He hadn't said a lot to Kurt in the past few weeks. He was kind of heartbroken. It was enough that Kurt wasn't with him, but for him to be with Blaine was a whole other beast. He was sure he wasn't being very subtle with his ignorance of Kurt, but he was indifferent at the moment. He was hurt and he hoped that Kurt could at least tell something was wrong.

Kurt knocked on Jason's open door. He turned around from his position at his desk and frowned. "Blaine isn't here."

"I know." Kurt smiled warmly, stepping into the room. "I was looking for my best friend. Maybe you've seen him? About yay high, wears a lot of skinny jeans?"

Jason's lips lifted just slightly at Kurt's implication, turning around in his chair and looking at his best friend. He knew realistically he couldn't be mad at Kurt for being with Blaine. It's not like he made his feelings for the older boy clear. And he wasn't mad at Kurt. He had just needed a little bit of space recently. It was a little hard seeing the love of your life holding your supposed best friend's hand down the hallway everyday.

Kurt sat on Jason's bed, even though Blaine's was closer to the door, tucking his knees in as he got comfortable against the headboard. He patted the spot next to him, motioning for Jason to join him. Jason sighed, dramatically hopping into the spot next to Kurt.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Kurt asked, nervously biting his bottom lip.

Jason frowned, immediately reaching forward and taking Kurt's hand in his. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

Kurt nodded with a soft smile. "Yeah. That's exactly it. I'm... I'm okay now and I can go back to McKinley."

"Wait a minute. You-you can't go back. What about Karofsky?" Jason rubbed his thumb back and forth on the older boy's palm.

Kurt stared at Jason for a moment, smiling ever so slightly as he took in his friend's concern. "You don't have to worry. I talked it through with him. We're gonna start a PFLAG. I promise I'm okay. I just, I can't stay here anymore."

"What about, um, what about Blaine?" What about me?

"He'll still be my boyfriend. We're just gonna have to make time for each other." he paused, noticing how silent Jason became, so he squeezed his hand. "I'll make time for you too, you know."

Jason forced a smile. "Right. I know. I just... how am I supposed to make through French without you?"

Kurt laughed as he pulled Jason into a tight hug. "I'll facetime you everyday, so you don't flunk your oral report. I promise. And I promise you're not gonna lose me. I'm always gonna be your best friend."

Jason could feel himself get teary-eyed. "I'm really gonna miss you."

"I'll miss you the most." Kurt sniffled, holding him tightly.

And a week later when the Warblers were saying goodbye to Kurt in a serenade, Kurt's arms wrapped around Jason the longest with a promise that he'd never let him go and he hoped that was true.

-

One month after Kurt left Dalton, Jason was still easing his way through it. He felt kind of alone most of the time. It was hard to believe that the few months Kurt was here had impacted him so much, but it did. Blaine wasn't really speaking to him. He was certain Blaine was still envious of his friendship with Kurt. He still had Wes and David and the rest of the Warblers, but it was different. He'd never had a friend like Kurt, so every Friday afternoon when Kurt's name would flash on his phone was a good day.