being alive | glee

9. BAD ROMANCE

CHAPTER NINE |
bad romance

***

PAVAROTTI WAS DEAD. IT WAS THE end of an era. A lot of the Warblers had had Pavarotti under their care at one point. Even the death was hitting Jason a little harder than he expected, but it was a little bit different for Kurt. His admission of the bird's passing came when he burst into the commons decked out in full black and teary eyes. He asked to commemorate their friend in song and Jason smiled softly when Kurt began singing Blackbird. That smile dropped when he looked over at Blaine who was sitting opposite him on the couch. Blaine wasn't looking around the room or at his lap like most of his fellow Warblers. He was looking directly at Kurt like he was the world and that was the moment Jason broke. It had finally happened. Blaine had finally noticed Kurt. That meant that it was all over now.

Fuck Blaine and his stupid bird fetish that somehow makes him fall in love with Kurt, when Jason has spent the past six months completely enraptured in his best friend and Blaine has barely noticed Kurt at all. Just last week, Blaine told Kurt that he wasn't sexy. Blaine didn't deserve Kurt. He did. But he had to remind himself that Kurt wasn't his for the taking. He was already taken and Kurt wasn't his property.

Things with Morgan were growing complicated. The school year was almost over which meant Morgan would be traveling back to Korea soon and what the hell did that mean for their relationship? Of course, there was also the issue of his stupid feelings for Kurt that he just couldn't seem to get rid of. He didn't remember much of Rachel Berry's party other than his kiss with Kurt. That was his sole moment of clarity that night. He didn't remember anything other than the world disappearing behind him as his lips touched Kurt. It was everything he'd ever wanted. Fireworks.

Now Blaine wanted to feel those fireworks too and the idea of losing everything to Blaine yet again was frightening. When Kurt left the room and Wes quickly shut down practice early, Jason's eyes stayed on Blaine. He didn't trust him. Not in the way best friends were supposed to trust each other. Blaine was one of the first people out of the commons, seeming to try to catch up to Kurt, but Jason followed quickly behind him, grabbing his roommate's elbow and dragging them back to their room.

When Jason closed the door behind them and Blaine plopped down on his bed, he looked at him with a curious gaze. "What's up with you?"

"You don't love Kurt," were the first words out of Jason's mouth and he watched as Blaine raised an eyebrow in amusement. "I-I know you think you do because let's face it, he's amazing and he's pretty and sweet and perfect. But you don't love him."

Blaine nodded and Jason visibly relaxed, his shoulders slumping with relief until his best friend spoke. "You're right. I don't love him... yet. But I could grow to. And I don't get why you're trying to push me away from him."

Jason pulled his messenger bag off his shoulders and chucked it on his bed, uncaring of whether or not he might break his laptop. He paced back and forth, trying to come up with a reason why Kurt and Blaine couldn't be together that didn't encompass his own feelings for Kurt.

Jason stopped pacing. "Last week you told him he wasn't sexy and I spent all night in his dorm trying to cheer him up."

"I didn't mean it that way. It's just, the faces he was making were kind of weird, dude." Blaine defended him.

"So? He's insecure about a lot of things and considering he's head over heels for you, I don't think making fun of him is helping." Jason retorted.

Blaine rolled his eyes, standing up from his bed as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Why don't you just admit it already?"

Jason's brows furrowed. "Admit what?"

Blaine scoffed. "That the reason you don't want me to be with Kurt is because you wanna be!"