being alive | glee

25. DING DONG! THE BITCH IS DEAD

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE |
ding dong! the bitch is dead

***

THE SUMMER COMES with months of tears. For the first few weeks after their breakup, Jason stays in his bed and cries. Kurt is there every weekend and their old sleepovers go back into effect. Sometimes Blaine joins them, but for the most part, Jason leans on him the most and Kurt is okay with that. He wants to here for Jason while simultaneously being there for Sebastian.

Sebastian is hurting just as much as Jason—just in a quieter way. Kurt tries to visit him too, but Sebastian's parents don't want him over, so most of the time it's just Sebastian sleeping in the spare room while Sam spends the summer with his family. Kurt has to be careful to make sure Jason doesn't come over on those days.

Sebastian is here again. He's staring up at the ceiling, completely silent, and Kurt is standing at his door with a worried expression.

Then Sebastian says without preamble, "You can stop staring at me. I'm fine, Dad."

Kurt huffs a laugh as he stalks towards his friend to lay down next to him. "You're not fine, Bas. You're numb. It's not the same thing."

"Whatever." Sebastian mumbles, turning his back to Kurt and snuggling into the pillow out of defiance, despite the fact that he knows he'd find more comfort in Kurt.

Kurt lays on the bed next to him, tapping his shoes together to cut through the silence in the room.

"You know, I'm not leaving until you talk to me."

"Then get ready for a sleepover cause I'm not talking." Sebastian grumbles.

Kurt sighs, turning to face Sebastian's back as he wraps his arms around his friend. The touch startles Sebastian, half because he doesn't like when people touch him most of the time and half because he still has some unresolved feelings for Kurt. But still Kurt presses his chest against Sebastian's back and lays a hand over his stomach and it's all so tender and sweet that it doesn't take more than a few seconds for Sebastian's body to start shaking with sobs.

Sebastian turns around in his arms then and buries his face in Kurt's chest. Kurt just lets him cry. He rocks him a little bit and whispers sweet nothings. He brushes his hands through Sebastian's greasy hair because he really hasn't showered in a decent amount of time. He kisses his forehead. Kurt does whatever he has to do to comfort his best friend.

When the sobs lessen and Sebastian isn't shaking anymore, Kurt asks, "What happened between you guys?"

Sebastian gives pause because there are so many factors about their breakup that he really can't say. We broke up because I'm a little bit in love with you too and it was too difficult for Jay to deal with. He wants to tell Kurt the truth, but the truth is too complicated. It's enough that he already fucked up the best thing that ever happened to him. He can't fuck up his friendship with Kurt too.

The truth is that Sebastian doesn't think he deserves good things. No one but Jason has ever cared enough to make him feel like he matters. And along with Jay came Blaine and Kurt, but sometimes he feels that those relationships with bleed out soon. He's not Jason's boyfriend, so who is he to them? Nobody. He's always been a nobody and he's prepared for everything to go back the way it was before he had Jason, so the fact that Kurt is holding him right now and cares about what he has to say is a little overwhelming.

"We... I just fucked it up. I don't know. I fuck everything up." He says instead.

Kurt's eyes soften like he wants to cry and then he pulls Sebastian in tighter as he says, "You don't fuck everything up. You and Jay are for forever. Maybe not right now, but you'll find your way back. I just know it."

Sebastian nods, but he doesn't believe him in the slightest.

-

It's the second time an old post from Sebastian ends up in his timeline feed that Jason finally decides to mute him. He doesn't want to block him. A crazy part of himself wants to be able to look him up and see what he's doing and who he's doing it with. But he can't just have his posts filtering through because it drives him crazy. It's only the days that he thinks he's okay that he sees Sebastian's face and he starts to shrivel up inside.

He thinks he should probably do that with Kurt's account too, but he knows it's irrational. Kurt didn't do anything to him and he doesn't like Sebastian that way. Kurt has no idea he's even part of the problem. It's not his fault everything is ruined.

There's another revelation that's hit him. It's July, a little over a month since they broke up, and he cannot face Sebastian next month at school, so here he is at Blaine's door with a proposal in hand.

"Hey, come in." Blaine smiles when Jason gets to his bedroom, waving him in from his position at his desk.

Jason manages a little upturning of his lip in response and goes to lay down on Blaine's bed as the other boy spins around in his chair to face him.

"So what's up, sweetie pie?" Blaine asks, a goofy grin on his face.

Even though the silly nickname makes Jason cringe, he's happy he and Blaine can joke like this again. Anti-prom really fixed their relationship and he's grateful that he gets to be close to Blaine again—especially now that he doesn't have Sebastian and things are awkward with Kurt.

Jason sighs. "I think I wanna transfer to McKinley."

Blaine's incessant tapping of his pen on the arm of his chair stops and he looks at him very seriously.

"Jay, that's a big decision. You need some time to really contemplate that." Blaine says, wary.

Jason rolls his eyes, though. "Kurt asked you to transfer and you were at McKinley the next Monday."

"Okay, so I jumped the gun on that one, yeah. But the only reason you wanna go to McKinley so bad is because Sebastian isn't there."

His name makes Jason frown and Blaine pities him, getting up from his chair and jumping on the bed with his friend. He sits with his legs tucked underneath himself as he pulls Jason's hands into his lap as some form of comfort.

"Jay, you know I get where you're coming from, but maybe actually seeing him might be a good thing?" Blaine tries, but it falls on deaf ears because Jason just pulls his hands away from him.

"We're not fixing it. I—we're done, B, and I—I can't even look at pictures of him. There's no way I can face him. I—I need to be away. I need to be with you." Jason has little tears falling down his face and Blaine's heart just aches for him. He knows he wouldn't be any better if something like this happened with him and Kurt.

Blaine reaches over and pulls Jason into a warm hug—and this, this is what he needs. He needs to be with his best friend. He doesn't want to peek around every wall trying not to bump into Sebastian. He wants to still be able to be in glee. He needs a new start and McKinley is his best shot at that.
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[A/N: this is short and sad, but it's really a prologue to S4, so slay! I've missed Jason and Seb for quite a bit of time, so it's nice to come back to it. Any guesses for how this season is gonna go?? Cause lowkey, I can see anything happening since I never plan anything out 🤪 hoping to have the first chapter up in February, but I'm also a pathological liar, so we'll see. Love you all!]

~ Emilee